The highs and lows of a mommy's mind

Every day, as a part of unwinding my routine, I try to introspect my daily schedule. Trust me, its a conglomeration of some really crazy stuff with my kids.

The day kick starts with Tej wailing and pleading me not to send him to school.The early morning waking-up time is a big battle, to be fought every other day.Thats when I get tempted to actually get him back and tuck into the bed along with him. But, not to set a bad example, I have never actually allowed him to "bunk" school, atleast to-date. Thankfully, the tantrum stays until his bath, and then he is as fit as a pumpkin to attend his pre-kindergarten. "School is fun" is what he declares finally , and gives a tight hug and kiss to me and his younger brother (who is now wailing to go to school, though he is still 2), and rushes off to his school. Hmmmm, life's little ironies ,.... you just want those things which you are forbidden the most. I feel a bit relieved , with my elder one gone to school , and having only one child vying for my attention. Anuj cries for a moment that he is left out, but eventually comes to terms with his favourite "Dora the Explorer". He gives the cartoon a hug and kiss and continues to watch it for a while. Now is the time for my "orkutting" , along with a big mug of Milo(yeah, Milo is the secret of my energy, LOL ) My mind is the most relaxed at this particular moment, with me kicking my legs off the computer desk , gulping my huge mug of Calcium-intake.

Then goes the same old routine , with Anuj's shower , followed by mine, and then the cooking. In the meanwhile , as a part of entertaining my younger one , I take him out for a short walk. At this moment, my mind is actually rushing. I keep looking at the watch, only to realise that I have only a few moments with Mother Nature , before i resume my chef's duties. I feel pity for myself for not having to enjoy the nature , while Anuj is cheerfully waving at the birds in the garden. My entire focus remains on what to cook , as my elder one comes home so much famished that he acts as if he came from the country of Somalia. At this moment, my mind is just closed , not opening to the morning gossip of the other ladies in the community. I barely manage to say a Hi to anyone who passes me, because I know I would be a terrible company at that point.

Lunch-time arrives with both my husband and Tej coming back from their respective work-places. My elder one, who has a wonderful sense of smell, tries to guess exactly as to what I cooked for lunch.Thats when I feel very much satiated with my culinary skills. After all, all my cooking skills are honed to be better only for my family, right ?

He comes back with his school-work, and tries to animatedly explain what he did for that day at his school. I get a sense of exhilaration, when he explains everything in detail , his likes and dislikes, and the various things he did with his friends. It gives me a sense of deja-vu ,with my school days seeming to rekindle as my son gets excited about his school fun.

Post-lunch, I suddenly get this low mood-swing , and sometimes or more often crib that my entire day is just revolved in the kitchen, cooking, cleaning and doing all the odd jobs. My husband actually gets perplexed, with my mixed feelings, because until then, I was this dutiful housewife, and the next moment, I behave like a cranky teenager missing her mom terribly. He tries to explain that it might be because of constant work with the kids, but nothing would actually help me. It's the lowest phase of my mind in any particular day. Luckily for him, he has meetings to attend in the afternoon, so would just rush off to his haven(spelt office, because of my tantrums). By that time, I would feel better, and then try to spend some time again with my darling kiddos, who are actually busy snatching things from each other.

A little while later, when the kids are in their nap-time, this is the time when my mind actually goes a bit relaxed again. I try to browse or chat up or catch up a movie. I love this part of the day, when I am more to myself. Another high in my day.

These days, as a part of our fitness freak regime, me and my husband have enrolled ourselves into the nearby fitness center. The plus point being, the kids get to enjoy in the kids' club attached with the gym, while we parents sweat our calories out ! There are various sessions going on, like Yoga, Salsa moves, Pilates , etc..through which our work-outs are just being more enjoyable. By this time, I convince myself that am doing pretty well with my routine, giving myself some commendable time, despite having two kids and a crazy routine. I definitely like this part of the day, and am looking forward to it each day.


Then follows the dinner and the sleep-time routine. In the meanwhile, both my kids dash into their room and come out with their crayons and play-dohs and ask their Dad to play with them., with their soulful, large eyes. That's the time I love them the most, when they tend to bond with their adult-male company, and keep yelling to me that they are indeed having FUN. Oh, how I love their funny expressions, when they goof-up with their Papa dearest. At this moment, I feel very much wonderful and love these precious moments of being a parent. Presently , my younger one has become one loyal disciple to his elder brother, and try to repeat and imbibe his role model. He keeps reading all the alphabets and numbers out of nowhere, and that's when I feel more responsible to make them a future Oxford or a Harvard students. Long time ?? Naah....time's just flying.

Finally, as I lay in my bed, next to my husband and my darling kiddos,...I realize that "Life is indeed beautiful". Its all in my mind. My mind, having started out as a strict mom, to a cranky teenager, to a dutiful wife, finally needs rest and just cuddles up to my hubby dearest like a baby. Thats when my mind is finally at REST !

This happened to me !!

Kids and their goof-ups !!

Who would better know than the ones who gave birth to them and who's been handling them 24 X 7 ?? Yeah, this post is dedicated to all you parents who have been handling the super-tantrums and the ultra-whacky lifestyle of the next-gen kids .

All the while, i've been posting all my experiences with my kids. Did i ever tell you all the goof-ups i've had with them too ?? Maybe its time for some honest confessions and some hilarious incidents with these little angels(or should I say Brats).

Honest Confessions

--- > I do most of the coloring in their coloring books.

--- > I get tempted to complete those yummy fatty desserts, when these kids tend to leave them half-way !

--- > I tend to go overboard when I dance with them !

--- > My house is currently filled with so many toys that atleast 10 other kids can play too. I think of charity every time but forget to do it! Maybe, I need a wake-up alarm .

--- > My idea of a vacation ?? Spending an entire weekend all by myself!!! I know its a shocking confession...but I was just being honest!!!

--- > We spend so much money on kids clothes..... We know we don't need it..but we buy them coz they are on SALE ! HUH..are we alone or do we have company??

--- > Sometimes, to have our private time...we distract the kids with TV.... i know, its bad if it becomes a habit ...but sometimes it works !

--- > Most of the car tantrums are avoided with a bar of chocolate!! Sugary bribes u see......

--- > I go hysteric when either the supply of diapers or wet wipes are coming to zero. I just can't imagine a moment without them... but sometimes I think "What the heck? what did they do when they didn't invent these??" Whatever, I can't be so adjusting .... Puhleeeesseeee..

--- > Both me and my hubby keep searching for the "most-important" things always. We try to put them inaccessible to the kids...in the process, we forget where they are ! HELP !!!!

Hilarious Incidents

---> One fine rare evening, when we got time for ourselves, putting the kiddos at a friend's place, and leaving out for dinner. I made a fool out of myself by asking for a high-chair as soon as I entered the restaurant. When the waiter just stared at my non-existent kids then only did I realize how much I got used to them.

---> At a bagel place, when I wanted to order for "Sesame bagels", I went to the counter and asked for "Sesame Street bagels".... The guy just stared at me for a while and laughed off saying "Maam, maybe u just wanted sesame bagels..not sesame street !!" Thats when I realized my goof-up .... heheheh ...

---> Once while running an errand in a supermarket, I had to urgently pass wind. I know its embarrassing, but since there was none around, I just let it go. My older one suddenly shouted , "Mama ! Someone farted !!" ...You should see me blush red !!

---> It was my elder one's first stage show on the ocassion of a spring break . I went equipped with a camera, all excited for my kid's special day . ...only to feel embarrassed that he just wouldn't perform at all, and would just stare down the ground. Even more embarrassment? The teacher revealed that he was the loudest boy during the rehearsal... she herself couldn't figure out what the problem of his non-performance was.... Answer? ME !!!! He's perfectly fine when am not around.... Will I ever be able to see my boy perform ??

---> We were watching this Telugu movie song, where the girl gets hurt bcoz the guy bites her on the lips... I was tempted to switch the TV off but it was too late. My elder one asks me, "Mama , how did the girl get hurt? Did she fall off?" I giggled and murmured, "Yes dear, she fell in love "!! Heheh.

---> One evening, on our way back from the gym, we had to go run an errand. My husband, deciding to put the parking lights on, thought to switch his gym gear to normal ones and dash back to the car within a few minutes. As we reached home, due to the chaos created by my hungry kids, we totally forgot about the car and the errand. We wake up in the morning to realize that our car has been towed away. Result ?? A clean 230 bucks for the release ....

---> Once, after completing the grocery shopping, we came back home empty-handed with the bags still remaining in the supermarket .

---> We have one super romantic portrait done, with my husband's nose on my cheek , and me with my closed mesmerized eyes. This was meant to be a bedroom pose, but we just put it for a while in the living room. A friend's daughter comes up and asks me , "Aunty, What's uncle doing to you in that photograph? " .... Whew, time to shift it to the bedroom !

---> Once, while sorting my laundry, I was trying to interact with my toddler and asked him to classify each one's clothes. The smart one he is , he was pointing out to my lingerie and said " MAMA " !!!!

If I continue writing, every feeling is a confession and each day is filled with such numerous, hilarious incidents.

Did you have fun reading this post ? If so, its time for you to be a part of this too.

Do you have some fun-related incidents with your kids, or someone else's kids, for that matter?

Do lemme know, Just post your funny comment...and I will be happy to paste them on this post.

Whatsay ? Get to work then, my fellow-parents!

Stay connected !

In this maddening world of 21st century, where human relations are measured by money, power and influence, I truly feel that staying connected with family and friends helps an individual make a better person.

Family values are both best explored and exploited in the Indian society. I didn't mean to be a racist here, but being the typical Indian I was raised as, I couldn't help but remark about it in this way .

I was the older of the two kids in my family. My younger brother was my first best-friend i've ever had, and continue to remain even now. Though there isn't much of an age-gap between us, I was always this bossy elder sister whom my brother used to look up in awe (It might have been fear or hatred too, but he was too intimidated to say that maybe..hehe ). I have a truckload of cousins too - both maternal and paternal . The times we had, the fun we shared, the festivals together, the tragic moments binding us... all have been so good to remind ourselves of the blissful life we had as kids.

Childhood has always been great fun for me and my bro with our cousins. My first cousins and we shared a great rapport amongst us. Always playing pranks on each other and especially on my dad .... have been great experiences. India, being known as a "Land of festivals", we always had major excitement whenever a festival approached us. It actually meant a holiday, new clothes, delicious delicacies and the binding among our relatives. Now, as we celebrate our own festivals without mom and dad and some thousands of miles away from India, we do realise the important of being actually together .

I remember a tragic incident in our family, when my dad's elder brother passed away in a train accident in 1995. It was a major shock to our family, and the very roots of our family just shook terribly. The worst hit was to my grandmother, who at the vulnerable age of 70 had lost her own son. It was a terrible time for our entire family. I remember my late uncle's kids still being in school and the turmoil my aunt faced during that horrible phase. The wound is still fresh in everyone's minds, but time dissolved and solved most of it. Now, my cousins have their own lives and my aunt is doing well too, with her job. Though nothing can get my uncle back into this world, the only lesson we were taught was the importance of "human relations" and its possible only until we are alive in this world. It just doesn't make sense to fight insensibly for minor issues, because life is too short for all the unending and unnerving squabbles among our own family members. The unfortunate incident was anyway destined, but it just remained a reminder for us to lead better lives with one another .

As we grew, my cousins, each one of them have their own individual lives ... most of them either married or engaged - busy with their own partners and kids. It's only when we watch the old pictures we do realize how fast time actually flew and how little bonding is actually left now. Despite being terribly busy in our own lives, I should thank the internet, which has helped us be in touch with one another despite being in various time zones and places too.

Presently living in the USA, where life just seems to be a whirlwind of activities, and days seem to divide themselves into busy weekdays and even-busier weekends, I sometimes ponder over the lack of warmth exuding among our own friends and relatives, due to the lack of time. Life in USA is nothing but a "rat-race" of who is being more successful than whom. That's what atleast I thought of until I was residing in Asia. But luckily, as I complete almost a year of residentship of America, I realise that the NRI's here are more positively adamant on preserving our Indian heritage and culture than the actual indians residing in India. It might be just because of staying in an ultra-modern country, the DESIS here tend to get a strange feeling of belonging to neither cultures. In an attempt to bridge the gap, most of the desi kids seem to imbibe the Indian culture through classical music or dance. It seems a little funny when the kids are actually speaking in the typical American accent, while also slowly mastering the Hindustani music. It just reflects on how strong we feel for our country, despite being eons away from India. That's one way of being connected too .

As a parent, I would love my kids to be brought up in a similar way, not tending to forget our actual roots, but also trying to fit in this global modern world .

I just say one thing to all the people who are trying to give an excuse of being "busy" in their lives. It just doesn't take more than a few minutes to wish ur dear ones on their special days. The other days might be their usual routine, but it really makes a huge difference to wish a dear friend or a relative on their special day. You do that this year, and you will never complain that no one wished you for your birthday next year. Its just a matter of reciprocation . Try it !!

Is this really a FAILURE ?

September 10, 2008.

An eye-opener of a date in my life ! A sad day too... with my best friend casually tossing me into the "Jobless" category ..and my husband proving it by actually clearing my education loan with his money . Hmm .... I know its not a good example to say "His" and "my" money in a marriage ... (everything was decided to be "OURS" )... but am not just able to digest the fact that I have no money on my own .

Eight years ago , I was this super-confident girl strutting towards a famous engineering college in Vizag , with dreams of achieving an identity for herself in this big , bad world .... despite being already engaged to get married . Nothing has ever actually stopped me from dreaming of achieving something big . When Dad offered to pay the tuition fees for my B.Tech , the-then Vijaya Shanthi was so confident of her success in her career that she opted for an education loan instead , which she was utterly confident of repaying it as soon as she graduated with flying colors.

Eight years later , Vijaya shanthi is long-lost ! Its ShanthiPrasadh which is known more to the world , thanks to Orkut .Ironically , when the "vijaya" is taken away from my name .... so did the sweet victory I thought to sought after as a student .

Right now , my life is what every girl dreams of . No kidding ! A loving husband , two cute sons and a good fortune . What else would a woman want ? Atleast , thats what mom taught me !! Hmm ...what's been missing is my identity . I am living my life as a wife , a mom , a friend and a daughter , and of course , as a sister too. But , as i question myself today ..( after I failed in repaying my education loan ) I realise that my identity in the whole race of womanhood is practically lost .

Personally speaking , I've always put myself way below everything else in my life . First being my family , and then my friends. Close friends of mine (which are a real few ) know how low self-esteem I really have. I might call it a lack of ego . But I've always maintained the statement that "Life is too short for all this bull-shit !! "( sorry for the lingo...couldnt help it ) .

As I self-analyse my present life , I realise that it's just divided into chunks of time , each for the various men of my life (my husband , my kids, my brother and my friends ) Everyone has been especially sweet to me in their own way , trying to make me just feel better , despite me not being able to actually start a career of my own.

I have always thought that am doing the world's greatest job , being a mom ! Friends of mine have always wowed on my ability to be in touch with them , despite having a crazy schedule with two naughty sons in tow. It was just a gesture from my end to the rest of the world . Or more so , it was one way to maintain my sanity too ...with a gruelling day in and day out with my darling kiddos . In the recent past , after I started writing this blog , I realised that I was indeed doing a wonderful job and have been complaining lesser about my non-existent career. But today has been a low key phase yet again in my life , reminding me of my otherwise life , sans marriage or kids .

Well , it might sounds cliched... .but if I would like life to rewind , I would ask the same life yet again . No complaints to that ! So , why am I actually writing this heavy and gloomy post ? To remind a friend to think if he thought his mom was "jobless" too , while raising him !! The male ego should understand that a female one also actually exists , it just doesn't seem as much as the male version ! And speaking of jobs , a 9-5 job is done by the evening , but a mom is still working until her kids are asleep late in the night . Now thats called a 24 X 7 job !!!

Maybe this "failure" will be a real stepping stone. Otherwise too , am not actually sitting idle... so no more complaints !!

Thanks readers , for putting up with my cloudy day ....
Will come up with a hilarious post pretty soon .

A travel to the past and the present !

"A person without travel is like a book without pages"

So much true !!

Travelling to new places , finding new things about their culture , trying out local delicacies ,....Ohh !! what great pleasures are hidden in travel .

As a child , my dad who's been always interested in travelling had taken us to various places in India. I still remember the trip we made to the North India , covering Darjeeling , Siliguri , a little bit of the Nepal border too . , along with Calcutta (It was still being called like that instead of Kolkata) . It was the most memorable trip we ever made as kids , along with 4 other families. I was 8 years old , while my younger brother was 6 . I still can't believe , my brother at that tender age , being the adventurous kid he was, had tried out rock-climbing at a foot-hill in Darjeeling . Me, being the quieter child just had fun watching him scale the hillock.
I also do remember the vast and immensely green tea gardens in Darjeeling . Oh ! What a treat to watch ! It was just a pleasure to watch the women in their local costume carefully plucking the tea leaves , quietly singing their cultural songs , only with a mild sense that these tea leaves are almost world-famous . The ladies employed in those tea gardens were so oblivious of their hard work , ..it just appeared as a natural thing to them and to us spectators too. We had fun wearing the local costume for a photo-shoot there. I was thrilled to see my mom as a tea-woman , who otherwise had always been in sarees.

There was this train ride we took from Darjeeling to Siliguri. It was definitely worth a ride. The traditional steam-train rides are definitely missing in this new millennium and I feel sad about that .

Then came Calcutta ...the city with so much of a hustle and bustle...it was just impossible to stay put in that city teeming with millions. We visited some of the many museums scattered all over the city . I still have a clear vision of the Dolls museum we visited there , and was so enthralled on seeing so many dolls and toys at one place . I was instantly transferred to a dreamland , and felt like "Alice in Wonderland" .

All these memories have been so good to recollect them over the years.

Post-marriage , due to my hectic college schedule , we couldn't make a honeymoon trip immediately (an issue which surfaces up each time we fight ..hehe) .. So , to make it up , me and my husband made a trip to Ooty ,the romantic capital of the South India , in our second year of marriage. It was definitely a memorable one ...and one thing we realized was that the place we visit as a couple has very little importance . We had a ball of time lazing around , having great food and checking out the local places in and around Ooty for a stretch of 4 days.

Then came the rain ...i mean , then came the kids !!

What to say , when the kids are present , we realised another important thing . The place we visit is utterly important. Otherwise , it was just a sheer waste of time , money and needless to say, effort !

The first trip we made with my first-born was to Thailand with another couple , who had a girl-child as old as Tej. I was actually very skeptical about the trip from the beginning , though my husband was just beaming with excitement over the trip . I wasn't too sure about our enjoyment in the "Land of White Elephants" with 2 cranky toddlers in tow . I was just hoping for everything to be OK . As it turned out to be , It was more than OK and we had a great time , despite some ocassional tantrums from the two kids .
The flight journey was a saviour . It was just an hour and a half from Singapore to Thailand , and it had definitely helped us enjoy the trip .Had it been a longer one , the kids who were already wailing their lungs out (because it was their first trip on air) would have driven us crazy .
Thailand is one charming place , full of new things to discover . Be it the traditional Thai massage , or the world-famous local cuisine , or the various one-of-a-kind shows. Me and my friend had a wonderful time with the Thai milk massage for one hour ,while our husbands were baby-sitting the toddlers . The massage had done wonders to our mommy-minds , which only needed relaxation amidst the hectic trip with the kids . Another hilarious incident was a trip on a small steamer boat to an island , Phi phi island. The onward journey was manageable , but post-lunch , after checking out the tiny island for a couple of hours , the actual trouble started . We being vegetarians (the other family was Jains..so u could imagine our diet ! ) had this famous Thai Green veggie curry . The food was served hot and it was very delicious ., but little did we know what trouble was in store in our return journey . The boat's rollicking movements had done wrong justice with our food , and all of us had to just vomit the whole of our lunch into the plastic bags we were already provided by the boat people who already knew how well the travellers would adjust to the boat movements . Needless to say , Thai green curry came out as it went into our tummies and we still laugh over our once-favourite curry. Yeah , we dont have it anymore ....as a reminder of that infamous mishap in the boat .

The next trip we made was with both our kids , when my younger son was around 10 months .This time , it was the "Truly Asia - Malaysia " . We decided to do it on our own and set out to travel only with our kids ., sans any outside company . There was this Mini-Vegas there , called Genting . It's a high-spot destination for casinos, entertainment rides etc . Though we couldnt take any ride together as a couple , bcoz of one baby-sitting while the other went on , we had a fair share of enjoyment in that mini-vegas . My husband , who was interested in watching the casino , had to go in the middle of the night , while we were sleeping .,because of no choice . Though the trip went on fairly well , we still regret doing it on our own , because a company with another family would have made a big difference , maybe allowing us to have some of our couple-time !

This has been Asia for us .

Coming down to the western world , California has been a wonderful place to explore the National parks , zoological gardens and some local parks. But all the trips we've made have just been a day's trip , not more than that ! We are yet to make major road trips with these kids in this part of the world . But , for now , Anuj being in the "Terrible Two" stage , I would prefer waiting until the next year to make an enjoyable trip , rather than actually travelling with him , and cribbing about his constant crankiness .

However , be it a day or a week , travelling with kids is always a huge task , filled with planning the hotels , transport , packing and stuff.
We , as a couple , divide the tasks , with my husband planning out the hotels , while I do the packing . If it was the other way round , we would be staying on the roads waiting for a hotel confirmation , with my kids missing their baby food. So , its better we do this way ! It saves us a lot of time and energy and effort !

Europe ?? Naah !! That can wait until my kids are ready to stay with someone else while we complete our long-postponed full-fledged honeymoon trip . I hope my hubby is listening !!