Bullying the bully...

How often does a parent face a situation when your child is bullied by the other kids of his age at school or some place else, and when you find your kid waiting for someone to rescue him ??

Well, it happened to me yesterday, it might happen to you tomorrow too.

I was on this normal weekday routine, with me dropping my kids off at the kids club in my fitness centre, while I sweat out my calories. The club, as always, had a number of kids already doing various activities. As I was signing in my kids, I noticed a 3 year old boy bullying both my sons (One is almost 5 and the other is 2). The other kid was just trying to shoo my elder one away by intimidating him and shouting "NO" at him. Of course, what can you expect from my 2 yr old when his older brother himself was standing quietly ?? I stood for a while, not knowing how to react. I was just waiting for my older one to say something to the rowdy kid. But, he just stood there, and since I was still present, he was waiting for me to rescue him.

As my heart went out to my not-so-wild kid, I went and told him to react if anyone says No to him. He just asked me, "Do you want me to hit him back??" I was so taken aback that I really didn't have the answer. Would any parent tell her kids to hit back the others ? Isn't that a bad reaction ?? If so, then what's the good reaction ?? How do you ask a kid to react to others who try to intimidate them?? I mean, this is just a beginning. Though much isn't understood by their still-evolving brains, don't we elders know that it's a starting stage to face this big, mean world ??

Concluding their small-world fiasco, I told my son to ask the other kid to stop, if he finds it irritating. My older one just nodded meaningfully. I left them to their own rules, not intending to completely direct their lives, but it kept bothering me all the while, as i worked out in the gym.

But yeah, sometimes, we tend to think a lot for trivial issues. As I went inside the club to fetch my kids again, I saw my younger son ( who is super-friendly) doing his coloring and sharing them with the same bully-kid. My older one, however might have decided that it's best to avoid him, and I found him in another corner playing gleefully with another kid. Such a difference among my own sons itself.

However, as I noticed that the same kid was waving goodbye to my sons in a friendly manner, I realized that these kids aren't that dependent on us as we think of them. Sometimes, it's best to leave them to their own resort... preparing them for a more, real world. Sometimes, some things are best left unanswered !!! Don't you agree with me ??

How soon ?

Today, as I sit in my new apartment, a gleaming one with a cozier look and feel and enjoying the newest addition in my home, an LCD television.... I suddenly went through a phase every parent faces... the embarassing situation when you watch something on TV and realize that it's too late to switch the channel off when you see the look on your kid's face !!

I was having this rare time for myself, lazing around in the weekend watching an English movie(which was based on a true story) .... Frankly, I knew the story involved adultery, fraud and sex ... but since it was a late night one, I took a chance with the kids, only to realize the folly !! My elder one was just poking his nose around in the living room, trying to sneak in what particular movie he was asked to avoid !! I have to mention here that my first-born, who is turning 5 in three months time, is a fuzzy-logic kind of a kid with questions teeming constantly in his little brain. All his emotions, be it fear, excitement or a surprise are equally met with his constant-evolving brain. He makes sure he gets the answer for all his questions, and sometimes they tend to be a bit embarrassing.

You don't need to be a brain surgeon to understand the differences between raising a kid in the present day and in the past. Technology has advanced to such an extent, that sometimes it's just scary. All the information anyone needs is just a click away. Exposing your child to the computer has both it's pros and cons. For instance, on the other day, my kids were watching these Telugu nursery rhymes on youtube, and after a while, I caught my elder one opening another video altogether accidentally. ( his browsing skills are a bit amazing for a 4 yr old) . This made me realize the importance of my presence, while the kiddos browse around. But then, how often can I be with them ?? Will my presence only intimidate them as they grow, and turn out to be a hindrance for them to share what they want... instead of them sharing some intimate doubts with me??

Sometime ago, I actually watched an Oprah Winfrey show, where a famous gay footballer admitted his sexuality in the public. When asked by an elderly, seemingly conservative senior lady, about when he knew that he wasn't straight, his answer was a shocking one... He was just 5 yrs old when he knew he was gay !!
I just couldn't buy that, nor could any one of the spectators,....but why would that famous man lie anyway ??
The question now is, how soon is a present-day kid gaining knowledge about the taboo topic of sex ?? Is it OK for a school-going kid to get sex education soon enough? And when is it soon enough ?? As a parent of two sons, these questions sometimes drive me crazy !

Common knowledge is that raising a kid itself is a task, but sometimes I realize that having a girl is a more responsible thing. Not that I can just leave my sons in their own wayward way, but a girl makes you stay on your toes all day long, and am sure all the girl-child mommies might be nodding at this !!
I have a cousin who has a pre-teen daughter. She was relating an incident which was definitely a bit shocking to me. Her daughter had a slumber party for her 8th birthday, and one friend of hers was saying "Girl rule, Boys drool !!" ... Come on, give me a break ! This kid is just 8 years old, and she knows that boys drool ?? What does that mean to her little brain ?? Did she actually know the meaning or was she just mouthing those words she might have heard from someone older? She must be having the answer anyway, but it really haunts me until now. Well, frankly... how many of our generation people knew about boys drooling about the fairer sex ? Not until your teens atleast, but yeah,... the gen next kids are definitely something.

Coming back to the movie I was watching, there was this scene when the girl goes around in a slinky dress. My elder one, who is usually brimming with questions, just looked at me with a knowing look. The look on his face actually made me sleepless, which is why am writing this post at 2am on a weekend night. Why didn't he ask me anything ? What was going on his mind ? Maybe, am thinking too much. Or maybe, it's time I revisit my actions. I am not exactly saying that I would like my son to be illiterate about sex. It's an entirely natural process, which is definitely inevitable. But, I wouldn't like it to be this soon.

My contribution towards his worldly knowledge should be unbiased, and I would like to envision a future with a teenager trying to be super-cool with his mom,(whatever that means, hehe) instead of those awkward mom-kid situations. But yeah, am yet to fix the right time, where I can actually watch even my favourite serial (FRIENDS) with my sons not giving me that menaceful glance.

In the pink of health !

Do you remember writing letters, predominantly starting with "In the pink of health" ? I do !!!! Health is so important for any living being that the first thing you ask anyone is "How are you?"

With two kids at home, health is just a very important issue and the most-discussed one in our house. In fact, the most common topic among two moms would be a healthy baby and the various measures they take respectively for their babies.

With this, I would like to share some useful health tips for a healthy baby and a healthier you.

---> Germs, germs go away
With an infant still feeding on bottles, be sure to wash the milk bottles as soon as they drink from it. A mild soap is the best solution, followed with a sterilising routine.(Boiling them for 5-10 mins). And one more unheard tip?? Keep the sterilised bottles in the freezer until use. It's the most difficult place for germs to settle in.

---> The three-second rule.
Did you know that food dropped on the floor is still edible if it's picked within 3 seconds of the fall?? The food droppings is a very common sight in the houses of toddlers. They tend to have this uncanny habit of spilling anything and everything. But, this rule applies only if the floor is neat, and also the kids hands. You can't expect a food to be germ-free if your hands arent. Keep a soap-free sanitiser always at reach. The best way to kill germs. But please don't over-do it. As they say, too much of anything is good for nothing.

---> The right dosage
Feeding time battles are best fought with the kids favourite food popping up constantly on their plate. For instance, both my sons are major egg-fans and love to eat it daily. But a kid's weekly egg intake shouldn't be more than 3. Solution?? I divide a single egg into two. That way, they are getting 3 eggs per week, and they are happy too. Such small things should be regulated by a mom herself. Just browse through some popular kids food websites, and try to indulge them in the best foods, without actually spoiling their little tummies.

---> Leftovers and guilt trips
Eating healthy is a very important factor for a hale and healthy living. And it should start from childhood itself. The risk of an obese child turning into an obese adult is definitely more. Parents should develop the art of eating nutritious and wholesome foods, through which one can ensure healthy offsprings too. Stale food is never an option for kids, in fact...not for anyone. Did you know that food starts to degenerate as soon as you have cooked it?? So, think twice before you feed yesterday's leftover to your child. The little tummy definitely deserves much better!!

---> Cough cough !!!
Always be very careful while feeding small foods like grapes, nuts etc to your little ones. The risk of choking over smaller foods is definitely more, and the very thought is just very scary for any mom. It's best to avoid such things, but if you really want your kid to get their nourishement through nuts, please grind/blend them. Dont wait for a kid to choke on it and then take a first-aid measure pertaining to it. It isn't really worth it.

---> I love sugar, what do you like?
Some kids tend to overdo sugary foods in their daily intake. Honestly, my younger son is one such kid. He loves anything in the sweeter portion. That just tends to give him instant energy and he shows it by his constant jumping and running around. Well, I still have to work on balancing his daily food intake, blending enough veggies along with his sweetened meals. Any suggestions mommies ??

---> First-aid
A first-aid kit is a must-have in any house. Not only for the little members. But also, for the adults too. But yeah, when travel is an issue, the first-aid kit should be the first one to be on the packing list. A basic paracetamol would first help a parent survive any sudden illness in their child. And of course, moms know best about band-aids too. Kids, with their constant activity, tend to get more hurt in any given day. Adhesive bandages are the best solutions to be infection-free.

---> Weathering the changes.
Children are mostly prone to weather changes, and so do their health. Parents should be extremely careful during the FLU seasons, and should take proper measures for them. A FLU shot at the right time will help your home be free of the unnecessary colds and the nighttime coughs. Always make a note of all the vaccinations your child needs to get, and be sure to get them too. After all, prevention is better than cure !!

---> The right choice !
Kids exposed to activities like swimming pools tend to get infections easily, because most of the disease-causing germs are spread through water only. Moms should be extremely careful and should choose the right kind of place a child should go in for his extra-curricular activities. Make sure of the health measures taken by the club you send your child to.

---> Do I know you?
Another important tip !! You have to advise the little ones not to accept any kind of food from strangers. Its better to be paranoid than be dead.

And of course, to say the least, a mommy's health is very important issue too. An issue not to be neglected, an issue not to be taken lightly. Take care of yourself properly, so that your family has a good example to fall upon. You will definitely find a healthier home with a healthier you!!!

It worked for me !

Raising a child in the present, competitive world is a great challenge to any parent. Trying to put up with their tantrums, giving into their whims and fancies, adjusting to the next generation lingo, trying to bridge the gap between the generations, everything is a major task for a responsible parent.

I've seen many parents complaining about their kids in several different ways. They just don't eat right, they just don't sleep in the entire night, they don't listen to my words! The list is endless. Am not trying to be sattirical here, but don't we know that kids are a bundle of contradictions ? And most importantly, if we realize that our parents too have faced the same situation with us years ago, I think the level of frustration will remarkably go down in any parent. After all, it's the genes which is running in the blood, and their behaviour is nothing but a mirror reflection of ours.

Of course, there isn't a problem in this world without a solution. We just need to find that magic key to the problem, and life will be definitely easier. Am not trying to imply that I have the most angelic kids in the entire world. No one would believe it too. So, it isn't worth a try.... but, what I am trying to explain here are the little solutions I thought would make a mom's world happier. Read on.

---------> The day kick starts with the waking-up routine. The morning-time battles are best known to mothers who have school-going kids.
One great solution to avoid sleepy mornings is to tuck in the kids early in the night. And it should be developed as a habit. No exceptions to it in the weekdays.(If possible, for the weekends too). When the kids have their right amount of sleep according to their age, morning times wouldn't be a big struggle for both moms and kids.

---------> As a mom of a two and four year old, I know how irritating a child gets during the tooth-brush time. Kids under 4 yrs of age don't tend to co-operate with their brush routine, when ironically, their teeth should be the most-cared for, because of all the sugary stuff they eat through the entire day.
One nice solution is to count their teeth slowly while brushing, or sing a song of ABC's. Their mind will distract off their hatred towards toothbrush. Try it !

---------> Breakfast should be never be skipped for a kid.
Keep it light with a cereal or a single pancake or even a fruit.... if you are skeptical about his lunchtime. But yeah, when a kid skips his breakfast, he gets crankier and tends to give more trouble during lunch. So, its better he starts developing the habit of having more meals instead of just munching it once.

-----> A mother trying to feed a wailing baby tied to a high chair would be a very common sight in many homes.
A high chair is definitely a good idea, with table manners and discipline instilling in the kid pretty soon. But if the kid is unmanageable, it's better to give in to his routine and let him wander for a while, before he comes back to another morsel of food. If a mom is more keen on the amount of food going into the child's tummy than the food lying on the carpet, then the high chair can go in for a toss. Trust me, the kid can be diverted in some sort of a manner,....be it the TV or a fun educational website.

--------> Are you worried that your little one isn't having his right dosage of vegetables and fruits every day ? There's a solution ! Substitute the fruits with juices, and try to mash veggies into a lentil soup. Your kid doesn't need to know what he's eating, and you can be happy as long as the required thing goes into him. If he has a sweet tooth, try blending the mashed veggies with sweetened yogurt. It would serve as a great dessert and no kid would leave it.


---------> I think most of the moms would smile at this topic. The inevitable NO ! Which kid doesn't say no to anything we suggest? Atleast, it's my kids' favourite word.
NO to switch off TV,
NO to being quiet, NO to clean-up,
NO for everything.
Thanks to my elder son, my younger one follows suit. Of course, I do have the right key in my hand, for all their NOs. My elder one, being close to 5 years old now, is the better judge of the two among my kids. He understands my mood in a very subtle way too. He knows that I hate the word "NO", and so, though it invariably comes from his mouth, he realizes immediately how serious I am with my glaring eyes. Of course, time-outs are another remedy for the temper tantrums in my house. And more so, I realized another effective way of avoiding their "NO's" is to get them in a funny or silly mood, with them listening to any word of mine. They tend to listen more to me when I am friendly, than when I show my 'Hitler' attitude. So, what's there to lose? No one's ego!


--------> A common problem in any kids household is the unending clutter, in the form of toys, books, clothes,etc. Modern-day parents tend to go overboard with their kids, buying everything and anything a child points out to. True, a child is an apple of a parent's eye. But, in the process of buying all the unnecessary stuff, a house will be just changed to a sad dumpyard, instead of a lively children's home. My house is also not too much different. We have umpteen number of toys, tons of books, pencils, crayons and all the crazy stuff.
But my solution to getting organized ? To dump the clutter as soon as possible. I tend to sort out all the unused toys and clothes almost every month, and would give them to charity. I tend to recycle all the paper-work as soon as possible, especially the meaningless crayon scribbles.
And of course, teaching the kids to clean-up as soon as the play ends. Thats the most important part! As a rule, I don't allow toys in any other room in my house, other than the kids room. Let it be a mess until they play...After all, it's their world. I let them indulge in their crayons, puzzles and whatever they like. But the fun is confined to that room only. That being said, I find the rest of my house toy-free and more organized.

--------> As a mom, I know how little time you get to yourself, especially taking care of your health and beauty. But, one important point to be noted is that our health is very vital so as to take proper care for our little ones. One should never neglect oneself. Well, am literally working on it.(I still need to be reminded of the daily Iron intake for my anaemic problem).

That being said, a kid and his tantrums are best understood by his parents alone. It's upto you to decide to get the best out of him, in your own little way, thus ensuring a more disciplined kid and an even more happier home.

Happy Organizing !

Dispelling some myths

Whenever I encounter some to-be mommies, I just smile at the uncanny similarities amongst all the women. The anxieties about eating right, the worries about mommys tummies, the anticipation about the new-born, the loads of shopping for them, all of them are literally so common among the pregger ladies that it only brings a smile on my lips, with me facing a similar phase some 4 years ago.

----->When I became pregnant for the first time, I was very ecstatic and worried for a little while too, with me being in my final year of engineering, and having serious doubts on coping up studies along with pregnancy. Though it was a planned pregnancy, nothing could prepare me than the live experience of having a live organism inside me, growing by leaps and bounds with each passing day.
Myth : Coping both motherhood and college is a tough task
Truth : It's tougher than you think. I remember taking all the steps to my second-storied computer lab in college, while I was 5 months pregnant ! Trust me, I just craved for an elevator, or worse, I was just craving for a long leave from college.

-----> My elder son was definitely a very active baby, right since he was in my womb. As the third trimester approached, my doctor told me about the constant kicks a baby would give, reminding the mom that it's either hungry or might be even just playing inside their haven. But what she didn't tell me was that it was a constant process, a 24X7 schedule my baby planned for me. My doctor thought that I was exaggerating when I told her that my baby just wouldn't stop kicking from inside the whole day. She just rolled her eyes saying "An active baby !" ...while I found myself rolling on the bed the entire night, almost getting insomnic.
Myth : Doctors know it all !
Truth : Well, undoubtedly... I had the best doctor attending me, who was just a call away to answer all my weird questions even in the middle of the night. But, the second time, when my Singapore doctor confirmed it twice that it's a baby girl in my womb, I had my shopping bills piled upto Rs.7000, only for the new-born. I think that doc still owes me that money with me giving birth to a boy.....hehehe

-----> My first pregnancy was definitely a memorable one, with me putting on 28 kgs altogether in the entire 9 months. Blame it my ignorance, or blame my mom's utter pamper, I was always hungry and devoured all the tasty ( read fatty ) dishes, which my mom used to dish out as soon as I craved for them. I couldn't actually decide when to stop, and needless to say, I had very tough time in shedding all that baby weight.
Myth : You need to eat double your intake, because of another life in you.
Truth : You definitely don't need the double intake. It's just gonna make you double the size, that's it ! The baby definitely requires extra nutrients, which can be replenished with healthy diet, including veggies, fruits, and milk. Low-fat is best recommended and is also enough. Moms don't need to consume FATS in order for the baby to be healthy.

------> With a heavy baby inside, and me turning to be heavier than expected, my activities were just cut down to watching TV and eating. I know, am setting a bad example.... but this was only the first time ( when I had all the time for myself... with me taking a long leave from college through my last semester). I didn't hear anything about pre-natal yoga or anything for that matter. I was just busy watching my favourite saas-bahu serials on Star Plus. The second time was definitely a hectic one, with me managing my toddler and cooking and doing all the household chores until my third trimester.
Myth : You should not strain yourself. Rest is very important for a to-be-mother.
Truth : Of course, no one advices you to strain yourself when you are pregnant. But of course, many girls assume it as a great vacation, pampering themselves with excess food and very little activity. Don't be angry with me, because I did the same thing,
and now me advising not to pamper yourselves. I am just trying to say that it's always better to be health-conscious than behave as if getting pregnant is the only excuse for eating relentlessly. Enroll yourselves in pre-natal yoga, it's a definite remedy for a mom to be in shape post-delivery. ( If not me, I have a friend as a living proof ! So trust me )

----->After the baby ( I delivered through a C-section), all the elders amongst my friends and family kept visiting me and loading me with their own-versions of mommyhood advice. I was so overwhelmed with the entire thing of nighttime feeding, diaper changing, and the constant wailing of my child, that I found the other people's advices to be just throwing me more into a soup. I just couldn't stand anyone telling me anything, be it good or bad. I mean, no one actually gave me bad advice....but the blues definitely hit me hard, and I just wanted to flee somewhere ! (for a while, of course)
Myth : Listening to old wives tales will help you and your baby.
Truth : Sorry, but I wasn't ready for them. I had my own versions of anti-advices for all the advices offered. I was trying to be logical, and I don't see why a new mommy should devour atleast 2kg of "Desi ghee" within a month !! I mean, please....a woman should atleast judge what's wrong and what's not... not relenting to any grandmom's tales.


----->When I joined my husband in Singapore ( my older one was now 3 months), my mom accompanied me as a gesture to help me with my first-time motherhood. Though she was scheduled to be for atleast 3 months, she had to pack bags within a month, with my utterly-dependant dad finding it extremely difficult to manage anything for himself. I still remember the day, when we dropped off my mom at the airport and came home with trembling hands, because I wasn't even good with diaper changing. I literally wept in my husband's arms, with a gushing flow of anger and fear. The first bath i gave to my infant was definitely a memorable one, with me learning a great lesson in life. You can do anything !
Myth : Handling an infant, doing all the motherly chores can't be done alone.
Truth : An exterior help is always welcome, but if that's not possible, moms need not panic. Just take it slow and easy, and remember "Nothing's the end of the world ! " Your baby is going to follow your routine, not someone else's. So, its upto to decide the way you raise him.


------> With months rolling by, and my first-born slowly turning into a strong toddler, I was getting worried with each milestone. Be it the first tooth, the first crawl, the first steps, the first words... everything were recorded on the video and I found immense joy in sharing them with my friends too. When he didn't crawl until 9 months, I was worried. When he didn't call me "Mama" until 18 months, I was worried. In fact, I kept pestering my husband to visit a speech therapist for my son too. Now putting up with his non-stop chatter, my hubby jokingly asks me if I still wanted to go to the doctor.
Myth : Will my baby ever crawl or respond like that kid ? ? Will he speak like his pal ?
Truth : Any child (unless there's a serious problem) would definitely cover his milestones within his own body limits. Never push a baby too hard. And most importantly, never compare a child with other kids. Every child is unique !!

-------> After my first-born started preschool, I had lots of complaints about his wandering off from the group activities, and about his short attention spans. I was beginning to worry about the constant complaints from his teachers about his non-social activities. Well, he was just 3 years old then, and I didn't entirely realize that a three-year old tends to involve in parallel play, and has very little to do with the other kids. By the time I realized this, my older one already began to like school, and the complaints got lesser. Now, he is one of the best kids in school. No kidding !
Myth : My kid is not very social... will he ever get along with other kids ??
Truth : A kid's mentality is his very own ! Nothing can actually change that. It's his own identity and parents should encourage the kids to be friendly, but never push them to be more than they can actually do. It just curls them inwards. Of course, involving preschoolers in group activities might tend to help them overcome the anxiety and fear of handling the outer world. It's all in a parent's jurisdiction !

Actually, its only the first time a to-be-mom would have so many doubts and worries in her mind, while the baby inside is ready to come into this world. The second time is definitely a lot easier and the mother actually matures in her mind, and handling a baby is definitely easier, if not a breeze !

Just dispel all the myths in your minds. Trust me, in a mommy's world... the reality is not really harsh ! Face it ... Enjoy It !

Revisiting the blues !

Knock Knock !
Who's there?
Its Blue ....
Blue Who ??
The Post-partum blue....
Not again !!

Raising a child can involve a lot of do's and dont's... it involves a lot of myths and confusions in the minds of first-time moms. When I became a mom for the first time, some four years ago, my mind wasn't just confused but was also racing ! I was actually petrified with the overwhelming amount of time a baby's attention demands. I just couldn't adjust to the new phase of my life very quickly. As you could read in one of my early posts Post partum blues I was very much jaded with the entire thing of motherhood, in the early month of my child-birth.

With passing time and my sons growing at an amazing pace...right now, I find life less gloomier than when I actually experienced the post-partum blues. But that doesn't mean that life is all rosier !! The blues keep visiting me yet again and remind me of their existence.

Maybe, I should put the blame on the "Terrible Twos" stage, a name very apt for kids who turned two. Who would better know this than the mommies with toddlers at home ?? Kids at this age are at their crankiest best(or should i say, worst? ) Whatever it is, it's the moms who have to endure it. Am not too sure about the other toddlers, but these days, my younger son is a real prankster and makes sure he is heard too! His firm "NO" for almost everything just drives me crazy. All the endless hours of play and fun will be just melted with one tantrum, and I feel really helpless when tears are rolling down his little cheeks for no absolute reason. Maybe, this is the phase when they actually can't communicate properly, with their language confined to only single syllable words. It must be the exasperation to vent their feelings, that it just turns out to be those salty tears.

Last week, when my younger one was in one of his worst moods, so was mine(owing to Mother nature). It was a gloomy day, when he wasn't just eating right, and constantly crying without reason. Finally in the evening, I decided to treat myself to a quiet time in the library, and dropped off my hubby and kids at the fitness centre. Then, I bumped into a buddy at a coffee-shop. Was I glad to find him ? U bet! I couldn't help but break down before my friend about my "extremely-low" day, with my cranky toddler. I even admitted that I wished I was single, and was complaining about how the other girls of my age are still contemplating on marriage, while my life is completely revolved around diapers, medicines, and toys ! The only soothing effect I got from my buddy "The grass is always greener on the other side!" How true indeed !! That was the moment I realized that my older one had also passed this terrible stage of a cranky toddlerhood, who is now a very quiet pre-schooler. In fact, I realized I made a terrible mistake, trying to think of running away from the responsibility of being a mom. Isn't it true that God made mothers, because he couldn't be everywhere at all times? Well, i believe that! Atleast, when I see these helpless, little bundles of joy.

My mom used to advice me that motherhood is the toughest phase and also the sweetest one too. A woman should be entirely ready to be a mom, otherwise it's the children who have to suffer ( And to think, moms think they are suffering !!)

Life's lows can be melted down definitely, but running away is definitely not the solution. Now, I smile to myself with the thought, "When the rest of the girls of my age are busy changing diapers, I will be FREE !!" hehehe...

Bye bye blue !!

Gen Next !

Generation gap !!
A phrase I've been listening from my parents since a child. My dad used to speak a lot about generation gap. Whenever me and my younger brother started misbehaving, or went a bit out of control, we were given a long lecture on how they used to behave as kids, and how the present generation is getting totally wayward.(Rings a bell?? I think its a common story in every household). Fifteen years later, the tables have turned, and its now my turn to actually control my kids, and keep worrying about their behavior.With two boys in my house, one a toddler and another a preschooler, I am always on my toes. The common topics that constantly revolve around my mommy-brain are "Table Manners"(or for that matter, actual Manners) , "Mealtime Madness" and "Social behavior". These must be the highest goals to be achieved for any typical parent.

Sometimes, as I reel back my past scenes, with Dad relating stories of his childhood, a smile breaks onto my lips. When it was our turn to hang our heads down and relentlessly listen to our dad's lessons on behaviour, little did we realize the
importance of his preachings. We siblings were so literally used to his fables that it sometimes turned into either a giggle or a yawn. Sorry Dad !!

Thinking twice, the generation gap actually exists not only in age or moral behaviour, but also in technology too. Undoubtedly, the 20th century has been the most radical century of all times. We've witnessed the evolution of all the important electronic and electrical equipments in this century itself. We can still hear our grandparents relating incidents about the first street light, or the first radio transmission. As the next generation leaped, our parents got used to electricity or radio, but were still awed with gadgets like Television, Washing machine, etc. As kids, everyone should agree that our generation has taken all the above for granted. I remember the only new invention of our times, the Computer making its way into homes. In the 90's, when the Windows made its revolutionary path into millions of homes as PCs, there was a great deal of enthusiasm, and the Internet was just supposed to be a great boon to the human world.

Now, in the 21st century, raising kids is literally a challenge, with all the gadgets and equipments at common use. When I tell my kids about the frequent power outage in India, due to lack of proper funds, they are literally surprised and feel it as if it's something totally alien. They just can't imagine life without internet, leave alone the basic electricity. The present generation kids are so much used to the latest technology, that you find the various age groups of kids with their respective gizmos. The preschoolers with the phonics websites, the kindergartners with the Leap frog systems, the primary-schoolers with their video games, and the list goes on. I don't want to include the Big kids, who are hooked onto their Wii or Play stations though. It doesn't qualify as a generation gap. (Or maybe, it's just an attempt of our population to bridge a gap between the two generations....hehehe)

Getting back to moral behavior, I cannot completely agree on Dad saying that their generation was much better than ours, etc etc. Come on, there might have been exceptions in any time. If the kids in the 50's didn't retort back, were they less subjected to hard feelings towards their parents? It was just that their generation couldn't vent their feelings properly, which resulted in more frustration and depression. It's definitely a feel-good factor when kids are able to share their feelings and their fears, very much unlike the older generation where a father figure was met with only FEAR and a stick. In fact, gone are the days where the parents have to be so strict, that the kids should feel that they are in an army school. Studies have definitely proved that the more you bond with the kid, the better they evolve and share their feelings with you.

In the present times, getting the best out of your kids is definitely a huge task for a mother, like the social manners, or using the basic phrases "Thank You" or "sorry". Here, I should mention that kids normally tend to freeze when asked to say sorry, if a mistake is done by them. My elder one, for instance. He just wouldn't relent to my warning, and finds it extremely difficult to apologize for his sometimes-ruthless behavior. I keep worrying if this remains a trait in him, but hope that he overcomes it soon enough, at least by the time he realizes it's value.

Going back a half-century again, as normal Indians, who got their independence very recently, our senior generation found food only as a great luxury. Wasting food is an incorrigible crime, and for most Hindus, food was still considered a God. Amongst one of the many kids of a huge family, an individual was just offered a very minimal two meals a day, and that itself was a great blessing. Right now, anyone who enters a modern-day kitchen(you can enter mine, promising not to faint), will realize how many varieties of foods are available for the kiddos. The supermarkets are screaming with newer varieties of groceries, especially for kids, and it only makes a mom's job easier. The present day kids definitely would laugh at food being called "God". And that's when I get tempted to show them the droughts and famines still present in some parts of the world. We, as parents shouldn't definitely allow this kind of recklessness towards their mealtime madness.

Now, as I continue to raise my two pranksters, and when its time I teach them the little lessons on morale and behavior, I am not surprised when my younger one( who is two) actually says "NO" in a loud voice, and my elder one breaks into a giggle. I wouldn't be lying if I said that I am on the verge of laughter too. Maybe, the kid in me is still alive, but the mother in me asks me to behave properly for the sake of my kids at least ! It's all in a parent, to bridge the gap between the generations. And it cannot be achieved through any preachings. It's all an individual perception. So get to practice and bridge the gap, in your own little way.

Must dash now, the next gen is calling !!

The highs and lows of a mommy's mind

Every day, as a part of unwinding my routine, I try to introspect my daily schedule. Trust me, its a conglomeration of some really crazy stuff with my kids.

The day kick starts with Tej wailing and pleading me not to send him to school.The early morning waking-up time is a big battle, to be fought every other day.Thats when I get tempted to actually get him back and tuck into the bed along with him. But, not to set a bad example, I have never actually allowed him to "bunk" school, atleast to-date. Thankfully, the tantrum stays until his bath, and then he is as fit as a pumpkin to attend his pre-kindergarten. "School is fun" is what he declares finally , and gives a tight hug and kiss to me and his younger brother (who is now wailing to go to school, though he is still 2), and rushes off to his school. Hmmmm, life's little ironies ,.... you just want those things which you are forbidden the most. I feel a bit relieved , with my elder one gone to school , and having only one child vying for my attention. Anuj cries for a moment that he is left out, but eventually comes to terms with his favourite "Dora the Explorer". He gives the cartoon a hug and kiss and continues to watch it for a while. Now is the time for my "orkutting" , along with a big mug of Milo(yeah, Milo is the secret of my energy, LOL ) My mind is the most relaxed at this particular moment, with me kicking my legs off the computer desk , gulping my huge mug of Calcium-intake.

Then goes the same old routine , with Anuj's shower , followed by mine, and then the cooking. In the meanwhile , as a part of entertaining my younger one , I take him out for a short walk. At this moment, my mind is actually rushing. I keep looking at the watch, only to realise that I have only a few moments with Mother Nature , before i resume my chef's duties. I feel pity for myself for not having to enjoy the nature , while Anuj is cheerfully waving at the birds in the garden. My entire focus remains on what to cook , as my elder one comes home so much famished that he acts as if he came from the country of Somalia. At this moment, my mind is just closed , not opening to the morning gossip of the other ladies in the community. I barely manage to say a Hi to anyone who passes me, because I know I would be a terrible company at that point.

Lunch-time arrives with both my husband and Tej coming back from their respective work-places. My elder one, who has a wonderful sense of smell, tries to guess exactly as to what I cooked for lunch.Thats when I feel very much satiated with my culinary skills. After all, all my cooking skills are honed to be better only for my family, right ?

He comes back with his school-work, and tries to animatedly explain what he did for that day at his school. I get a sense of exhilaration, when he explains everything in detail , his likes and dislikes, and the various things he did with his friends. It gives me a sense of deja-vu ,with my school days seeming to rekindle as my son gets excited about his school fun.

Post-lunch, I suddenly get this low mood-swing , and sometimes or more often crib that my entire day is just revolved in the kitchen, cooking, cleaning and doing all the odd jobs. My husband actually gets perplexed, with my mixed feelings, because until then, I was this dutiful housewife, and the next moment, I behave like a cranky teenager missing her mom terribly. He tries to explain that it might be because of constant work with the kids, but nothing would actually help me. It's the lowest phase of my mind in any particular day. Luckily for him, he has meetings to attend in the afternoon, so would just rush off to his haven(spelt office, because of my tantrums). By that time, I would feel better, and then try to spend some time again with my darling kiddos, who are actually busy snatching things from each other.

A little while later, when the kids are in their nap-time, this is the time when my mind actually goes a bit relaxed again. I try to browse or chat up or catch up a movie. I love this part of the day, when I am more to myself. Another high in my day.

These days, as a part of our fitness freak regime, me and my husband have enrolled ourselves into the nearby fitness center. The plus point being, the kids get to enjoy in the kids' club attached with the gym, while we parents sweat our calories out ! There are various sessions going on, like Yoga, Salsa moves, Pilates , etc..through which our work-outs are just being more enjoyable. By this time, I convince myself that am doing pretty well with my routine, giving myself some commendable time, despite having two kids and a crazy routine. I definitely like this part of the day, and am looking forward to it each day.


Then follows the dinner and the sleep-time routine. In the meanwhile, both my kids dash into their room and come out with their crayons and play-dohs and ask their Dad to play with them., with their soulful, large eyes. That's the time I love them the most, when they tend to bond with their adult-male company, and keep yelling to me that they are indeed having FUN. Oh, how I love their funny expressions, when they goof-up with their Papa dearest. At this moment, I feel very much wonderful and love these precious moments of being a parent. Presently , my younger one has become one loyal disciple to his elder brother, and try to repeat and imbibe his role model. He keeps reading all the alphabets and numbers out of nowhere, and that's when I feel more responsible to make them a future Oxford or a Harvard students. Long time ?? Naah....time's just flying.

Finally, as I lay in my bed, next to my husband and my darling kiddos,...I realize that "Life is indeed beautiful". Its all in my mind. My mind, having started out as a strict mom, to a cranky teenager, to a dutiful wife, finally needs rest and just cuddles up to my hubby dearest like a baby. Thats when my mind is finally at REST !

This happened to me !!

Kids and their goof-ups !!

Who would better know than the ones who gave birth to them and who's been handling them 24 X 7 ?? Yeah, this post is dedicated to all you parents who have been handling the super-tantrums and the ultra-whacky lifestyle of the next-gen kids .

All the while, i've been posting all my experiences with my kids. Did i ever tell you all the goof-ups i've had with them too ?? Maybe its time for some honest confessions and some hilarious incidents with these little angels(or should I say Brats).

Honest Confessions

--- > I do most of the coloring in their coloring books.

--- > I get tempted to complete those yummy fatty desserts, when these kids tend to leave them half-way !

--- > I tend to go overboard when I dance with them !

--- > My house is currently filled with so many toys that atleast 10 other kids can play too. I think of charity every time but forget to do it! Maybe, I need a wake-up alarm .

--- > My idea of a vacation ?? Spending an entire weekend all by myself!!! I know its a shocking confession...but I was just being honest!!!

--- > We spend so much money on kids clothes..... We know we don't need it..but we buy them coz they are on SALE ! HUH..are we alone or do we have company??

--- > Sometimes, to have our private time...we distract the kids with TV.... i know, its bad if it becomes a habit ...but sometimes it works !

--- > Most of the car tantrums are avoided with a bar of chocolate!! Sugary bribes u see......

--- > I go hysteric when either the supply of diapers or wet wipes are coming to zero. I just can't imagine a moment without them... but sometimes I think "What the heck? what did they do when they didn't invent these??" Whatever, I can't be so adjusting .... Puhleeeesseeee..

--- > Both me and my hubby keep searching for the "most-important" things always. We try to put them inaccessible to the kids...in the process, we forget where they are ! HELP !!!!

Hilarious Incidents

---> One fine rare evening, when we got time for ourselves, putting the kiddos at a friend's place, and leaving out for dinner. I made a fool out of myself by asking for a high-chair as soon as I entered the restaurant. When the waiter just stared at my non-existent kids then only did I realize how much I got used to them.

---> At a bagel place, when I wanted to order for "Sesame bagels", I went to the counter and asked for "Sesame Street bagels".... The guy just stared at me for a while and laughed off saying "Maam, maybe u just wanted sesame bagels..not sesame street !!" Thats when I realized my goof-up .... heheheh ...

---> Once while running an errand in a supermarket, I had to urgently pass wind. I know its embarrassing, but since there was none around, I just let it go. My older one suddenly shouted , "Mama ! Someone farted !!" ...You should see me blush red !!

---> It was my elder one's first stage show on the ocassion of a spring break . I went equipped with a camera, all excited for my kid's special day . ...only to feel embarrassed that he just wouldn't perform at all, and would just stare down the ground. Even more embarrassment? The teacher revealed that he was the loudest boy during the rehearsal... she herself couldn't figure out what the problem of his non-performance was.... Answer? ME !!!! He's perfectly fine when am not around.... Will I ever be able to see my boy perform ??

---> We were watching this Telugu movie song, where the girl gets hurt bcoz the guy bites her on the lips... I was tempted to switch the TV off but it was too late. My elder one asks me, "Mama , how did the girl get hurt? Did she fall off?" I giggled and murmured, "Yes dear, she fell in love "!! Heheh.

---> One evening, on our way back from the gym, we had to go run an errand. My husband, deciding to put the parking lights on, thought to switch his gym gear to normal ones and dash back to the car within a few minutes. As we reached home, due to the chaos created by my hungry kids, we totally forgot about the car and the errand. We wake up in the morning to realize that our car has been towed away. Result ?? A clean 230 bucks for the release ....

---> Once, after completing the grocery shopping, we came back home empty-handed with the bags still remaining in the supermarket .

---> We have one super romantic portrait done, with my husband's nose on my cheek , and me with my closed mesmerized eyes. This was meant to be a bedroom pose, but we just put it for a while in the living room. A friend's daughter comes up and asks me , "Aunty, What's uncle doing to you in that photograph? " .... Whew, time to shift it to the bedroom !

---> Once, while sorting my laundry, I was trying to interact with my toddler and asked him to classify each one's clothes. The smart one he is , he was pointing out to my lingerie and said " MAMA " !!!!

If I continue writing, every feeling is a confession and each day is filled with such numerous, hilarious incidents.

Did you have fun reading this post ? If so, its time for you to be a part of this too.

Do you have some fun-related incidents with your kids, or someone else's kids, for that matter?

Do lemme know, Just post your funny comment...and I will be happy to paste them on this post.

Whatsay ? Get to work then, my fellow-parents!

Stay connected !

In this maddening world of 21st century, where human relations are measured by money, power and influence, I truly feel that staying connected with family and friends helps an individual make a better person.

Family values are both best explored and exploited in the Indian society. I didn't mean to be a racist here, but being the typical Indian I was raised as, I couldn't help but remark about it in this way .

I was the older of the two kids in my family. My younger brother was my first best-friend i've ever had, and continue to remain even now. Though there isn't much of an age-gap between us, I was always this bossy elder sister whom my brother used to look up in awe (It might have been fear or hatred too, but he was too intimidated to say that maybe..hehe ). I have a truckload of cousins too - both maternal and paternal . The times we had, the fun we shared, the festivals together, the tragic moments binding us... all have been so good to remind ourselves of the blissful life we had as kids.

Childhood has always been great fun for me and my bro with our cousins. My first cousins and we shared a great rapport amongst us. Always playing pranks on each other and especially on my dad .... have been great experiences. India, being known as a "Land of festivals", we always had major excitement whenever a festival approached us. It actually meant a holiday, new clothes, delicious delicacies and the binding among our relatives. Now, as we celebrate our own festivals without mom and dad and some thousands of miles away from India, we do realise the important of being actually together .

I remember a tragic incident in our family, when my dad's elder brother passed away in a train accident in 1995. It was a major shock to our family, and the very roots of our family just shook terribly. The worst hit was to my grandmother, who at the vulnerable age of 70 had lost her own son. It was a terrible time for our entire family. I remember my late uncle's kids still being in school and the turmoil my aunt faced during that horrible phase. The wound is still fresh in everyone's minds, but time dissolved and solved most of it. Now, my cousins have their own lives and my aunt is doing well too, with her job. Though nothing can get my uncle back into this world, the only lesson we were taught was the importance of "human relations" and its possible only until we are alive in this world. It just doesn't make sense to fight insensibly for minor issues, because life is too short for all the unending and unnerving squabbles among our own family members. The unfortunate incident was anyway destined, but it just remained a reminder for us to lead better lives with one another .

As we grew, my cousins, each one of them have their own individual lives ... most of them either married or engaged - busy with their own partners and kids. It's only when we watch the old pictures we do realize how fast time actually flew and how little bonding is actually left now. Despite being terribly busy in our own lives, I should thank the internet, which has helped us be in touch with one another despite being in various time zones and places too.

Presently living in the USA, where life just seems to be a whirlwind of activities, and days seem to divide themselves into busy weekdays and even-busier weekends, I sometimes ponder over the lack of warmth exuding among our own friends and relatives, due to the lack of time. Life in USA is nothing but a "rat-race" of who is being more successful than whom. That's what atleast I thought of until I was residing in Asia. But luckily, as I complete almost a year of residentship of America, I realise that the NRI's here are more positively adamant on preserving our Indian heritage and culture than the actual indians residing in India. It might be just because of staying in an ultra-modern country, the DESIS here tend to get a strange feeling of belonging to neither cultures. In an attempt to bridge the gap, most of the desi kids seem to imbibe the Indian culture through classical music or dance. It seems a little funny when the kids are actually speaking in the typical American accent, while also slowly mastering the Hindustani music. It just reflects on how strong we feel for our country, despite being eons away from India. That's one way of being connected too .

As a parent, I would love my kids to be brought up in a similar way, not tending to forget our actual roots, but also trying to fit in this global modern world .

I just say one thing to all the people who are trying to give an excuse of being "busy" in their lives. It just doesn't take more than a few minutes to wish ur dear ones on their special days. The other days might be their usual routine, but it really makes a huge difference to wish a dear friend or a relative on their special day. You do that this year, and you will never complain that no one wished you for your birthday next year. Its just a matter of reciprocation . Try it !!

Is this really a FAILURE ?

September 10, 2008.

An eye-opener of a date in my life ! A sad day too... with my best friend casually tossing me into the "Jobless" category ..and my husband proving it by actually clearing my education loan with his money . Hmm .... I know its not a good example to say "His" and "my" money in a marriage ... (everything was decided to be "OURS" )... but am not just able to digest the fact that I have no money on my own .

Eight years ago , I was this super-confident girl strutting towards a famous engineering college in Vizag , with dreams of achieving an identity for herself in this big , bad world .... despite being already engaged to get married . Nothing has ever actually stopped me from dreaming of achieving something big . When Dad offered to pay the tuition fees for my B.Tech , the-then Vijaya Shanthi was so confident of her success in her career that she opted for an education loan instead , which she was utterly confident of repaying it as soon as she graduated with flying colors.

Eight years later , Vijaya shanthi is long-lost ! Its ShanthiPrasadh which is known more to the world , thanks to Orkut .Ironically , when the "vijaya" is taken away from my name .... so did the sweet victory I thought to sought after as a student .

Right now , my life is what every girl dreams of . No kidding ! A loving husband , two cute sons and a good fortune . What else would a woman want ? Atleast , thats what mom taught me !! Hmm ...what's been missing is my identity . I am living my life as a wife , a mom , a friend and a daughter , and of course , as a sister too. But , as i question myself today ..( after I failed in repaying my education loan ) I realise that my identity in the whole race of womanhood is practically lost .

Personally speaking , I've always put myself way below everything else in my life . First being my family , and then my friends. Close friends of mine (which are a real few ) know how low self-esteem I really have. I might call it a lack of ego . But I've always maintained the statement that "Life is too short for all this bull-shit !! "( sorry for the lingo...couldnt help it ) .

As I self-analyse my present life , I realise that it's just divided into chunks of time , each for the various men of my life (my husband , my kids, my brother and my friends ) Everyone has been especially sweet to me in their own way , trying to make me just feel better , despite me not being able to actually start a career of my own.

I have always thought that am doing the world's greatest job , being a mom ! Friends of mine have always wowed on my ability to be in touch with them , despite having a crazy schedule with two naughty sons in tow. It was just a gesture from my end to the rest of the world . Or more so , it was one way to maintain my sanity too ...with a gruelling day in and day out with my darling kiddos . In the recent past , after I started writing this blog , I realised that I was indeed doing a wonderful job and have been complaining lesser about my non-existent career. But today has been a low key phase yet again in my life , reminding me of my otherwise life , sans marriage or kids .

Well , it might sounds cliched... .but if I would like life to rewind , I would ask the same life yet again . No complaints to that ! So , why am I actually writing this heavy and gloomy post ? To remind a friend to think if he thought his mom was "jobless" too , while raising him !! The male ego should understand that a female one also actually exists , it just doesn't seem as much as the male version ! And speaking of jobs , a 9-5 job is done by the evening , but a mom is still working until her kids are asleep late in the night . Now thats called a 24 X 7 job !!!

Maybe this "failure" will be a real stepping stone. Otherwise too , am not actually sitting idle... so no more complaints !!

Thanks readers , for putting up with my cloudy day ....
Will come up with a hilarious post pretty soon .

A travel to the past and the present !

"A person without travel is like a book without pages"

So much true !!

Travelling to new places , finding new things about their culture , trying out local delicacies ,....Ohh !! what great pleasures are hidden in travel .

As a child , my dad who's been always interested in travelling had taken us to various places in India. I still remember the trip we made to the North India , covering Darjeeling , Siliguri , a little bit of the Nepal border too . , along with Calcutta (It was still being called like that instead of Kolkata) . It was the most memorable trip we ever made as kids , along with 4 other families. I was 8 years old , while my younger brother was 6 . I still can't believe , my brother at that tender age , being the adventurous kid he was, had tried out rock-climbing at a foot-hill in Darjeeling . Me, being the quieter child just had fun watching him scale the hillock.
I also do remember the vast and immensely green tea gardens in Darjeeling . Oh ! What a treat to watch ! It was just a pleasure to watch the women in their local costume carefully plucking the tea leaves , quietly singing their cultural songs , only with a mild sense that these tea leaves are almost world-famous . The ladies employed in those tea gardens were so oblivious of their hard work , ..it just appeared as a natural thing to them and to us spectators too. We had fun wearing the local costume for a photo-shoot there. I was thrilled to see my mom as a tea-woman , who otherwise had always been in sarees.

There was this train ride we took from Darjeeling to Siliguri. It was definitely worth a ride. The traditional steam-train rides are definitely missing in this new millennium and I feel sad about that .

Then came Calcutta ...the city with so much of a hustle and bustle...it was just impossible to stay put in that city teeming with millions. We visited some of the many museums scattered all over the city . I still have a clear vision of the Dolls museum we visited there , and was so enthralled on seeing so many dolls and toys at one place . I was instantly transferred to a dreamland , and felt like "Alice in Wonderland" .

All these memories have been so good to recollect them over the years.

Post-marriage , due to my hectic college schedule , we couldn't make a honeymoon trip immediately (an issue which surfaces up each time we fight ..hehe) .. So , to make it up , me and my husband made a trip to Ooty ,the romantic capital of the South India , in our second year of marriage. It was definitely a memorable one ...and one thing we realized was that the place we visit as a couple has very little importance . We had a ball of time lazing around , having great food and checking out the local places in and around Ooty for a stretch of 4 days.

Then came the rain ...i mean , then came the kids !!

What to say , when the kids are present , we realised another important thing . The place we visit is utterly important. Otherwise , it was just a sheer waste of time , money and needless to say, effort !

The first trip we made with my first-born was to Thailand with another couple , who had a girl-child as old as Tej. I was actually very skeptical about the trip from the beginning , though my husband was just beaming with excitement over the trip . I wasn't too sure about our enjoyment in the "Land of White Elephants" with 2 cranky toddlers in tow . I was just hoping for everything to be OK . As it turned out to be , It was more than OK and we had a great time , despite some ocassional tantrums from the two kids .
The flight journey was a saviour . It was just an hour and a half from Singapore to Thailand , and it had definitely helped us enjoy the trip .Had it been a longer one , the kids who were already wailing their lungs out (because it was their first trip on air) would have driven us crazy .
Thailand is one charming place , full of new things to discover . Be it the traditional Thai massage , or the world-famous local cuisine , or the various one-of-a-kind shows. Me and my friend had a wonderful time with the Thai milk massage for one hour ,while our husbands were baby-sitting the toddlers . The massage had done wonders to our mommy-minds , which only needed relaxation amidst the hectic trip with the kids . Another hilarious incident was a trip on a small steamer boat to an island , Phi phi island. The onward journey was manageable , but post-lunch , after checking out the tiny island for a couple of hours , the actual trouble started . We being vegetarians (the other family was Jains..so u could imagine our diet ! ) had this famous Thai Green veggie curry . The food was served hot and it was very delicious ., but little did we know what trouble was in store in our return journey . The boat's rollicking movements had done wrong justice with our food , and all of us had to just vomit the whole of our lunch into the plastic bags we were already provided by the boat people who already knew how well the travellers would adjust to the boat movements . Needless to say , Thai green curry came out as it went into our tummies and we still laugh over our once-favourite curry. Yeah , we dont have it anymore ....as a reminder of that infamous mishap in the boat .

The next trip we made was with both our kids , when my younger son was around 10 months .This time , it was the "Truly Asia - Malaysia " . We decided to do it on our own and set out to travel only with our kids ., sans any outside company . There was this Mini-Vegas there , called Genting . It's a high-spot destination for casinos, entertainment rides etc . Though we couldnt take any ride together as a couple , bcoz of one baby-sitting while the other went on , we had a fair share of enjoyment in that mini-vegas . My husband , who was interested in watching the casino , had to go in the middle of the night , while we were sleeping .,because of no choice . Though the trip went on fairly well , we still regret doing it on our own , because a company with another family would have made a big difference , maybe allowing us to have some of our couple-time !

This has been Asia for us .

Coming down to the western world , California has been a wonderful place to explore the National parks , zoological gardens and some local parks. But all the trips we've made have just been a day's trip , not more than that ! We are yet to make major road trips with these kids in this part of the world . But , for now , Anuj being in the "Terrible Two" stage , I would prefer waiting until the next year to make an enjoyable trip , rather than actually travelling with him , and cribbing about his constant crankiness .

However , be it a day or a week , travelling with kids is always a huge task , filled with planning the hotels , transport , packing and stuff.
We , as a couple , divide the tasks , with my husband planning out the hotels , while I do the packing . If it was the other way round , we would be staying on the roads waiting for a hotel confirmation , with my kids missing their baby food. So , its better we do this way ! It saves us a lot of time and energy and effort !

Europe ?? Naah !! That can wait until my kids are ready to stay with someone else while we complete our long-postponed full-fledged honeymoon trip . I hope my hubby is listening !!

Time-outs

Managing kids and their tantrums seem to be one of the most inevitable jobs for mommies.My house and life is presently revolved around a toddler and a pre-schooler. You can imagine the rest of their tantrums.

As I grew up an indian kid, where spanking a child is a must-have routine in the parents' To-do diary, my younger brother and I were raised by a typical Leo mom. Here we go with my sun-signs madness ......I was a fervent reader of Linda Goodman's sunsigns while in college...and have to admit that my mom fitted exactly Linda's description of a typical Leo - Fierce , protective, relentless..to name a few !

My younger brother, whom I fondly call "Tamu" (younger bro in Telugu)...had always been this typical male-child toddler....always fiddling with GIJoes and those fake guns. His favourite passtime was to lose things in school every single day. Now, even an ultra-cool cucumber mom would go mad about it. So, do i need to say anymore about our Mommy lioness?? But, the bonus feature with my brother involved was that I was also subjected to the same spanking routine as he was, though there wasn't too much fault of mine As if I would feel bad for not sharing them with him. We, as kids, had a very strict regime and sometimes used to feel that we are actually living in a millitary school. Do i need to say that my mom was a strict follower of "Spare the rod and spoil the child" idiom ?

As i look back, I can't help smiling at all those hilarious incidents...Yeah, they seem funny now, because now its my turn to actually decide whether to spare the rod or to spoil my sons!

Every single day, when i continue to raise my little sons, I think of my mom and salute her! No exaggeration. Mommy used to say to me "You wouldnt know my value until you became a mom". How very much true! There were umpteen number of days when I used to feel the pressure of her strict upbringing a bit too much. But, in retrospection, I only realize that it was only for our own good.

Getting nostalgic, I would like to relate an incident during my childhood which made an indelible mark in my heart.

I was in my 5th std or so, when mom asked me to pay the school fees on my own. Normally, she would do it, but she just wanted to me start feeling responsibile maybe. So, here I go paying my school fees for the first time ever...saving a meagre amount of Rs.5(10 Cents). As my mom was expecting, I had to go and return that money to her when i went back home. But, since it was the first time i had some money on my own, I just went and indulged myself in a candy shower along with a friend. Buying wasn't an issue for mom, but the trouble started when I lied to her saying that the entire money she gave went for the fees. Little did i know that i couldnt cheat my mom so easily. I still remember spending a couple of hours in the dark, dingy bathroom that night, when my lie was found out. No slap, no beating, just a mere gesture to stay in the dark, despite mom knowing that am petrified of the dark. Doesn't it remind some of you mommies of the present-day timeouts?? Yeah, that's how my mom handled our misbehaviour. That incident just led me stay honest for the rest of my childhood, partly because I knew it wasn't worth scaring myself in the dark for such a small lie!

This was just one small example - Moral being, hatsoff to our parents for dealing with our tantrums so tactfully and wonderfully that we still remember these little incidents .

The years rolled by and i should add that my teenage was the breeziest stage for my mother. Then followed my marriage and my motherhood.

Currently residing in the US, spanking is an alien word for both the parents and the kiddos. When we were residing in Asia, weird stories about "how kindergarteners are asked to call 911 if their parents scold " were heard a lot in the mommies world. I was very skeptical and apprehensive about settling down in the US , partly for this reason. Not that i derive some sort of happiness if I spank my kids, but since I was brought up in the utmost disciplinarian way, I had my own doubts about handling my own kids.

Time-outs are definitely an effective way of handling a child's tantrum. The meltdowns and the temper tantrums are a daily routine in the life of a toddler. You need to be a parent to believe and endure it. On a lighter side , a cousin of mine had a daughter while I was still in my teens. I used to love playing with the little angel and used to adore her a lot. Once when i commented on how cute her girl was, my cousin just retorted saying " Wait till you get yours !! " ...hehe..maybe, that was just her bad day after all.

But, since the entire day is spent with them, it tends to get frustrating at times. And more so, when the child throws a tantrum. It could be a reasonable one or just cropping out from the blue. The typical toddler could be a real handful. And speaking of my toddler ?? He is a typical Leo !! Yeah ,yeah...back to the good old sunsigns...but i just can't help it when my life is dominated by two of the fierce sunsigners. Huh !!!

My older one is one calm guy. He isn't your typical boy who loves to play with guns or action figures. His favourite toys include books, puzzles etc. Having said that, he isn't an exception to the tantrum syndrome. He just throws a fit of temper when his puzzles arent properly being set or when my younger one naughtily tears off the pages from his favourite books. Life really gets to the hilt of frustration when both the kids are screaming their lungs out for the same book or a pencil. Solution ?? Yeah, its the time-outs which save my day. In fact, my kids do know that I would put them for a while in the patio or a corner in the living room, if they tend to get over-naughty! In fact, I would be lying if i said i never hit them when they tend to get overboard. But, I just realized that the spanking would act as a catalyst to their meltdown and they would cry even more as you would hit them. It's only through peaceful means we can ensure to regain peace in the household. Millitary backup ?? Naaa, it only worked for my mom..and it was India !

Here, I definitely am sparing the rod. ....but my eyes seem to be working for them as powerful weapons...so I ensure that they are not really spoilt !!

Shopping... my attitude !

Shopping has never been my forte in childhood. My mom, who was and is still a fervent shopaholic used to take me on her wild shopping sprees and spend hours in selecting one saree...while I used to actually wait biting my nails.,getting bored to death..but couldnt muster the courage to tell her that. Mommy, are u listening ??

As i grew up , I wasnt completely akin to shopping , but slowly started doing it on my own.Well, one can say its laziness which dominated me partly from scaring myself away from the retail malls. Added to this , when I got married , I only realised that my husband is an extension to my mom ....their moonsigns, their way of life..and needless to say , the shopaholic thing too. Whew ! From the frying pan into the fire ! Hehehe.

Post-marriage ,my husband has always been enthusiastic about my makeover.Did I tell you that i was this typical south indian orthodox girl ,whose wardrobe only consisted of the traditional salwars. As soon as we got married, my husband decided an extreme makeover in my entire look. He was the one to get my first pair of jeans too. Slowly and gradually , I evolved into the modern avataar.

Post-maternity , I had a terrible time in fitting myself into all those jeans.I slowly convinced myself that I would never get back to them and was contemplating on my wardrobe charity too. Huh !! But , as relentless as i was ...and so were the kids, I slowly came back to my normal weight range . However , i had to admit that ,by the time i took interest in the retail therapy, I got too busy with my kiddos and shopping relentlessly for them.

Shopping for kids is an entirely different arena. It involves lots of choices,lots of do's and dont's and lots of your time too. The word "budget" is always misspelt !! "Over-budget" seems to be our middle name. We just seem to have no tab of our expenses when it comes to the case of kids. You just go window shopping and return home with hordes of shopping bags...only for kids !! This has occurred umpteen number of times with us.

I would generally classify kids shopping into the following categories :

-> Food :
The most important and an inevitable expense:- Shopping for baby & toddler food. When i first visited the department stores in singapore , when Tej was a baby, I had a jolt of a shocker when i mentally noted all the baby foods available :-starting with formula milk, baby purees, baby nibbling biscuits , cereals , snacks...the list is endless !! Some mommies would suggest doing everything fresh at home, so as to ensure the best for their babies. However, there were these amazing bottle foods i fed for both my babies...from Heinz and Gerber.Trust me,they are both healthy and definitely time-saving. Of course,as kids grow ,so do their food habits.Their tastes evolve, the junk food (all the sugary stuff,all the fried things... ) slowly creep into their taste buds , and frustratingly, they would find them much better than the actual "Taste-less,healthy" diet ..to name a few, veggies ,milk et al. However, its the basic challenge every mom faces in her daily life to ensure that the kids get the proper diet .Come on, once in a while...their sugary tantrums are acceptable. The rest ?? You are the better judge !

-> Diapers :
Another important item which always seems to be on our shopping list !! Diapers. Definitely, as i told you earlier , i cannot imagine a day without them. It's just not worth it until the baby is ready with his tell-tale signs of toilet training! And the brand i use ? Huggies !! And accompanying the diapers are always the diaper cream (to avoid that ooh-so bad diaper rash )& the wet-wipes. You need to be a parent to actually understand how many tons of wipes you actually use for ur kid from his infancy through his toddlerhood.While the figures are mind-staggering...its another must-have in your diaper bag !

-> Clothes :
I would always have this complaint of not getting to shop all the lacy and pretty pink stuff....having both sons. However , as mentioned earlier, my husband being a shopaholic he is ...and not to mention, the sharp dress-sense inbuilt within him...we ensure that the kids are always in their smartest outfits. Its actually surprising for us to see our kids wardrobe presently teeming with tees and shorts and pants.,in denims,cottons,sports wear...u name it !! My younger one, who has just turned 2..is already so dress-conscious...wouldnt wear shorts while my older one is wearing his pants . This generation kids , i tell you!! They are so self-decisive...that clothes are the first issue you have to give in to them. The rest of the things follow !! hehe.

-> Toys :

I know , this has to top the list . But ,you don't need to actually shop for them.Once you have kids, people forget that you can also accept gifts....only the kids get them !! hehe... Presently, our home is just dumped up with zillion of toys of all variety.Stuffed dolls adorning the kids beds, tons of toddler books pouring out of the shelves , craziest puzzles creeping out of the bins, the toy-room is just a crazy maze full of utter chaos.But of course, i make it a point to the kids to clean-up the entire chaos by the end of the day ..or else , its going to drive me nuts !

-> The latest gadgets :

You must be wondering about what latest gadgets to shop for the kids ! As the new millennium kids, these little wonder-people have all the knowledge about the latest gizmos too. There are varieties of educational toys, all being software-programmed ! With just a click or a tap , the latest toy-gizmos (as i call them) spring into life and provide a very good source of edu-fun for the "Little Einsteins" . Of course,not to mention , the various DVDs , educational CDs and the Leapfrog systems have slowly become a major part of our life. Since its only for their better, i welcomed them with open arms ...no, with an open mind !

Well, so ...after reading this ...you must have had a fair idea as to why our middle name has been changed to "over-budget" ...hehe... Hmm...well, everything has its own fair share of pros with the child development.So , nothing can be avoided.After all, what has money got to do if we dont spend it on our little ones ?? Isnt it , mommies and daddies ??? I know, its a 100 % YES .

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Activities ...the typical routine

As a mother of two active toddlers, sometimes hyper(no exaggeration), sometimes angelic (maybe, am really exaggerating..hehe) ...I know how busy my life can get. Trust me, the entire day is revolved with so many activities that I sometimes really forget what day it is and how important that particular date is (my friends and relatives are a living example to this, when i keep forgetting their anniversaries or birthdays and then blame it on these kiddos). All the days are typically the same, with the same routine thriving in my home. ...atleast thats what it is on the weekdays.Weekends ?? its over to my husband !!

A typical day for me consists of the following activities (necessarily in the same order to maintain my sanity)

-> Wake up,feed milk to the younger one...he's still a baby and yes,still on bottles...dont know when he's gonna leave that...That's another challenge for me to deal with in the near future.


-> Brush their teeth,serve breakfast ....which typically consists of cereal , and sometimes sandwiches ...according to their mood...or mainly..its my mood which decides the menu...hmmm.....

-> Get them to potty , then showers , and then its TV time , their favourite time of the day...because..i think its the best resort for me to entrust them to the idiot box while i happily take my shower . Else, i would be having these 2 crazy kids fighting for the same damn(sorry for the pun) pencil...though there would be some tens of them in the house. I still dont understand why both of them want the same one ?? Come on , give me a break !!

-> Post-mommy shower...its learning-time for the kiddos. Since Tej goes to pre-school and Anuj is still 2....their ways of learning are essentially different...with the same content.I made my task easier by showing them the same object (like an Apple) and asking Tej to write its spelling..while anuj actually gets to know that its an apple by looking at the figure .Hmm..i know...its a lot of work...but yeah..its a lot of fun too....

-> Then, its time for me to prepare lunch .This is the most tricky part,bcoz Anuj wouldn't let me stay by the stove for a long time. This is where sesameworkshop comes into rescue. Luckily, my older one has mastered the art of using the computer in such a suave manner....I dont need to spend any more time with the kids and the computer at the same time....which wasn't the case when Tej was a toddler. Anyway, coming back to the present-day scenario....its computer time for the kids..while i get to prepare their lunches.

-> Earlier, when Anuj was still a baby...this was a challenging time "Lunch time"!! He just wouldnt eat anything solid..and everything had to be blended into one big paste! Well,he's past that stage and touchwood, both the kids are pretty ok with their food habits, save an ocassional tantrum or two...which of course, by now, you must be accustomed too...Hehehe.

-> Then comes the nap-time...oh wait !! its actually the dessert-time : Either a pudding or a fruit juice saves my afternoon definitely.

-> Then, the kids would take a nap....Ohhh ! how i wait for this time ....seriously, this is the actual my-time i get to myself in the entire day...now u must be wondering , how am writing this blog....Bingo...thanks to the afternoon naps of my kids, this blog is really increasing its bounds. The rest of the time , i wouldn't manage to even spell a word properly, let alone writing a whole post!! Huh ....

-> Post-nap is again the milk time for the kiddos...and then the garden-time...They love this time, using the bicycle and the scooter to their maximum extent. Thanks to the weather these days (it's summer here) the kids are definitely enjoying the nature, chasing the poor little kittens and delightfully squealing at the cute pigeons,going back to their mommies. Oh, did i mention that the same routine thrives in winter too....only that we have to be indoors bcoz of the bad weather...and so , yeah...you guessed it right !! I have to pretend to be a pigeon and a kitty cat at the same time .It actually increased my dramatic skills. Hehehe.

-> After the play-time..its snack time...Whew...by this time, you readers must be putting me in the chefs/saints league for preparing food for them relentlessly all the time without complaints. Well...let me make sure..that snacks are definitely coming up from the department store...either in the form of twinkies, or some energy bars...Wait, i need one too by this time !!

-> Then ,yeah...after some dabbling with colors and crayons and some more ABC's...its time to watch some nice videos ...Both of them love bollywood songs..and they provide some pretty decent entertainment (no,its isnt decent..but they are too young to understand that ..heeh)

-> Then, we wrap it up with dinner time.. and then some goofing up with some more toys...and then its finally , Bed-time....combined with milk and a story-book.

Most of the people who read this must be thinking that i have bluffed the routine.But, let me tell you, moms and babies thrive on routine...and that definitely helps us survive the entire day. In fact, I get very cranky if the routine is broke up by any reason. It just doesn't fit my bill !

Of course, come this August ...Tej will start attending his pre-school.So ,should i add more that my routine will just be more systematic...now that i am time-bound too.

Well, didn't i start on saying that my day is typically revolved with so many umpteen activities...its just not possible to list down exactly what the kids do in one complete day. But , yeah...we try to stick on to the routine to the maximum extent possible , which only helps in building up the discipline and the sense of responsibility in them. Not to mention, the various mood-swings and the meltdowns.Hmm....they are also a routine now. You must have understood by now.

Toilet Training

To start with, do watch this link...its not an informational link...but it does contain some good humour.....Watch it to believe me.

Visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXnRuyJZkUw

No !! Moms and Dads....Babies aren't definitely this scary! Its just a humorous commercial to boost up their sales...though i should mention the credibility of that particular brand.

Jokes apart, toilet training is the toughest phase any mom can experience. Hats off to all the moms some 2 decades ago...when using a diaper is something totally alien. I just can't imagine how a mother could have done without a diaper....I would die with the thought itself ! So, until the baby is ready to signal for potty signs....diapers are undoubtedly the best resort. And then, the actual phase of patience evolves....an inevitable phase for all parents.

My first-born was on diapers 24 X 7, until he was 1.5 yrs old. Then one fine day , i resolved to start training him with his toilet routine...as this is the first test and a big step towards the real world! Tej has always been good with this, not to mention he never wet his bed even once since a baby. He's been this very active and alert boy who always used to warn me before-hand about using the toilet and i had very few problems with him. However, this definitely involved visits to the bathroom every half-hour to avoid accidents until the kid got accustomed. Needless to say, my back just ached more and my patience doubled...hehe.

But yeah...when did anyone say that life is simple ? My younger one, who just turned 2 is still contemplating on leaving his diapers. And as a punishment to all the rules i make at home, he would never warn me with the slightest hint too. He would just happily wet his pants and then say "Oops Mama, wettttttt"....(as if i wouldn't know)... I just realised that he is quite different from his brother and would undoubtedly give me a tough time until he is totally on his own. Anyway, when did i say i would give up ? Watch out for me , Anuj !!!

I just don't want to elaborate too much on toilet training ...bcoz no two kids are alike in this phase. Each and every child has their own tell-tale signs of toilet and they will evolve slowly. Only one sound advice to all the mommies who are frustrated with their baby's toilet training....no one has seen an adult with diapers....so everyone's just going to eventually learn .Keep it kewl and don't push it too hard. OK??

Some more humour? Lighten up your mood....
Visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJ-pohByllM

Post-partum blues

Life's been really a rollercoaster of a ride for the past 4 and a change years . As i look back , there are so many bitter-sweet memories , as i continue to raise my 2 little sons.

Lets rewind my life to 2004. The year of my first son...the year of my introduction to motherhood...the year which completely changed my perspective of life .


My first pregnancy has been a dream of sorts...no complications at all , no medical problems too. The only hitch we encountered was that i was carrying a huge baby...way too huge for my height...which only resulted in a Caesaran section operation.

We welcomed Tej on a special leap year date , Feb 29th . The entire family was ecstatic about our little prince's arrival . Daddy dearest was just beside me when i gave birth to my first born...and trust me, I cannot forget that moment for anything in this world.

I have been reading about post-partum blues a lot on the internet and the maternity books...but nothing could have prepared me better than the live baby in my hands....the hands-on experience is something which cannot be derived from books or any other source of medium. Little teju wasnt that little as he had to be.....be it his hunger or his cries . His favourite time of play during the first few months was ...hold ur breath ....nighttime !! By the end of 1 month, i was half-convinced that i wouldnt get anymore of a good night's sleep in my entire lifetime ...thanks to the nocturnal activities of my new-born. And u might be wondering what the activities consisted of ...Well, there were many to name ....crying ,crying and more crying . The "more crying" was from me ,of course.....sometimes breaking down due to the lack of proper sleep. But our dearest little devil (i stopped calling him angel....for a month or so...due to his day-time sleep routine)was relentless with his sleep regime. Life was seeming very tiring for the first 3 months and the dark circles around my eyes only made me feel sad whenever i looked at my image . I just thought i was the only mom in the entire world who is already tired of her baby within 3 months....realizing later that it was a welcome to the world of post-partum depression....which would be overcome soon.

But then , life , as i said ...has been a roller-coaster for me .....I've seen all the lows in the first 3 months....now was the time for some high. Tej slowly started to realize that it wasnt fair on his part to sleep in the daytime and wail down his lungs when the rest of the world is fast asleep. He slowly but surely got the message of proper sleeping patterns. In fact , the first night when he slept off undisturbed for a stretch of 6 hours.... i just couldnt catch my sleep with an elated feeling that he was actually not wailing.It was definitely some kind of achievement .

But that was just a beginning . Teju was slowly becoming to what he was actually born, an angel !! He never troubled with his nocturnal activities in his forthcoming months .....but i have to add that the person who took most advantage of this was his Dad....bcoz teju and me joined my husband in singapore when he was 4 months old . Do i have to say anything else? Lucky chap ...my hubby !! Huh....
Other than the sleep regime...which anyway teju overcame surely...there was very little trouble from the little brat during the first few months . I was slowly getting used to his food habits . My entire day was revolved around sticky bibs , smelly diapers and noisy burps, sterilising the bottles and shopping only for baby food. My entire perspective on shopping changed where we barely managed to spend not more than 15 mins in any shop. Earlier, there used to be hours of window shopping ....but after the baby,...we were taught to be more practical and time-bound.

Our second-born was anyway a pleasant shock for us...to be born as a boy ...when we were expecting a girl all the while . Well, since he belongs to the family anyway ...not breaking the family tradition , Anuj too dutifully followed his elder brother's footsteps...or shall i say "sleepsteps" in an exactly similar fashion . But , since experience helps a person ,..i wasnt entirely shocked with his nighttime anti-sleep routine. The entire family was prepared for the wailing baby during the night. But Anuj wasnt giving us too much trouble as anticipated ...or maybe we just got too much used to it. However , when i went back to my husband with two kids...one being an infant and the other a toddler....life's never been busier.

The entire routine just seemed to get doubled . I read somewhere that "Painting a wall is as good as giving birth to twins...you think its over and then u need to start it all over again !!" Hehehe...and i was exactly feeling the same. Though my kids werent twins...it was as good as that . Thanks to my husband erratic office schedules , I had the entire day with 2 angels(come on, i cant constantly call them "little devils" ....setting a bad example ) and the attention they demand was much too overwhelming.

However , second time is always the easier . I already had a fair idea of the do's and dont's and seemed to relax a bit during times of panic too., very much unlike the first time when i used to run to the doctor even when Teju barely sneezed .

Babies wouldnt give you any time for yourself. No, am not exaggerating. Its just that these little bundles of joy come down to the earth so helplessly....and so full of warmth...you just dont try to find time for yourself.... Your entire focus is the baby. Your entire discussion is the baby. Your entire world is the baby. You suddenly find yourself pushed into the mommies world of playgrounds, nutrition and even the tabboo topic of mothers-in-law....No kidding , sometimes moms get so overwhelmed with the entire thing of motherhood...its only the poor mother-in-law who is the hot topic of discussion among distressed "bahus".... Am i trying to make it a "Baa, Bahoo aur Baby?" hehe... Never mind... ! After all....moms need some entertainment too...whattssay mommies ???

Motherhood has given me a truckload of patience .But yeah...as a human..i do have my highs and lows.....but then..as i started on , Life's a rollercoaster and am definitely enjoying the ride.
So lets say "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!"

Nutrition in Pregnancy

Pregnancy involves a lot of do's and dont's ....the first and foremost being healthy nutrition for the mother ...bcoz thats the most important way to ensure a healthy baby.
I recommend the following links for a more expertise advice on nutrition in pregnancy...coz am a no-doctor !!
Firstly, how to overcome hunger and eat right during pregnancy. Well...this sure is a tough phase where u crave for all the wrong things...but yes, u cant help it...not even a nutritionist who is a know-all . Dont believe?? Read along ....

http://www.parents.com/pregnancy/my-body/nutrition/pregnant-and-hungry/


The second link am posting is the Do's and dont's of foods among pregger ladies . The foods we think are safe ..but arent actually ...and the various myths related ....Everything is listed down here....go ahead and enlighten yourself..you will be in for a surprise .

http://www.parents.com/pregnancy/my-body/nutrition/a-food-guide-for-pregnant-women/

And i need to include the most important tips during pregnancy . This is a must-follow regiment...all u moms-to-be.

http://www.parents.com/pregnancy/my-body/pampering/healthy-pregnancy-tips/


Whats a post without my story ?? hehe....So , just read along to know my personal experience during my pregnancies .

If you have read my "Pregnancy" post...you will know that i conceieved my elder one while i was in college . Though it was a planned one...and though i said i didnt panic even for one moment...i was always confused about what to eat and what not to. The first trimester was a dream .No nausea, no vomitings...in fact , i had to leave my front door at 8.30 am daily to attend college....and not once, i had felt nauseous or sick . I had a very active lifestyle and wasn't showing up much . My friends were just fascinated with the news but my mom was a bit worried about my nutrition coz of my odd hours during the college .I had a wonderful doctor seeing me every month and things were going smoothly until the second trimester.I had no special cravings, no weird mood-swings...no sweet tooth too. I had gained a decent 10 kgs by the end of the second trimester and i was getting a feeling of exhilaration that i didnt change a bit despite my pregnancy and was betting that i would go back to my college jeans soon after my delivery.Hmmm...Life's not that easy ,after all. Since i had taken leave for my last semester from college....all i had to do at home was to eat properly (my mom was already panicking about me not showing as expected) and watch TV . That was it !!....The next visit to my doctor shook everyone up ....coz i had gained an abnormal weight of 5 kgs within 2 weeks. And there was no stopping to that . By Feb 29th....the day teju was born...i was 85kgs (gaining 28 kgs altogether...mind boggling ...isnt it ??) Tej was born a healthy baby weighing almost 4kgs....but the rest of the weight had to be dealt by me . And trust me , it wasnt easy for me to shed all of that . It took almost 18 months for me to come back to normalcy .

But as i said ,...life's not that easy !! One moment , i find myself slowly fitting into my old clothes and the next moment i find myself preggers the second time . Whooooa !!!
This time , since we were expecting a girl ....everything seemed different from the first time . I had severe nausea , couldnt eat anything and found everything revolting...even my husband .Poor him !! ....I couldnt manage anything on my own, leave alone little Teju who was just about 18 mths old . My mommy dearest , as usual , came to my rescue .But this time, i put my foot down and didnt relent on her food regime . I gained a respectable 7kgs the first 5 months ....but little did i know what was in store for me in the coming months. The last trimester was an altogether a different one . Me being a vegetarian , i had this sudden craving for sea-food .Do u believe that ??? well, neither did my staunch orthodox brahmin parents !!
Luckily , there was this awesome restaurant in my hometown which served fresh non-veggie food. The moment i found this place , it was a haven for all my food cravings . And needless to say, I gained another 12 kgs....altogether putting me again in the 80kgs league . My second son was born a healthy child too..weighing 3.5 kgs...leaving the rest to me .

However ..this is just my story....and i know its not at all inspirational... i wouldnt want anyone to think highly of my abnormal weight gain too....bcoz only i knew how i struggled to get back to my normal weight range . However , i think if i had followed the links which i posted above..my struggle would have been easier fought . Anyway,, all the best ..u future moms. Dont do what i did !!!