Time-outs

Managing kids and their tantrums seem to be one of the most inevitable jobs for mommies.My house and life is presently revolved around a toddler and a pre-schooler. You can imagine the rest of their tantrums.

As I grew up an indian kid, where spanking a child is a must-have routine in the parents' To-do diary, my younger brother and I were raised by a typical Leo mom. Here we go with my sun-signs madness ......I was a fervent reader of Linda Goodman's sunsigns while in college...and have to admit that my mom fitted exactly Linda's description of a typical Leo - Fierce , protective, relentless..to name a few !

My younger brother, whom I fondly call "Tamu" (younger bro in Telugu)...had always been this typical male-child toddler....always fiddling with GIJoes and those fake guns. His favourite passtime was to lose things in school every single day. Now, even an ultra-cool cucumber mom would go mad about it. So, do i need to say anymore about our Mommy lioness?? But, the bonus feature with my brother involved was that I was also subjected to the same spanking routine as he was, though there wasn't too much fault of mine As if I would feel bad for not sharing them with him. We, as kids, had a very strict regime and sometimes used to feel that we are actually living in a millitary school. Do i need to say that my mom was a strict follower of "Spare the rod and spoil the child" idiom ?

As i look back, I can't help smiling at all those hilarious incidents...Yeah, they seem funny now, because now its my turn to actually decide whether to spare the rod or to spoil my sons!

Every single day, when i continue to raise my little sons, I think of my mom and salute her! No exaggeration. Mommy used to say to me "You wouldnt know my value until you became a mom". How very much true! There were umpteen number of days when I used to feel the pressure of her strict upbringing a bit too much. But, in retrospection, I only realize that it was only for our own good.

Getting nostalgic, I would like to relate an incident during my childhood which made an indelible mark in my heart.

I was in my 5th std or so, when mom asked me to pay the school fees on my own. Normally, she would do it, but she just wanted to me start feeling responsibile maybe. So, here I go paying my school fees for the first time ever...saving a meagre amount of Rs.5(10 Cents). As my mom was expecting, I had to go and return that money to her when i went back home. But, since it was the first time i had some money on my own, I just went and indulged myself in a candy shower along with a friend. Buying wasn't an issue for mom, but the trouble started when I lied to her saying that the entire money she gave went for the fees. Little did i know that i couldnt cheat my mom so easily. I still remember spending a couple of hours in the dark, dingy bathroom that night, when my lie was found out. No slap, no beating, just a mere gesture to stay in the dark, despite mom knowing that am petrified of the dark. Doesn't it remind some of you mommies of the present-day timeouts?? Yeah, that's how my mom handled our misbehaviour. That incident just led me stay honest for the rest of my childhood, partly because I knew it wasn't worth scaring myself in the dark for such a small lie!

This was just one small example - Moral being, hatsoff to our parents for dealing with our tantrums so tactfully and wonderfully that we still remember these little incidents .

The years rolled by and i should add that my teenage was the breeziest stage for my mother. Then followed my marriage and my motherhood.

Currently residing in the US, spanking is an alien word for both the parents and the kiddos. When we were residing in Asia, weird stories about "how kindergarteners are asked to call 911 if their parents scold " were heard a lot in the mommies world. I was very skeptical and apprehensive about settling down in the US , partly for this reason. Not that i derive some sort of happiness if I spank my kids, but since I was brought up in the utmost disciplinarian way, I had my own doubts about handling my own kids.

Time-outs are definitely an effective way of handling a child's tantrum. The meltdowns and the temper tantrums are a daily routine in the life of a toddler. You need to be a parent to believe and endure it. On a lighter side , a cousin of mine had a daughter while I was still in my teens. I used to love playing with the little angel and used to adore her a lot. Once when i commented on how cute her girl was, my cousin just retorted saying " Wait till you get yours !! " ...hehe..maybe, that was just her bad day after all.

But, since the entire day is spent with them, it tends to get frustrating at times. And more so, when the child throws a tantrum. It could be a reasonable one or just cropping out from the blue. The typical toddler could be a real handful. And speaking of my toddler ?? He is a typical Leo !! Yeah ,yeah...back to the good old sunsigns...but i just can't help it when my life is dominated by two of the fierce sunsigners. Huh !!!

My older one is one calm guy. He isn't your typical boy who loves to play with guns or action figures. His favourite toys include books, puzzles etc. Having said that, he isn't an exception to the tantrum syndrome. He just throws a fit of temper when his puzzles arent properly being set or when my younger one naughtily tears off the pages from his favourite books. Life really gets to the hilt of frustration when both the kids are screaming their lungs out for the same book or a pencil. Solution ?? Yeah, its the time-outs which save my day. In fact, my kids do know that I would put them for a while in the patio or a corner in the living room, if they tend to get over-naughty! In fact, I would be lying if i said i never hit them when they tend to get overboard. But, I just realized that the spanking would act as a catalyst to their meltdown and they would cry even more as you would hit them. It's only through peaceful means we can ensure to regain peace in the household. Millitary backup ?? Naaa, it only worked for my mom..and it was India !

Here, I definitely am sparing the rod. ....but my eyes seem to be working for them as powerful weapons...so I ensure that they are not really spoilt !!