Dispelling some myths

Whenever I encounter some to-be mommies, I just smile at the uncanny similarities amongst all the women. The anxieties about eating right, the worries about mommys tummies, the anticipation about the new-born, the loads of shopping for them, all of them are literally so common among the pregger ladies that it only brings a smile on my lips, with me facing a similar phase some 4 years ago.

----->When I became pregnant for the first time, I was very ecstatic and worried for a little while too, with me being in my final year of engineering, and having serious doubts on coping up studies along with pregnancy. Though it was a planned pregnancy, nothing could prepare me than the live experience of having a live organism inside me, growing by leaps and bounds with each passing day.
Myth : Coping both motherhood and college is a tough task
Truth : It's tougher than you think. I remember taking all the steps to my second-storied computer lab in college, while I was 5 months pregnant ! Trust me, I just craved for an elevator, or worse, I was just craving for a long leave from college.

-----> My elder son was definitely a very active baby, right since he was in my womb. As the third trimester approached, my doctor told me about the constant kicks a baby would give, reminding the mom that it's either hungry or might be even just playing inside their haven. But what she didn't tell me was that it was a constant process, a 24X7 schedule my baby planned for me. My doctor thought that I was exaggerating when I told her that my baby just wouldn't stop kicking from inside the whole day. She just rolled her eyes saying "An active baby !" ...while I found myself rolling on the bed the entire night, almost getting insomnic.
Myth : Doctors know it all !
Truth : Well, undoubtedly... I had the best doctor attending me, who was just a call away to answer all my weird questions even in the middle of the night. But, the second time, when my Singapore doctor confirmed it twice that it's a baby girl in my womb, I had my shopping bills piled upto Rs.7000, only for the new-born. I think that doc still owes me that money with me giving birth to a boy.....hehehe

-----> My first pregnancy was definitely a memorable one, with me putting on 28 kgs altogether in the entire 9 months. Blame it my ignorance, or blame my mom's utter pamper, I was always hungry and devoured all the tasty ( read fatty ) dishes, which my mom used to dish out as soon as I craved for them. I couldn't actually decide when to stop, and needless to say, I had very tough time in shedding all that baby weight.
Myth : You need to eat double your intake, because of another life in you.
Truth : You definitely don't need the double intake. It's just gonna make you double the size, that's it ! The baby definitely requires extra nutrients, which can be replenished with healthy diet, including veggies, fruits, and milk. Low-fat is best recommended and is also enough. Moms don't need to consume FATS in order for the baby to be healthy.

------> With a heavy baby inside, and me turning to be heavier than expected, my activities were just cut down to watching TV and eating. I know, am setting a bad example.... but this was only the first time ( when I had all the time for myself... with me taking a long leave from college through my last semester). I didn't hear anything about pre-natal yoga or anything for that matter. I was just busy watching my favourite saas-bahu serials on Star Plus. The second time was definitely a hectic one, with me managing my toddler and cooking and doing all the household chores until my third trimester.
Myth : You should not strain yourself. Rest is very important for a to-be-mother.
Truth : Of course, no one advices you to strain yourself when you are pregnant. But of course, many girls assume it as a great vacation, pampering themselves with excess food and very little activity. Don't be angry with me, because I did the same thing,
and now me advising not to pamper yourselves. I am just trying to say that it's always better to be health-conscious than behave as if getting pregnant is the only excuse for eating relentlessly. Enroll yourselves in pre-natal yoga, it's a definite remedy for a mom to be in shape post-delivery. ( If not me, I have a friend as a living proof ! So trust me )

----->After the baby ( I delivered through a C-section), all the elders amongst my friends and family kept visiting me and loading me with their own-versions of mommyhood advice. I was so overwhelmed with the entire thing of nighttime feeding, diaper changing, and the constant wailing of my child, that I found the other people's advices to be just throwing me more into a soup. I just couldn't stand anyone telling me anything, be it good or bad. I mean, no one actually gave me bad advice....but the blues definitely hit me hard, and I just wanted to flee somewhere ! (for a while, of course)
Myth : Listening to old wives tales will help you and your baby.
Truth : Sorry, but I wasn't ready for them. I had my own versions of anti-advices for all the advices offered. I was trying to be logical, and I don't see why a new mommy should devour atleast 2kg of "Desi ghee" within a month !! I mean, please....a woman should atleast judge what's wrong and what's not... not relenting to any grandmom's tales.


----->When I joined my husband in Singapore ( my older one was now 3 months), my mom accompanied me as a gesture to help me with my first-time motherhood. Though she was scheduled to be for atleast 3 months, she had to pack bags within a month, with my utterly-dependant dad finding it extremely difficult to manage anything for himself. I still remember the day, when we dropped off my mom at the airport and came home with trembling hands, because I wasn't even good with diaper changing. I literally wept in my husband's arms, with a gushing flow of anger and fear. The first bath i gave to my infant was definitely a memorable one, with me learning a great lesson in life. You can do anything !
Myth : Handling an infant, doing all the motherly chores can't be done alone.
Truth : An exterior help is always welcome, but if that's not possible, moms need not panic. Just take it slow and easy, and remember "Nothing's the end of the world ! " Your baby is going to follow your routine, not someone else's. So, its upto to decide the way you raise him.


------> With months rolling by, and my first-born slowly turning into a strong toddler, I was getting worried with each milestone. Be it the first tooth, the first crawl, the first steps, the first words... everything were recorded on the video and I found immense joy in sharing them with my friends too. When he didn't crawl until 9 months, I was worried. When he didn't call me "Mama" until 18 months, I was worried. In fact, I kept pestering my husband to visit a speech therapist for my son too. Now putting up with his non-stop chatter, my hubby jokingly asks me if I still wanted to go to the doctor.
Myth : Will my baby ever crawl or respond like that kid ? ? Will he speak like his pal ?
Truth : Any child (unless there's a serious problem) would definitely cover his milestones within his own body limits. Never push a baby too hard. And most importantly, never compare a child with other kids. Every child is unique !!

-------> After my first-born started preschool, I had lots of complaints about his wandering off from the group activities, and about his short attention spans. I was beginning to worry about the constant complaints from his teachers about his non-social activities. Well, he was just 3 years old then, and I didn't entirely realize that a three-year old tends to involve in parallel play, and has very little to do with the other kids. By the time I realized this, my older one already began to like school, and the complaints got lesser. Now, he is one of the best kids in school. No kidding !
Myth : My kid is not very social... will he ever get along with other kids ??
Truth : A kid's mentality is his very own ! Nothing can actually change that. It's his own identity and parents should encourage the kids to be friendly, but never push them to be more than they can actually do. It just curls them inwards. Of course, involving preschoolers in group activities might tend to help them overcome the anxiety and fear of handling the outer world. It's all in a parent's jurisdiction !

Actually, its only the first time a to-be-mom would have so many doubts and worries in her mind, while the baby inside is ready to come into this world. The second time is definitely a lot easier and the mother actually matures in her mind, and handling a baby is definitely easier, if not a breeze !

Just dispel all the myths in your minds. Trust me, in a mommy's world... the reality is not really harsh ! Face it ... Enjoy It !