Post-partum blues

Life's been really a rollercoaster of a ride for the past 4 and a change years . As i look back , there are so many bitter-sweet memories , as i continue to raise my 2 little sons.

Lets rewind my life to 2004. The year of my first son...the year of my introduction to motherhood...the year which completely changed my perspective of life .


My first pregnancy has been a dream of sorts...no complications at all , no medical problems too. The only hitch we encountered was that i was carrying a huge baby...way too huge for my height...which only resulted in a Caesaran section operation.

We welcomed Tej on a special leap year date , Feb 29th . The entire family was ecstatic about our little prince's arrival . Daddy dearest was just beside me when i gave birth to my first born...and trust me, I cannot forget that moment for anything in this world.

I have been reading about post-partum blues a lot on the internet and the maternity books...but nothing could have prepared me better than the live baby in my hands....the hands-on experience is something which cannot be derived from books or any other source of medium. Little teju wasnt that little as he had to be.....be it his hunger or his cries . His favourite time of play during the first few months was ...hold ur breath ....nighttime !! By the end of 1 month, i was half-convinced that i wouldnt get anymore of a good night's sleep in my entire lifetime ...thanks to the nocturnal activities of my new-born. And u might be wondering what the activities consisted of ...Well, there were many to name ....crying ,crying and more crying . The "more crying" was from me ,of course.....sometimes breaking down due to the lack of proper sleep. But our dearest little devil (i stopped calling him angel....for a month or so...due to his day-time sleep routine)was relentless with his sleep regime. Life was seeming very tiring for the first 3 months and the dark circles around my eyes only made me feel sad whenever i looked at my image . I just thought i was the only mom in the entire world who is already tired of her baby within 3 months....realizing later that it was a welcome to the world of post-partum depression....which would be overcome soon.

But then , life , as i said ...has been a roller-coaster for me .....I've seen all the lows in the first 3 months....now was the time for some high. Tej slowly started to realize that it wasnt fair on his part to sleep in the daytime and wail down his lungs when the rest of the world is fast asleep. He slowly but surely got the message of proper sleeping patterns. In fact , the first night when he slept off undisturbed for a stretch of 6 hours.... i just couldnt catch my sleep with an elated feeling that he was actually not wailing.It was definitely some kind of achievement .

But that was just a beginning . Teju was slowly becoming to what he was actually born, an angel !! He never troubled with his nocturnal activities in his forthcoming months .....but i have to add that the person who took most advantage of this was his Dad....bcoz teju and me joined my husband in singapore when he was 4 months old . Do i have to say anything else? Lucky chap ...my hubby !! Huh....
Other than the sleep regime...which anyway teju overcame surely...there was very little trouble from the little brat during the first few months . I was slowly getting used to his food habits . My entire day was revolved around sticky bibs , smelly diapers and noisy burps, sterilising the bottles and shopping only for baby food. My entire perspective on shopping changed where we barely managed to spend not more than 15 mins in any shop. Earlier, there used to be hours of window shopping ....but after the baby,...we were taught to be more practical and time-bound.

Our second-born was anyway a pleasant shock for us...to be born as a boy ...when we were expecting a girl all the while . Well, since he belongs to the family anyway ...not breaking the family tradition , Anuj too dutifully followed his elder brother's footsteps...or shall i say "sleepsteps" in an exactly similar fashion . But , since experience helps a person ,..i wasnt entirely shocked with his nighttime anti-sleep routine. The entire family was prepared for the wailing baby during the night. But Anuj wasnt giving us too much trouble as anticipated ...or maybe we just got too much used to it. However , when i went back to my husband with two kids...one being an infant and the other a toddler....life's never been busier.

The entire routine just seemed to get doubled . I read somewhere that "Painting a wall is as good as giving birth to twins...you think its over and then u need to start it all over again !!" Hehehe...and i was exactly feeling the same. Though my kids werent twins...it was as good as that . Thanks to my husband erratic office schedules , I had the entire day with 2 angels(come on, i cant constantly call them "little devils" ....setting a bad example ) and the attention they demand was much too overwhelming.

However , second time is always the easier . I already had a fair idea of the do's and dont's and seemed to relax a bit during times of panic too., very much unlike the first time when i used to run to the doctor even when Teju barely sneezed .

Babies wouldnt give you any time for yourself. No, am not exaggerating. Its just that these little bundles of joy come down to the earth so helplessly....and so full of warmth...you just dont try to find time for yourself.... Your entire focus is the baby. Your entire discussion is the baby. Your entire world is the baby. You suddenly find yourself pushed into the mommies world of playgrounds, nutrition and even the tabboo topic of mothers-in-law....No kidding , sometimes moms get so overwhelmed with the entire thing of motherhood...its only the poor mother-in-law who is the hot topic of discussion among distressed "bahus".... Am i trying to make it a "Baa, Bahoo aur Baby?" hehe... Never mind... ! After all....moms need some entertainment too...whattssay mommies ???

Motherhood has given me a truckload of patience .But yeah...as a human..i do have my highs and lows.....but then..as i started on , Life's a rollercoaster and am definitely enjoying the ride.
So lets say "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!"