Thursday, March 11, 2010

Happy parenting

It’s been always my mind, and my words… This time, let me mouth some expert’s advice on parenting.

The last weekend, we had an eminent child psychologist visiting our kid’s playschool. The session was supposed to be one hour, but it slowly and unknowingly scrambled to another extra couple of hours. But no one seemed to mind. The young parents were brimming with questions, while the ever-smiling doctor had an answer for everyone. It was one refreshing Saturday afternoon for all those who attended the session.

Let me get to those important points I would like to share with all my readers. You might know some of them already, but no harm in warming up :)

• As young parents of just-borns and infants, there were some interesting feeds I got from the doctor

1. Make sure you introduce curds/yogurt to the infant before he/she is 10 months old. If you didn’t do so, chances are that your kid will never touch it in his entire life.

2. Never leave an infant unattended. If the baby is crying, and you leave him, there is every possibility that even a 45 day old might feel neglected. And you thought they wouldn’t understand ??

3. Every baby is special. Am not trying to sound like Aamir khan here, but yes, every child has got his/her own milestones to cover, and they would do it in their own, unique way. Never, ever compare your baby with someone else’s. Insecurities aren’t really worth when you have your baby’s precious moments to be delighted in.

• Parents of “toddlers who have just started attending playschools” had almost a very similar predicament in their minds. Their kids bite. Not just their nails, but the other kids. The doctor was smiling away, and said that until it may not be too physical and violent, this biting gesture can be interpreted as mere excitement. A toddler, who has been in his confined quarters of his safe haven, has started exploring the outside world, through these playschools. And the presence of people of his same size doubles his excitement… and funnily, or sadly, some kids express it through biting. Remember, some of the grandparents bite the little one’s fingers out of excess love. So, if it’s running in the family, don’t blame just the little one .

• Another hot topic was “sibling rivalry”, with me being a conspicuous victim. Well, it’s a clichéd one, but the doctor just said to be conscious of not showing favor to just one of your kids. Learn to appreciate when the siblings have been coloring, or sharing or having fun together, even if it’s for just a few minutes. And start ignoring their fights. You don’t need to listen to all their complaints, though you should not put a deaf ear to their squabbles. It’s just that you pretend that you are no longer interested in their fights, and it would reasonably reduce their petty fist-fights. Remember, kids just want your attention, and they do it either by crying or making others cry. If they understand that the parent is no longer interested, they wouldn’t even bother!!

• School –going kids face another major hurdle. Bullying !! When in the school bus, there are more chances of being bullied by older kids, and that was one bone of contention during our session.
While some parents advocated self-defence, the doctor was totally against it. She asked to discourage any kind of non-verbal violence. I couldn’t totally agree to it, because self-defence might even be due to instigation. But then, opinions do differ from person to person.

• There was one more point to be adhered to parents who have latch-key kids. New term? Well, that’s what kids who have the keys to house are called. With increasing competition, and with both the parents sweating their energy out in their respective careers, there are some seldom cases of having no choice, except to give the house keys to the kids, and for them to manage all on their own, until the parents are back home. A shocking incident of a 14 yr old, who attempted suicide due to full-blown depression, really shook our hearts. And while the doctor dug into his past, his childhood was a complete independent one, right from being a latch-key kid to having a television in his own room. The communication channel between him and the adults withered down through the years, and his studies affected. This resulted in depression, followed by an attempt to end himself. And he did that by consuming all the tablets existing in the house. Well, it’s not surprising that he helped to medication by himself whenever he got sick, because the parents were a “bit” busy. A sad yet a thought-provoking incident. While am not against working moms, all I can suggest is that kids should always be under adult supervision, be it grandparents or even reliable maids. But remember, no one can beat parent’s attention.

• There were even more points to be noted and shared…but if I did that, it would be no less than a short epic. So, maybe I would come down with another post, continuing to share more about parenting myths and woes.


And with so many enlightening things on parenting, there was just one suggestion which stayed in my heart for a long time.
Don’t rush your kid’s childhood.
Don’t be in a hurry to raise your kids.
How true !!

Revel in those precious moments, and life’s really as good as a baby’s priceless smile.

Happy parenting !!!

4 comments:

lafemmereva said...

superb post shanthi....although i dont have a kid, I have a nephew that I am close to so I can totally relate to what you have said here!

Shanthiprasadh said...

@lafemmereva: thanks reva... yeah, kids are a real handful..but lemme know if u still have the same opinion when u become a mom urself...i meant the cuteness factor :P

Unknown said...

Absolutely Shanti. I have done baby sitting before and seen my fri's kids and all you said is so true. It may be different though when i myself have kids, i mean a different feeling

CriSha said...

Nice post as usual... i was latch-key kid n i turned out well,,,, offcourse mom n dad were close though... it just provoked my memories...