Raising a child in the present, competitive world is a great challenge to any parent. Trying to put up with their tantrums, giving into their whims and fancies, adjusting to the next generation lingo, trying to bridge the gap between the generations, everything is a major task for a responsible parent.
I've seen many parents complaining about their kids in several different ways. They just don't eat right, they just don't sleep in the entire night, they don't listen to my words! The list is endless. Am not trying to be sattirical here, but don't we know that kids are a bundle of contradictions ? And most importantly, if we realize that our parents too have faced the same situation with us years ago, I think the level of frustration will remarkably go down in any parent. After all, it's the genes which is running in the blood, and their behaviour is nothing but a mirror reflection of ours.
Of course, there isn't a problem in this world without a solution. We just need to find that magic key to the problem, and life will be definitely easier. Am not trying to imply that I have the most angelic kids in the entire world. No one would believe it too. So, it isn't worth a try.... but, what I am trying to explain here are the little solutions I thought would make a mom's world happier. Read on.
---------> The day kick starts with the waking-up routine. The morning-time battles are best known to mothers who have school-going kids.
One great solution to avoid sleepy mornings is to tuck in the kids early in the night. And it should be developed as a habit. No exceptions to it in the weekdays.(If possible, for the weekends too). When the kids have their right amount of sleep according to their age, morning times wouldn't be a big struggle for both moms and kids.
---------> As a mom of a two and four year old, I know how irritating a child gets during the tooth-brush time. Kids under 4 yrs of age don't tend to co-operate with their brush routine, when ironically, their teeth should be the most-cared for, because of all the sugary stuff they eat through the entire day.
One nice solution is to count their teeth slowly while brushing, or sing a song of ABC's. Their mind will distract off their hatred towards toothbrush. Try it !
---------> Breakfast should be never be skipped for a kid.
Keep it light with a cereal or a single pancake or even a fruit.... if you are skeptical about his lunchtime. But yeah, when a kid skips his breakfast, he gets crankier and tends to give more trouble during lunch. So, its better he starts developing the habit of having more meals instead of just munching it once.
-----> A mother trying to feed a wailing baby tied to a high chair would be a very common sight in many homes.
A high chair is definitely a good idea, with table manners and discipline instilling in the kid pretty soon. But if the kid is unmanageable, it's better to give in to his routine and let him wander for a while, before he comes back to another morsel of food. If a mom is more keen on the amount of food going into the child's tummy than the food lying on the carpet, then the high chair can go in for a toss. Trust me, the kid can be diverted in some sort of a manner,....be it the TV or a fun educational website.
--------> Are you worried that your little one isn't having his right dosage of vegetables and fruits every day ? There's a solution ! Substitute the fruits with juices, and try to mash veggies into a lentil soup. Your kid doesn't need to know what he's eating, and you can be happy as long as the required thing goes into him. If he has a sweet tooth, try blending the mashed veggies with sweetened yogurt. It would serve as a great dessert and no kid would leave it.
---------> I think most of the moms would smile at this topic. The inevitable NO ! Which kid doesn't say no to anything we suggest? Atleast, it's my kids' favourite word.
NO to switch off TV,
NO to being quiet, NO to clean-up,
NO for everything.
Thanks to my elder son, my younger one follows suit. Of course, I do have the right key in my hand, for all their NOs. My elder one, being close to 5 years old now, is the better judge of the two among my kids. He understands my mood in a very subtle way too. He knows that I hate the word "NO", and so, though it invariably comes from his mouth, he realizes immediately how serious I am with my glaring eyes. Of course, time-outs are another remedy for the temper tantrums in my house. And more so, I realized another effective way of avoiding their "NO's" is to get them in a funny or silly mood, with them listening to any word of mine. They tend to listen more to me when I am friendly, than when I show my 'Hitler' attitude. So, what's there to lose? No one's ego!
--------> A common problem in any kids household is the unending clutter, in the form of toys, books, clothes,etc. Modern-day parents tend to go overboard with their kids, buying everything and anything a child points out to. True, a child is an apple of a parent's eye. But, in the process of buying all the unnecessary stuff, a house will be just changed to a sad dumpyard, instead of a lively children's home. My house is also not too much different. We have umpteen number of toys, tons of books, pencils, crayons and all the crazy stuff.
But my solution to getting organized ? To dump the clutter as soon as possible. I tend to sort out all the unused toys and clothes almost every month, and would give them to charity. I tend to recycle all the paper-work as soon as possible, especially the meaningless crayon scribbles.
And of course, teaching the kids to clean-up as soon as the play ends. Thats the most important part! As a rule, I don't allow toys in any other room in my house, other than the kids room. Let it be a mess until they play...After all, it's their world. I let them indulge in their crayons, puzzles and whatever they like. But the fun is confined to that room only. That being said, I find the rest of my house toy-free and more organized.
--------> As a mom, I know how little time you get to yourself, especially taking care of your health and beauty. But, one important point to be noted is that our health is very vital so as to take proper care for our little ones. One should never neglect oneself. Well, am literally working on it.(I still need to be reminded of the daily Iron intake for my anaemic problem).
That being said, a kid and his tantrums are best understood by his parents alone. It's upto you to decide to get the best out of him, in your own little way, thus ensuring a more disciplined kid and an even more happier home.
Happy Organizing !
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Dispelling some myths
Whenever I encounter some to-be mommies, I just smile at the uncanny similarities amongst all the women. The anxieties about eating right, the worries about mommys tummies, the anticipation about the new-born, the loads of shopping for them, all of them are literally so common among the pregger ladies that it only brings a smile on my lips, with me facing a similar phase some 4 years ago.
----->When I became pregnant for the first time, I was very ecstatic and worried for a little while too, with me being in my final year of engineering, and having serious doubts on coping up studies along with pregnancy. Though it was a planned pregnancy, nothing could prepare me than the live experience of having a live organism inside me, growing by leaps and bounds with each passing day.
Myth : Coping both motherhood and college is a tough task
Truth : It's tougher than you think. I remember taking all the steps to my second-storied computer lab in college, while I was 5 months pregnant ! Trust me, I just craved for an elevator, or worse, I was just craving for a long leave from college.
-----> My elder son was definitely a very active baby, right since he was in my womb. As the third trimester approached, my doctor told me about the constant kicks a baby would give, reminding the mom that it's either hungry or might be even just playing inside their haven. But what she didn't tell me was that it was a constant process, a 24X7 schedule my baby planned for me. My doctor thought that I was exaggerating when I told her that my baby just wouldn't stop kicking from inside the whole day. She just rolled her eyes saying "An active baby !" ...while I found myself rolling on the bed the entire night, almost getting insomnic.
Myth : Doctors know it all !
Truth : Well, undoubtedly... I had the best doctor attending me, who was just a call away to answer all my weird questions even in the middle of the night. But, the second time, when my Singapore doctor confirmed it twice that it's a baby girl in my womb, I had my shopping bills piled upto Rs.7000, only for the new-born. I think that doc still owes me that money with me giving birth to a boy.....hehehe
-----> My first pregnancy was definitely a memorable one, with me putting on 28 kgs altogether in the entire 9 months. Blame it my ignorance, or blame my mom's utter pamper, I was always hungry and devoured all the tasty ( read fatty ) dishes, which my mom used to dish out as soon as I craved for them. I couldn't actually decide when to stop, and needless to say, I had very tough time in shedding all that baby weight.
Myth : You need to eat double your intake, because of another life in you.
Truth : You definitely don't need the double intake. It's just gonna make you double the size, that's it ! The baby definitely requires extra nutrients, which can be replenished with healthy diet, including veggies, fruits, and milk. Low-fat is best recommended and is also enough. Moms don't need to consume FATS in order for the baby to be healthy.
------> With a heavy baby inside, and me turning to be heavier than expected, my activities were just cut down to watching TV and eating. I know, am setting a bad example.... but this was only the first time ( when I had all the time for myself... with me taking a long leave from college through my last semester). I didn't hear anything about pre-natal yoga or anything for that matter. I was just busy watching my favourite saas-bahu serials on Star Plus. The second time was definitely a hectic one, with me managing my toddler and cooking and doing all the household chores until my third trimester.
Myth : You should not strain yourself. Rest is very important for a to-be-mother.
Truth : Of course, no one advices you to strain yourself when you are pregnant. But of course, many girls assume it as a great vacation, pampering themselves with excess food and very little activity. Don't be angry with me, because I did the same thing,
and now me advising not to pamper yourselves. I am just trying to say that it's always better to be health-conscious than behave as if getting pregnant is the only excuse for eating relentlessly. Enroll yourselves in pre-natal yoga, it's a definite remedy for a mom to be in shape post-delivery. ( If not me, I have a friend as a living proof ! So trust me )
----->After the baby ( I delivered through a C-section), all the elders amongst my friends and family kept visiting me and loading me with their own-versions of mommyhood advice. I was so overwhelmed with the entire thing of nighttime feeding, diaper changing, and the constant wailing of my child, that I found the other people's advices to be just throwing me more into a soup. I just couldn't stand anyone telling me anything, be it good or bad. I mean, no one actually gave me bad advice....but the blues definitely hit me hard, and I just wanted to flee somewhere ! (for a while, of course)
Myth : Listening to old wives tales will help you and your baby.
Truth : Sorry, but I wasn't ready for them. I had my own versions of anti-advices for all the advices offered. I was trying to be logical, and I don't see why a new mommy should devour atleast 2kg of "Desi ghee" within a month !! I mean, please....a woman should atleast judge what's wrong and what's not... not relenting to any grandmom's tales.
----->When I joined my husband in Singapore ( my older one was now 3 months), my mom accompanied me as a gesture to help me with my first-time motherhood. Though she was scheduled to be for atleast 3 months, she had to pack bags within a month, with my utterly-dependant dad finding it extremely difficult to manage anything for himself. I still remember the day, when we dropped off my mom at the airport and came home with trembling hands, because I wasn't even good with diaper changing. I literally wept in my husband's arms, with a gushing flow of anger and fear. The first bath i gave to my infant was definitely a memorable one, with me learning a great lesson in life. You can do anything !
Myth : Handling an infant, doing all the motherly chores can't be done alone.
Truth : An exterior help is always welcome, but if that's not possible, moms need not panic. Just take it slow and easy, and remember "Nothing's the end of the world ! " Your baby is going to follow your routine, not someone else's. So, its upto to decide the way you raise him.
------> With months rolling by, and my first-born slowly turning into a strong toddler, I was getting worried with each milestone. Be it the first tooth, the first crawl, the first steps, the first words... everything were recorded on the video and I found immense joy in sharing them with my friends too. When he didn't crawl until 9 months, I was worried. When he didn't call me "Mama" until 18 months, I was worried. In fact, I kept pestering my husband to visit a speech therapist for my son too. Now putting up with his non-stop chatter, my hubby jokingly asks me if I still wanted to go to the doctor.
Myth : Will my baby ever crawl or respond like that kid ? ? Will he speak like his pal ?
Truth : Any child (unless there's a serious problem) would definitely cover his milestones within his own body limits. Never push a baby too hard. And most importantly, never compare a child with other kids. Every child is unique !!
-------> After my first-born started preschool, I had lots of complaints about his wandering off from the group activities, and about his short attention spans. I was beginning to worry about the constant complaints from his teachers about his non-social activities. Well, he was just 3 years old then, and I didn't entirely realize that a three-year old tends to involve in parallel play, and has very little to do with the other kids. By the time I realized this, my older one already began to like school, and the complaints got lesser. Now, he is one of the best kids in school. No kidding !
Myth : My kid is not very social... will he ever get along with other kids ??
Truth : A kid's mentality is his very own ! Nothing can actually change that. It's his own identity and parents should encourage the kids to be friendly, but never push them to be more than they can actually do. It just curls them inwards. Of course, involving preschoolers in group activities might tend to help them overcome the anxiety and fear of handling the outer world. It's all in a parent's jurisdiction !
Actually, its only the first time a to-be-mom would have so many doubts and worries in her mind, while the baby inside is ready to come into this world. The second time is definitely a lot easier and the mother actually matures in her mind, and handling a baby is definitely easier, if not a breeze !
Just dispel all the myths in your minds. Trust me, in a mommy's world... the reality is not really harsh ! Face it ... Enjoy It !
----->When I became pregnant for the first time, I was very ecstatic and worried for a little while too, with me being in my final year of engineering, and having serious doubts on coping up studies along with pregnancy. Though it was a planned pregnancy, nothing could prepare me than the live experience of having a live organism inside me, growing by leaps and bounds with each passing day.
Myth : Coping both motherhood and college is a tough task
Truth : It's tougher than you think. I remember taking all the steps to my second-storied computer lab in college, while I was 5 months pregnant ! Trust me, I just craved for an elevator, or worse, I was just craving for a long leave from college.
-----> My elder son was definitely a very active baby, right since he was in my womb. As the third trimester approached, my doctor told me about the constant kicks a baby would give, reminding the mom that it's either hungry or might be even just playing inside their haven. But what she didn't tell me was that it was a constant process, a 24X7 schedule my baby planned for me. My doctor thought that I was exaggerating when I told her that my baby just wouldn't stop kicking from inside the whole day. She just rolled her eyes saying "An active baby !" ...while I found myself rolling on the bed the entire night, almost getting insomnic.
Myth : Doctors know it all !
Truth : Well, undoubtedly... I had the best doctor attending me, who was just a call away to answer all my weird questions even in the middle of the night. But, the second time, when my Singapore doctor confirmed it twice that it's a baby girl in my womb, I had my shopping bills piled upto Rs.7000, only for the new-born. I think that doc still owes me that money with me giving birth to a boy.....hehehe
-----> My first pregnancy was definitely a memorable one, with me putting on 28 kgs altogether in the entire 9 months. Blame it my ignorance, or blame my mom's utter pamper, I was always hungry and devoured all the tasty ( read fatty ) dishes, which my mom used to dish out as soon as I craved for them. I couldn't actually decide when to stop, and needless to say, I had very tough time in shedding all that baby weight.
Myth : You need to eat double your intake, because of another life in you.
Truth : You definitely don't need the double intake. It's just gonna make you double the size, that's it ! The baby definitely requires extra nutrients, which can be replenished with healthy diet, including veggies, fruits, and milk. Low-fat is best recommended and is also enough. Moms don't need to consume FATS in order for the baby to be healthy.
------> With a heavy baby inside, and me turning to be heavier than expected, my activities were just cut down to watching TV and eating. I know, am setting a bad example.... but this was only the first time ( when I had all the time for myself... with me taking a long leave from college through my last semester). I didn't hear anything about pre-natal yoga or anything for that matter. I was just busy watching my favourite saas-bahu serials on Star Plus. The second time was definitely a hectic one, with me managing my toddler and cooking and doing all the household chores until my third trimester.
Myth : You should not strain yourself. Rest is very important for a to-be-mother.
Truth : Of course, no one advices you to strain yourself when you are pregnant. But of course, many girls assume it as a great vacation, pampering themselves with excess food and very little activity. Don't be angry with me, because I did the same thing,
and now me advising not to pamper yourselves. I am just trying to say that it's always better to be health-conscious than behave as if getting pregnant is the only excuse for eating relentlessly. Enroll yourselves in pre-natal yoga, it's a definite remedy for a mom to be in shape post-delivery. ( If not me, I have a friend as a living proof ! So trust me )
----->After the baby ( I delivered through a C-section), all the elders amongst my friends and family kept visiting me and loading me with their own-versions of mommyhood advice. I was so overwhelmed with the entire thing of nighttime feeding, diaper changing, and the constant wailing of my child, that I found the other people's advices to be just throwing me more into a soup. I just couldn't stand anyone telling me anything, be it good or bad. I mean, no one actually gave me bad advice....but the blues definitely hit me hard, and I just wanted to flee somewhere ! (for a while, of course)
Myth : Listening to old wives tales will help you and your baby.
Truth : Sorry, but I wasn't ready for them. I had my own versions of anti-advices for all the advices offered. I was trying to be logical, and I don't see why a new mommy should devour atleast 2kg of "Desi ghee" within a month !! I mean, please....a woman should atleast judge what's wrong and what's not... not relenting to any grandmom's tales.
----->When I joined my husband in Singapore ( my older one was now 3 months), my mom accompanied me as a gesture to help me with my first-time motherhood. Though she was scheduled to be for atleast 3 months, she had to pack bags within a month, with my utterly-dependant dad finding it extremely difficult to manage anything for himself. I still remember the day, when we dropped off my mom at the airport and came home with trembling hands, because I wasn't even good with diaper changing. I literally wept in my husband's arms, with a gushing flow of anger and fear. The first bath i gave to my infant was definitely a memorable one, with me learning a great lesson in life. You can do anything !
Myth : Handling an infant, doing all the motherly chores can't be done alone.
Truth : An exterior help is always welcome, but if that's not possible, moms need not panic. Just take it slow and easy, and remember "Nothing's the end of the world ! " Your baby is going to follow your routine, not someone else's. So, its upto to decide the way you raise him.
------> With months rolling by, and my first-born slowly turning into a strong toddler, I was getting worried with each milestone. Be it the first tooth, the first crawl, the first steps, the first words... everything were recorded on the video and I found immense joy in sharing them with my friends too. When he didn't crawl until 9 months, I was worried. When he didn't call me "Mama" until 18 months, I was worried. In fact, I kept pestering my husband to visit a speech therapist for my son too. Now putting up with his non-stop chatter, my hubby jokingly asks me if I still wanted to go to the doctor.
Myth : Will my baby ever crawl or respond like that kid ? ? Will he speak like his pal ?
Truth : Any child (unless there's a serious problem) would definitely cover his milestones within his own body limits. Never push a baby too hard. And most importantly, never compare a child with other kids. Every child is unique !!
-------> After my first-born started preschool, I had lots of complaints about his wandering off from the group activities, and about his short attention spans. I was beginning to worry about the constant complaints from his teachers about his non-social activities. Well, he was just 3 years old then, and I didn't entirely realize that a three-year old tends to involve in parallel play, and has very little to do with the other kids. By the time I realized this, my older one already began to like school, and the complaints got lesser. Now, he is one of the best kids in school. No kidding !
Myth : My kid is not very social... will he ever get along with other kids ??
Truth : A kid's mentality is his very own ! Nothing can actually change that. It's his own identity and parents should encourage the kids to be friendly, but never push them to be more than they can actually do. It just curls them inwards. Of course, involving preschoolers in group activities might tend to help them overcome the anxiety and fear of handling the outer world. It's all in a parent's jurisdiction !
Actually, its only the first time a to-be-mom would have so many doubts and worries in her mind, while the baby inside is ready to come into this world. The second time is definitely a lot easier and the mother actually matures in her mind, and handling a baby is definitely easier, if not a breeze !
Just dispel all the myths in your minds. Trust me, in a mommy's world... the reality is not really harsh ! Face it ... Enjoy It !
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Revisiting the blues !
Knock Knock !
Who's there?
Its Blue ....
Blue Who ??
The Post-partum blue....
Not again !!
Raising a child can involve a lot of do's and dont's... it involves a lot of myths and confusions in the minds of first-time moms. When I became a mom for the first time, some four years ago, my mind wasn't just confused but was also racing ! I was actually petrified with the overwhelming amount of time a baby's attention demands. I just couldn't adjust to the new phase of my life very quickly. As you could read in one of my early posts Post partum blues I was very much jaded with the entire thing of motherhood, in the early month of my child-birth.
With passing time and my sons growing at an amazing pace...right now, I find life less gloomier than when I actually experienced the post-partum blues. But that doesn't mean that life is all rosier !! The blues keep visiting me yet again and remind me of their existence.
Maybe, I should put the blame on the "Terrible Twos" stage, a name very apt for kids who turned two. Who would better know this than the mommies with toddlers at home ?? Kids at this age are at their crankiest best(or should i say, worst? ) Whatever it is, it's the moms who have to endure it. Am not too sure about the other toddlers, but these days, my younger son is a real prankster and makes sure he is heard too! His firm "NO" for almost everything just drives me crazy. All the endless hours of play and fun will be just melted with one tantrum, and I feel really helpless when tears are rolling down his little cheeks for no absolute reason. Maybe, this is the phase when they actually can't communicate properly, with their language confined to only single syllable words. It must be the exasperation to vent their feelings, that it just turns out to be those salty tears.
Last week, when my younger one was in one of his worst moods, so was mine(owing to Mother nature). It was a gloomy day, when he wasn't just eating right, and constantly crying without reason. Finally in the evening, I decided to treat myself to a quiet time in the library, and dropped off my hubby and kids at the fitness centre. Then, I bumped into a buddy at a coffee-shop. Was I glad to find him ? U bet! I couldn't help but break down before my friend about my "extremely-low" day, with my cranky toddler. I even admitted that I wished I was single, and was complaining about how the other girls of my age are still contemplating on marriage, while my life is completely revolved around diapers, medicines, and toys ! The only soothing effect I got from my buddy "The grass is always greener on the other side!" How true indeed !! That was the moment I realized that my older one had also passed this terrible stage of a cranky toddlerhood, who is now a very quiet pre-schooler. In fact, I realized I made a terrible mistake, trying to think of running away from the responsibility of being a mom. Isn't it true that God made mothers, because he couldn't be everywhere at all times? Well, i believe that! Atleast, when I see these helpless, little bundles of joy.
My mom used to advice me that motherhood is the toughest phase and also the sweetest one too. A woman should be entirely ready to be a mom, otherwise it's the children who have to suffer ( And to think, moms think they are suffering !!)
Life's lows can be melted down definitely, but running away is definitely not the solution. Now, I smile to myself with the thought, "When the rest of the girls of my age are busy changing diapers, I will be FREE !!" hehehe...
Bye bye blue !!
Who's there?
Its Blue ....
Blue Who ??
The Post-partum blue....
Not again !!
Raising a child can involve a lot of do's and dont's... it involves a lot of myths and confusions in the minds of first-time moms. When I became a mom for the first time, some four years ago, my mind wasn't just confused but was also racing ! I was actually petrified with the overwhelming amount of time a baby's attention demands. I just couldn't adjust to the new phase of my life very quickly. As you could read in one of my early posts Post partum blues I was very much jaded with the entire thing of motherhood, in the early month of my child-birth.
With passing time and my sons growing at an amazing pace...right now, I find life less gloomier than when I actually experienced the post-partum blues. But that doesn't mean that life is all rosier !! The blues keep visiting me yet again and remind me of their existence.
Maybe, I should put the blame on the "Terrible Twos" stage, a name very apt for kids who turned two. Who would better know this than the mommies with toddlers at home ?? Kids at this age are at their crankiest best(or should i say, worst? ) Whatever it is, it's the moms who have to endure it. Am not too sure about the other toddlers, but these days, my younger son is a real prankster and makes sure he is heard too! His firm "NO" for almost everything just drives me crazy. All the endless hours of play and fun will be just melted with one tantrum, and I feel really helpless when tears are rolling down his little cheeks for no absolute reason. Maybe, this is the phase when they actually can't communicate properly, with their language confined to only single syllable words. It must be the exasperation to vent their feelings, that it just turns out to be those salty tears.
Last week, when my younger one was in one of his worst moods, so was mine(owing to Mother nature). It was a gloomy day, when he wasn't just eating right, and constantly crying without reason. Finally in the evening, I decided to treat myself to a quiet time in the library, and dropped off my hubby and kids at the fitness centre. Then, I bumped into a buddy at a coffee-shop. Was I glad to find him ? U bet! I couldn't help but break down before my friend about my "extremely-low" day, with my cranky toddler. I even admitted that I wished I was single, and was complaining about how the other girls of my age are still contemplating on marriage, while my life is completely revolved around diapers, medicines, and toys ! The only soothing effect I got from my buddy "The grass is always greener on the other side!" How true indeed !! That was the moment I realized that my older one had also passed this terrible stage of a cranky toddlerhood, who is now a very quiet pre-schooler. In fact, I realized I made a terrible mistake, trying to think of running away from the responsibility of being a mom. Isn't it true that God made mothers, because he couldn't be everywhere at all times? Well, i believe that! Atleast, when I see these helpless, little bundles of joy.
My mom used to advice me that motherhood is the toughest phase and also the sweetest one too. A woman should be entirely ready to be a mom, otherwise it's the children who have to suffer ( And to think, moms think they are suffering !!)
Life's lows can be melted down definitely, but running away is definitely not the solution. Now, I smile to myself with the thought, "When the rest of the girls of my age are busy changing diapers, I will be FREE !!" hehehe...
Bye bye blue !!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Gen Next !
Generation gap !!
A phrase I've been listening from my parents since a child. My dad used to speak a lot about generation gap. Whenever me and my younger brother started misbehaving, or went a bit out of control, we were given a long lecture on how they used to behave as kids, and how the present generation is getting totally wayward.(Rings a bell?? I think its a common story in every household). Fifteen years later, the tables have turned, and its now my turn to actually control my kids, and keep worrying about their behavior.With two boys in my house, one a toddler and another a preschooler, I am always on my toes. The common topics that constantly revolve around my mommy-brain are "Table Manners"(or for that matter, actual Manners) , "Mealtime Madness" and "Social behavior". These must be the highest goals to be achieved for any typical parent.
Sometimes, as I reel back my past scenes, with Dad relating stories of his childhood, a smile breaks onto my lips. When it was our turn to hang our heads down and relentlessly listen to our dad's lessons on behaviour, little did we realize the
importance of his preachings. We siblings were so literally used to his fables that it sometimes turned into either a giggle or a yawn. Sorry Dad !!
Thinking twice, the generation gap actually exists not only in age or moral behaviour, but also in technology too. Undoubtedly, the 20th century has been the most radical century of all times. We've witnessed the evolution of all the important electronic and electrical equipments in this century itself. We can still hear our grandparents relating incidents about the first street light, or the first radio transmission. As the next generation leaped, our parents got used to electricity or radio, but were still awed with gadgets like Television, Washing machine, etc. As kids, everyone should agree that our generation has taken all the above for granted. I remember the only new invention of our times, the Computer making its way into homes. In the 90's, when the Windows made its revolutionary path into millions of homes as PCs, there was a great deal of enthusiasm, and the Internet was just supposed to be a great boon to the human world.
Now, in the 21st century, raising kids is literally a challenge, with all the gadgets and equipments at common use. When I tell my kids about the frequent power outage in India, due to lack of proper funds, they are literally surprised and feel it as if it's something totally alien. They just can't imagine life without internet, leave alone the basic electricity. The present generation kids are so much used to the latest technology, that you find the various age groups of kids with their respective gizmos. The preschoolers with the phonics websites, the kindergartners with the Leap frog systems, the primary-schoolers with their video games, and the list goes on. I don't want to include the Big kids, who are hooked onto their Wii or Play stations though. It doesn't qualify as a generation gap. (Or maybe, it's just an attempt of our population to bridge a gap between the two generations....hehehe)
Getting back to moral behavior, I cannot completely agree on Dad saying that their generation was much better than ours, etc etc. Come on, there might have been exceptions in any time. If the kids in the 50's didn't retort back, were they less subjected to hard feelings towards their parents? It was just that their generation couldn't vent their feelings properly, which resulted in more frustration and depression. It's definitely a feel-good factor when kids are able to share their feelings and their fears, very much unlike the older generation where a father figure was met with only FEAR and a stick. In fact, gone are the days where the parents have to be so strict, that the kids should feel that they are in an army school. Studies have definitely proved that the more you bond with the kid, the better they evolve and share their feelings with you.
In the present times, getting the best out of your kids is definitely a huge task for a mother, like the social manners, or using the basic phrases "Thank You" or "sorry". Here, I should mention that kids normally tend to freeze when asked to say sorry, if a mistake is done by them. My elder one, for instance. He just wouldn't relent to my warning, and finds it extremely difficult to apologize for his sometimes-ruthless behavior. I keep worrying if this remains a trait in him, but hope that he overcomes it soon enough, at least by the time he realizes it's value.
Going back a half-century again, as normal Indians, who got their independence very recently, our senior generation found food only as a great luxury. Wasting food is an incorrigible crime, and for most Hindus, food was still considered a God. Amongst one of the many kids of a huge family, an individual was just offered a very minimal two meals a day, and that itself was a great blessing. Right now, anyone who enters a modern-day kitchen(you can enter mine, promising not to faint), will realize how many varieties of foods are available for the kiddos. The supermarkets are screaming with newer varieties of groceries, especially for kids, and it only makes a mom's job easier. The present day kids definitely would laugh at food being called "God". And that's when I get tempted to show them the droughts and famines still present in some parts of the world. We, as parents shouldn't definitely allow this kind of recklessness towards their mealtime madness.
Now, as I continue to raise my two pranksters, and when its time I teach them the little lessons on morale and behavior, I am not surprised when my younger one( who is two) actually says "NO" in a loud voice, and my elder one breaks into a giggle. I wouldn't be lying if I said that I am on the verge of laughter too. Maybe, the kid in me is still alive, but the mother in me asks me to behave properly for the sake of my kids at least ! It's all in a parent, to bridge the gap between the generations. And it cannot be achieved through any preachings. It's all an individual perception. So get to practice and bridge the gap, in your own little way.
Must dash now, the next gen is calling !!
A phrase I've been listening from my parents since a child. My dad used to speak a lot about generation gap. Whenever me and my younger brother started misbehaving, or went a bit out of control, we were given a long lecture on how they used to behave as kids, and how the present generation is getting totally wayward.(Rings a bell?? I think its a common story in every household). Fifteen years later, the tables have turned, and its now my turn to actually control my kids, and keep worrying about their behavior.With two boys in my house, one a toddler and another a preschooler, I am always on my toes. The common topics that constantly revolve around my mommy-brain are "Table Manners"(or for that matter, actual Manners) , "Mealtime Madness" and "Social behavior". These must be the highest goals to be achieved for any typical parent.
Sometimes, as I reel back my past scenes, with Dad relating stories of his childhood, a smile breaks onto my lips. When it was our turn to hang our heads down and relentlessly listen to our dad's lessons on behaviour, little did we realize the
importance of his preachings. We siblings were so literally used to his fables that it sometimes turned into either a giggle or a yawn. Sorry Dad !!
Thinking twice, the generation gap actually exists not only in age or moral behaviour, but also in technology too. Undoubtedly, the 20th century has been the most radical century of all times. We've witnessed the evolution of all the important electronic and electrical equipments in this century itself. We can still hear our grandparents relating incidents about the first street light, or the first radio transmission. As the next generation leaped, our parents got used to electricity or radio, but were still awed with gadgets like Television, Washing machine, etc. As kids, everyone should agree that our generation has taken all the above for granted. I remember the only new invention of our times, the Computer making its way into homes. In the 90's, when the Windows made its revolutionary path into millions of homes as PCs, there was a great deal of enthusiasm, and the Internet was just supposed to be a great boon to the human world.
Now, in the 21st century, raising kids is literally a challenge, with all the gadgets and equipments at common use. When I tell my kids about the frequent power outage in India, due to lack of proper funds, they are literally surprised and feel it as if it's something totally alien. They just can't imagine life without internet, leave alone the basic electricity. The present generation kids are so much used to the latest technology, that you find the various age groups of kids with their respective gizmos. The preschoolers with the phonics websites, the kindergartners with the Leap frog systems, the primary-schoolers with their video games, and the list goes on. I don't want to include the Big kids, who are hooked onto their Wii or Play stations though. It doesn't qualify as a generation gap. (Or maybe, it's just an attempt of our population to bridge a gap between the two generations....hehehe)
Getting back to moral behavior, I cannot completely agree on Dad saying that their generation was much better than ours, etc etc. Come on, there might have been exceptions in any time. If the kids in the 50's didn't retort back, were they less subjected to hard feelings towards their parents? It was just that their generation couldn't vent their feelings properly, which resulted in more frustration and depression. It's definitely a feel-good factor when kids are able to share their feelings and their fears, very much unlike the older generation where a father figure was met with only FEAR and a stick. In fact, gone are the days where the parents have to be so strict, that the kids should feel that they are in an army school. Studies have definitely proved that the more you bond with the kid, the better they evolve and share their feelings with you.
In the present times, getting the best out of your kids is definitely a huge task for a mother, like the social manners, or using the basic phrases "Thank You" or "sorry". Here, I should mention that kids normally tend to freeze when asked to say sorry, if a mistake is done by them. My elder one, for instance. He just wouldn't relent to my warning, and finds it extremely difficult to apologize for his sometimes-ruthless behavior. I keep worrying if this remains a trait in him, but hope that he overcomes it soon enough, at least by the time he realizes it's value.
Going back a half-century again, as normal Indians, who got their independence very recently, our senior generation found food only as a great luxury. Wasting food is an incorrigible crime, and for most Hindus, food was still considered a God. Amongst one of the many kids of a huge family, an individual was just offered a very minimal two meals a day, and that itself was a great blessing. Right now, anyone who enters a modern-day kitchen(you can enter mine, promising not to faint), will realize how many varieties of foods are available for the kiddos. The supermarkets are screaming with newer varieties of groceries, especially for kids, and it only makes a mom's job easier. The present day kids definitely would laugh at food being called "God". And that's when I get tempted to show them the droughts and famines still present in some parts of the world. We, as parents shouldn't definitely allow this kind of recklessness towards their mealtime madness.
Now, as I continue to raise my two pranksters, and when its time I teach them the little lessons on morale and behavior, I am not surprised when my younger one( who is two) actually says "NO" in a loud voice, and my elder one breaks into a giggle. I wouldn't be lying if I said that I am on the verge of laughter too. Maybe, the kid in me is still alive, but the mother in me asks me to behave properly for the sake of my kids at least ! It's all in a parent, to bridge the gap between the generations. And it cannot be achieved through any preachings. It's all an individual perception. So get to practice and bridge the gap, in your own little way.
Must dash now, the next gen is calling !!
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