Right now, am on a dependent visa status in the US, thus disallowing me to attempt any kind of outside job. I especially mentioned about doing a job outside, because my daily job of being a mom is no less than anything else. The average mom !! She can be a stay-at-home or a working one. But the duties of a mom can never be diluted. The diapers, the food routine, the manners, every single stage is itself a milestone. It just makes motherhood the busiest jobs on earth, with sweet payments like dirty diapers and sticky bibs and temper tantrums and to make it all the more sweeter, bundles of hugs and kisses from your little ones too.
Motherhood cannot be compared to anything less. Before motherhood struck me, statements like these seemed overrated to me. But as I continue to raise my two little sons, each day is a busy one as well as challenging too. Every moment I spend with the kiddos makes me feel the importance of the world's most important job. Great countries are made out of great men, and great men are made out of great mothers. So utterly true. Of course, the part of being a dad too is very important, but the way a kid connects to a mom, right from the placenta-uterus thing to the outside worldly emotional bond, it's just very much incomparable to any other relation in this world.
Talking about my mindset, I was a bit obsessed with my older one than with my second son. I still remember ironing and stacking my older son's clothes for the next 5 days, before I went and delivered my younger son. My mom was irritated with my over-enthusiasm, because that just meant that I wasn't ready to trust anyone when it came to my son's issues. But, it just wasn't about my trust on others, it was just a way of showing my enthusiasm with motherhood. I just loved doing everything for them, and I think it would never change for another 50 years or so. I can already visualise my sons being taller than me, tending their own families,... but for me, they will always be my babies.
With them being infants, I was busy minding their 2 hourly feeds, changing diapers often...very often, and despite all this, trying to find time for ourselves too. As the toddlerhood came on, I was busy watching them grow out of mashed food to big people's food... with half of the food lying on the high chair. Atleast, they know when hunger strikes them. Its just another issue if they cleaned their platter or not. Then came the school stage. My older one who attends pre-K has a bundle of questions packed in his tiny mind. As he attempts to read stories out of cereal boxes, his younger brother follows suit. In addition to minding his daily routine of school, food and studies... I am also busy minding my 5 year old son's worldly manners too. There is a passing phase in which the kid's favourite word is NO ! That's what is going on in my house right now. No for everything. I am just hoping that this passing phase would pass off soon enough, but wait, how did I forget my younger son who is in his terrible twos right now ?? The whole day is a busy whirlwind of activities with them, thus not even making me think of my non-existent career.
To put things straight, life has its ups and downs. Honestly, I faced a lot of depression during the early days of motherhood. Frankly, whoever would read this blog about motherhood and the sweet things I write should realize that they are just one face of a coin. The sleepless nights, the unnecessary wailings, the supermarket meltdowns (where you are forced to buy something very much unnecessary just because your little one wants it for that moment) ....all these are the other side of the coin.
With the entire day revolving around their crayons, spellings, short walks, I tend to get overwhelmed at a certain point of time with this daily routine. I crave for a certain amount of freedom and a little bit of "my-time" atleast by the evening. Honestly, there are times when I use TV as a bait when my younger one would throw temper tantrums during lunch-time. The food battles are best fought with the idiot-box, but I have to admit that it's no longer that idiotic as it started out to be. The terrible twos' stage is one thing to be watched out for. Toddlers tend to crave a whole lot of attention right after their second birthday. Even a calm baby tends to get unusually cranky and unnecessarily naughty. Toilet training, too is yet another major challenge to be meted out in this age itself. Another major issue is the supply of colors. They come in various shapes and sizes, namely crayons, markers, water-colors. Sometimes, it's hard to determine if the color on the pages is more than those on the walls. And the markers just seem to evaporate in 3 days max, making my rounds to the stationery department every single week. The play-dohs are fun to play with, yes of course.... but when they make a mark on your carpet, you secretly wish you would have never bought them. So you might as well ask as to why I am buying them. Well, my husband asks the same too. My answer ? If they never played with them and made a mess, how will they ever learn ????
Anyway, in an attempt to find solace amidst my crazy schedule with two naughty sons in tow, both me and my husband hit the fitness centre, which has a kids club attached to it. This little time-for-ourselves definitely helps us rejuvenate our senses back to normalcy, and helps in hitting my busy job yet again with even more enthusiasm.
With so many things involved and such little time for oneself, motherhood might be a staggering thing from the outside. But, once inside, as I started on... nothing would compare with the daily wages of kisses and hugs of your little ones.
Indulge in it, and one can never regret in being a mom. Of course, as life isn't too rosy, one has to put up with the downside too. But then, it's all in the mind. So. ... live it, enjoy it and say CHEESE !!
1 comment:
Hey Shanthi,
Look at this:
http://www.coeinc.org/Articles/HousewifeWorth.pdf
So, after all, we needn't crib that we are jobless! We are indeed saving our family tons of $$$.. :)
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