Sunday, November 16, 2008

How soon ?

Today, as I sit in my new apartment, a gleaming one with a cozier look and feel and enjoying the newest addition in my home, an LCD television.... I suddenly went through a phase every parent faces... the embarassing situation when you watch something on TV and realize that it's too late to switch the channel off when you see the look on your kid's face !!

I was having this rare time for myself, lazing around in the weekend watching an English movie(which was based on a true story) .... Frankly, I knew the story involved adultery, fraud and sex ... but since it was a late night one, I took a chance with the kids, only to realize the folly !! My elder one was just poking his nose around in the living room, trying to sneak in what particular movie he was asked to avoid !! I have to mention here that my first-born, who is turning 5 in three months time, is a fuzzy-logic kind of a kid with questions teeming constantly in his little brain. All his emotions, be it fear, excitement or a surprise are equally met with his constant-evolving brain. He makes sure he gets the answer for all his questions, and sometimes they tend to be a bit embarrassing.

You don't need to be a brain surgeon to understand the differences between raising a kid in the present day and in the past. Technology has advanced to such an extent, that sometimes it's just scary. All the information anyone needs is just a click away. Exposing your child to the computer has both it's pros and cons. For instance, on the other day, my kids were watching these Telugu nursery rhymes on youtube, and after a while, I caught my elder one opening another video altogether accidentally. ( his browsing skills are a bit amazing for a 4 yr old) . This made me realize the importance of my presence, while the kiddos browse around. But then, how often can I be with them ?? Will my presence only intimidate them as they grow, and turn out to be a hindrance for them to share what they want... instead of them sharing some intimate doubts with me??

Sometime ago, I actually watched an Oprah Winfrey show, where a famous gay footballer admitted his sexuality in the public. When asked by an elderly, seemingly conservative senior lady, about when he knew that he wasn't straight, his answer was a shocking one... He was just 5 yrs old when he knew he was gay !!
I just couldn't buy that, nor could any one of the spectators,....but why would that famous man lie anyway ??
The question now is, how soon is a present-day kid gaining knowledge about the taboo topic of sex ?? Is it OK for a school-going kid to get sex education soon enough? And when is it soon enough ?? As a parent of two sons, these questions sometimes drive me crazy !

Common knowledge is that raising a kid itself is a task, but sometimes I realize that having a girl is a more responsible thing. Not that I can just leave my sons in their own wayward way, but a girl makes you stay on your toes all day long, and am sure all the girl-child mommies might be nodding at this !!
I have a cousin who has a pre-teen daughter. She was relating an incident which was definitely a bit shocking to me. Her daughter had a slumber party for her 8th birthday, and one friend of hers was saying "Girl rule, Boys drool !!" ... Come on, give me a break ! This kid is just 8 years old, and she knows that boys drool ?? What does that mean to her little brain ?? Did she actually know the meaning or was she just mouthing those words she might have heard from someone older? She must be having the answer anyway, but it really haunts me until now. Well, frankly... how many of our generation people knew about boys drooling about the fairer sex ? Not until your teens atleast, but yeah,... the gen next kids are definitely something.

Coming back to the movie I was watching, there was this scene when the girl goes around in a slinky dress. My elder one, who is usually brimming with questions, just looked at me with a knowing look. The look on his face actually made me sleepless, which is why am writing this post at 2am on a weekend night. Why didn't he ask me anything ? What was going on his mind ? Maybe, am thinking too much. Or maybe, it's time I revisit my actions. I am not exactly saying that I would like my son to be illiterate about sex. It's an entirely natural process, which is definitely inevitable. But, I wouldn't like it to be this soon.

My contribution towards his worldly knowledge should be unbiased, and I would like to envision a future with a teenager trying to be super-cool with his mom,(whatever that means, hehe) instead of those awkward mom-kid situations. But yeah, am yet to fix the right time, where I can actually watch even my favourite serial (FRIENDS) with my sons not giving me that menaceful glance.

1 comment:

shanti said...

Hey Shanthi... I like this post ree... the concern that keeps bothering me too very often, but yeah... just let go... shall tell you something very funny when we talk, not to forget mention it !!! keep going !!