Fighting the blues...

Its raining men !! Hallelujah...
No, am not singing to Geri's tunes, but this is what is happening to most of the friends I know. Naaa... am not talking about dating or mating ! Am talking about tomorrow's men, that's the baby boys most of my friends gave birth to, in the recent times.

I still stand by the statement, "Be it a boy or girl, it's only the motherhood which one needs to endure". The sex of the baby is the least thought of, when you are a new mom. The only thing which goes on your mind is the supply of diapers, the stock of lotions and powders and the shots your baby should't skip. The first few months are so overwhelming that the post-natal blues are bound to hit almost any normal woman. (If you happen to hear anyone saying she didn't find it depressing even for one moment, then she must have been the worst-hit victim!! Trust me).

Problem # 1 :

Am done with them. What ? Diapers....

The biggest challenge any parent faces. Not to mention about the amount of fertiliser my younger one now sprays into my house plants. But seriously, my kids are completely off-diapers. But this was just after 5 years of my constant changing of those smelly things. First my elder one, and then his younger bro.

Life now seems more blissful. But I had my worst times too. The worst being, when I was travelling all alone from India to Singapore along with a 2.5 yr old toddler and a 3 month old infant.

Both on diapers.

Both on bottles.

Both at their crankiest best.

And to make it worse, I was given this very first seat (). for more leg space and that stupid bassinet to fit in, which my infant anyway wouldn't sleep inThis made me do umpteen number of rounds to the toilet in the rear. Oh, only I remember how difficult it was to smile at all those other girls around, while I had to make those innumerable rounds to change their smelly **it.

Fighting it :

Well, diapers have no subsitute. In fact, I rate it as one of the best inventions 21st century has ever seen. The stench can still be handled. I prefer it to washing an actual soiled nappy cloth. It's just more taxing on your hubby's wallet, but that's one thing no mom should compromise !!



Problem # 2

And then , my weighty problems. I was laughing the other day when my best friend ( who's a new mommy now) was bursting in anger about how slim I am looking now. I may not be at my slimmest best, but I completely understand how a new mom feels about her body. The confidence is at the least. You are always heavy, always hungry and always cranky. While the cute little fella is sucking out all what you eat, you feel as-ravenous-as-you-never-ate for every couple of hours. You don't want to eat because of that huge image in the mirror, but you can't just let go off those guilt trips too. I know i know...very frustrating.

I have to mention here that I gained a whopping 28kg during my first pregnancy and while I slowly managed to shed atleast 20kg off that mommy tummy, I got preggers again helping me regain all that weight all over again. By the time I was a mother of two, I secretly thought of donating all my western wear for charity. I wouldnt fit in any of my pants anyway, but those tees only made me look even more flabby. I still remember how I used to cover them with my dupatta or so.

Fighting it:

Slowly and steadily, I started to lose weight. And this time, I was more determined. Since I was done with the stork thing, I had to get back to my older self. I had to get back the confidence in myself. Am not just talking about looking slim. It's all about recouping and regaining that healthy girl in you. There wasn't any diet regime I followed or a rigorous gym routine. The days were anyway packed with complete set of acitivities with a toddler and an infant. Everything seemed to double. Expenses, joy and work. Though it took a toll on my mental health, my weight slowly started to diminish. After almost 6 years, am now back to where I was. Even slimmer and more healthier. Thanks to my older one's tennis or my younger one's constant naughty play, am always on my toes. And then, special thanks to Shilpa shetty and her yoga. If not her body, am atleast dwelling in the peace that yoga gives me every morning.



Problem # 3

And yes, the most depressing part of my motherhood was the non-existent career. For which I cried endless nights when the babies were fast asleep. The entire day was so busy with them that I sometimes used to forget about me not going out for work or do something for myself. But, when the house was all in a hush, then used to flood my endless gush of emotions. Those years I toiled to complete my B.tech (despite my wedding), those dreams of becoming something big in the corporate world, which everything just being a far-fetched dream. The kids were too young to let go and the guilt pangs couldn't be fought over. I have a few set of friends who are in the reverse situation as mine. To do or not to do. To think of quitting a job because of the kid or not. Well, everyone is entitled to opinion. But, am very sure that despite the compulsive decision of leaving the kid and going out.. the new mom's mind won't have anything else other than the new-born. The career now takes a second seat and any mommy won't mind the new obsession at all. My only suggestion is to think with the mind and not the heart. I've seen many women quitting their jobs for their babies, and then fighting depression due to their non-existent career.

Fighting it :

Don't do this to yourself. Quit a full-flowing career only if you are entirely sure of. Otherwise too, babies thrive. A routine should be established and its a bet that you would pamper the baby even more when you have missed around 8 hrs of his day. It's entirely OK. Don't let guilt overcome you. Later, you need to feel bad when you pass through your old office memories, while your kid is busily scurrying or scribbling or blabbering or not just listening to you.

As for me, am at rest. Though I don't have a full-time career going on for me, it's time I stop thinking that am jobless. After all, am doing the world's toughest job. And to me, the joy of my kids running back to me after school hours is definitely worth the entire effort I put up with. I have my writings too and this blog, which gives me this wonderful feeling that I am worthy to be read.

Work hard to fight any depression. Babies never like dull moms.

You can fight it. After all, motherhood isn't as tough as it seems to be. It's just very very indulging.

I forgot my blues. The world is greener to me now. :)