Forever Summer !

Clutching his favourite teddy, my younger one rubs his sleepy eyes and asks, “Where’s papa?”
With me taking a hint of caffeine and skimming through the daily Page 3 and astrology stuff, I look at him.Even before I answer that Papa's off to office... one look at him makes me grin. Clad in pajamas, waking up after 9am, and immediately settling down before the TV to catch up his daily dose of Mickey mouse, instead of the customary "brush, bath and tiffin-box and school "routine, I welcome summer with all my heart.

Yes, summer is here, and so are the holidays for the kids. My elder one is yet to join the wagon (with this week being his last in school) but that doesn’t stop me from getting those summery jitters, with equal portions of mixed feelings.

Moms love it, moms hate it.

Summer holidays are nevertheless, an unparalleled phase of every child, where he can be himself, not having to worry about homework, and school bus and sleeping before 9pm.

It’s ironical that holidays for moms and kids are mutually exclusive. When they are happily enjoying their leave from school, it’s me who faces even more challenges in introducing more activities in their daily routine, while catering to their daily food cravings too. With Chennai being the heat capital of India, the constant downpour of lemonades and Rasnas are unstoppable. There’s also a little bit of junk food creeping slowly into the refrigerator. Fruits are looked down, and jello-s are the flavor of the season. The kids room is sprawled with crayons, and puzzles and glue-sticks, with half-finished ambitious craft works. Computer games, board games and video games. Games are really the in-thing !! Another challenge is to not let the kids go overboard with TV. Whoa !! that’s quite a task.. every present mom would agree in unison that TV is the best way to keep the kids quiet for a little bit of time, while you do a bit of my-time. But then, this gets easy when they go to school, and a routine is set. But, summer holidays aren’t as rosy as they seem. Even for the little ones !! After a little while, boredom ensues and the prospect of getting back to school routine is spelt as “heaven” to both.

As for me, we are lucky to have a swimming pool in our condominium apartments. No commuting, no time hassles. Just a dip in the cool water would melt away a couple of hours so easily, that everyone of us look forward to the evening. While the little ones are shouting for more fun, the moms also form a little “Water-wives club” right inside the pool !!! Gossip rules it all, and all the moms do enjoy this bit of time without any feeling of guilt that you are not attending the kids. Of course, after a bit of struggle to literally drag the wailing kids ( who wouldn’t want to come out of the pool at any time), snacks ensue and then everyone runs off to the playground. By dinner time, kids are so drained out that they are out like a light even before 9pm. And to think, the 9pm sleep is quite a high target when they are going to school. And during holidays, when timings don't matter that much,... they sleep off even before the scheduled time. So much for discipline and time schedules !!!

Another big joke which is ruling the summer is the sleeping arrangement. As an agreement, when the kids were shifted to their own bedroom, they agreed to sleep all on their own only on weekdays ( meaning no school and no tennis for my elder one). Weekends are on us. This was going on quite well, until the holidays spat an ugly truth on us. They have completely shifted to our bedroom, with my younger one reasoning that “No school, no tennis ..so we sleep with you”. We wait until they hit the sack, and are sound asleep… and slowly shift ourselves to the kids bedroom. Every single day, we thank God for not buying a bunk bed for them yet… otherwise I should be finding my hubby on top of me !! I meant the bed :P

Of course, despite all this... one look at their holiday enjoyment, makes me nostalgic of my own summer vacation when life was simply the best, with mom making all the snacks and sweets beforehand, while we spend the summer dashing from our neighbour's house to our's, playing cricket with the local boys, and of course, watching our daily dose of "Mickey and Donald". Life wasn't much luxurious as compared to my kids' swimming or tennis or all these activities. But neverthless, we always wished summer was here forever. I wish the same now... until their schools start !

(PS : Now, could God make that QUICK!)

Aimless afternoons

There are days, when the afternoons seem so aimless.

Well, for starters, my younger kid comes a little later than noon from his playschool, has his lunch, and slumbers off to his baby-nap, saying he's too tired. Yeah yeah, playschool is tiresome !! I am so jealous of the three-year old. Temptation beckons, thinking I could afford a quiet little nap beside my little one, but I refrain. Reason : There was one day, when my elder one, who usually comes at around 3'o clock... had to ring the doorbell for atleast 10 times, before I woke up from my deep slumber, aka a short nap.

Refraining an afternoon nap is the most difficult part in my daily routine. The afternoons are really aimless, when I have to spend a good one hour, wondering what to do, when my tired baby is off to sleep, and me waiting for another tired school-boy who comes home rattling off all his daily endeavours. And if you thought we could have a nap together, once the elder one is back too, then you are in for a soup. There's a bit of homework and lunch-part II... which slowly churns the time to tea-time !! And then, followed by his tennis. My younger one is the ball-collector. The first few days were great for the playschooler. But quickly, he realized that it wasn't much fun, collecting balls, while his elder brother was hogging all the attention of the little girls, with his classy shots. Atleast, the girl in me was impressed with his shots. And one fine day, the most dreadful statement of the year... "Mama, I don't like tennis. I will play cricket"..declared my younger one. And to think, it's just another couple of years for him to start off what he wants, makes me yearn even more for an afternoon nap.

There have been attempts. Not that I didn't try. To while time away, I even tried my hand at some hobby ideas, read Knitting, sewing,etc. Once I felt like an old aunt, I quickly put them back, unfinished, safely under my mattress. Time will come !!

But, not all days are so drab. There are some fruitful afternoons, when I happen to catch up with "Desperate house wives". The latest season is full of adultery, bold statements and catchy wit and humour. Oh, do I love them? Of course, a perfect excuse to say that am busy !! while am actually catching up with the trashiest series in the history of television. God forbid me, in becoming one of them, Desperate, I mean...

Aimless could also be translated as sluggish.

• I attempt to finish off Jeffrey Archer's latest, only its more soporific.
• I attempt to chat up with some of my old buddys, but everyone's sleeping, just on the other side of the globe, at the right time !!
• I attempt to put more effort in making my afternoons more meaningful, only to make it more aimless.
• I attempt to bake a cake or something, but Chennai heat isn't that welcoming during the afternoons.
• I attempt to write a post on one of my three blogs, and guess what, I ended up writing this. LOL !!

God, please tell me am not alone.

Is God listening or is he taking a nap too ?

Happy parenting

It’s been always my mind, and my words… This time, let me mouth some expert’s advice on parenting.

The last weekend, we had an eminent child psychologist visiting our kid’s playschool. The session was supposed to be one hour, but it slowly and unknowingly scrambled to another extra couple of hours. But no one seemed to mind. The young parents were brimming with questions, while the ever-smiling doctor had an answer for everyone. It was one refreshing Saturday afternoon for all those who attended the session.

Let me get to those important points I would like to share with all my readers. You might know some of them already, but no harm in warming up :)

• As young parents of just-borns and infants, there were some interesting feeds I got from the doctor

1. Make sure you introduce curds/yogurt to the infant before he/she is 10 months old. If you didn’t do so, chances are that your kid will never touch it in his entire life.

2. Never leave an infant unattended. If the baby is crying, and you leave him, there is every possibility that even a 45 day old might feel neglected. And you thought they wouldn’t understand ??

3. Every baby is special. Am not trying to sound like Aamir khan here, but yes, every child has got his/her own milestones to cover, and they would do it in their own, unique way. Never, ever compare your baby with someone else’s. Insecurities aren’t really worth when you have your baby’s precious moments to be delighted in.

• Parents of “toddlers who have just started attending playschools” had almost a very similar predicament in their minds. Their kids bite. Not just their nails, but the other kids. The doctor was smiling away, and said that until it may not be too physical and violent, this biting gesture can be interpreted as mere excitement. A toddler, who has been in his confined quarters of his safe haven, has started exploring the outside world, through these playschools. And the presence of people of his same size doubles his excitement… and funnily, or sadly, some kids express it through biting. Remember, some of the grandparents bite the little one’s fingers out of excess love. So, if it’s running in the family, don’t blame just the little one .

• Another hot topic was “sibling rivalry”, with me being a conspicuous victim. Well, it’s a clichéd one, but the doctor just said to be conscious of not showing favor to just one of your kids. Learn to appreciate when the siblings have been coloring, or sharing or having fun together, even if it’s for just a few minutes. And start ignoring their fights. You don’t need to listen to all their complaints, though you should not put a deaf ear to their squabbles. It’s just that you pretend that you are no longer interested in their fights, and it would reasonably reduce their petty fist-fights. Remember, kids just want your attention, and they do it either by crying or making others cry. If they understand that the parent is no longer interested, they wouldn’t even bother!!

• School –going kids face another major hurdle. Bullying !! When in the school bus, there are more chances of being bullied by older kids, and that was one bone of contention during our session.
While some parents advocated self-defence, the doctor was totally against it. She asked to discourage any kind of non-verbal violence. I couldn’t totally agree to it, because self-defence might even be due to instigation. But then, opinions do differ from person to person.

• There was one more point to be adhered to parents who have latch-key kids. New term? Well, that’s what kids who have the keys to house are called. With increasing competition, and with both the parents sweating their energy out in their respective careers, there are some seldom cases of having no choice, except to give the house keys to the kids, and for them to manage all on their own, until the parents are back home. A shocking incident of a 14 yr old, who attempted suicide due to full-blown depression, really shook our hearts. And while the doctor dug into his past, his childhood was a complete independent one, right from being a latch-key kid to having a television in his own room. The communication channel between him and the adults withered down through the years, and his studies affected. This resulted in depression, followed by an attempt to end himself. And he did that by consuming all the tablets existing in the house. Well, it’s not surprising that he helped to medication by himself whenever he got sick, because the parents were a “bit” busy. A sad yet a thought-provoking incident. While am not against working moms, all I can suggest is that kids should always be under adult supervision, be it grandparents or even reliable maids. But remember, no one can beat parent’s attention.

• There were even more points to be noted and shared…but if I did that, it would be no less than a short epic. So, maybe I would come down with another post, continuing to share more about parenting myths and woes.


And with so many enlightening things on parenting, there was just one suggestion which stayed in my heart for a long time.
Don’t rush your kid’s childhood.
Don’t be in a hurry to raise your kids.
How true !!

Revel in those precious moments, and life’s really as good as a baby’s priceless smile.

Happy parenting !!!

The art of raising !!

It was Feb 9. The television was looming large with “My name is Khan” movie promotions. Well, you know SRK. He’s all over the place. Not that I mind. But there was one tagline which caught my eye “In 3 days time, Rizwan khan will know that there are two kinds of people in this world, Good and Bad”.

I looked at my younger one. All I could think of was “For a three year old, he already knows that there are two kinds of people in this world, Boys and Girls.” You heard it right !!! I couldn’t help but chuckle.

The other day, I was reading an article called “ Honey, I shrunk their childhood.” It was all about how the next-gen kids have no longer the so-called starry-eyed childhood, when even simple things used to surprise them. Kids are cooler now, with cooler gadgets, books, schools and even cooler attitude. So what if India is Hot?? The kids are cool at least. But, seriously, raising kids in the present days involves so much of an attention-to-detail that Good parenting has become a kind of degree conferred to the hard-working parents.

In the same process, for me, life is a complete whirlwind of activities. Despite having two kids of the same sex, I have everything different in my house. Such different individuals , they are !! Starting from the gene factor, of who resembles whom, to the shopping factor too, both my sons are as different as chalk and cheese.

As I started on, my younger one knows that he’s a boy now. And that girls are something to be blushed over. Time for me to roll my eyes. One day, he comes home triumphant with an important announcement to make. He is selected for the annual day dance. Well, that was the announcement… the important part was that he was paired up with two girls on either side. He chuckled, he blushed and I asked him if there was any other boy to rescue him. He joyously answered in the negative. Naari naari naduma murari ???

Some trying times also come with the idiot box too. I meant the TV !! Common knowledge for moms and dads, kids love to watch advertisements more than the actual program, until and unless if it’s an Elmo or a Mickey. So, anyway, their love for ads increased as they started classifying each product for each kind of people. Well, there are more classifications in my 3yr old dictionary. There are anyway boys and girls. But it’s more important to understand that there are big boys and girls,(ie; adults) and kids ( his elder bro) and babies (himself !!). Could somebody please explain that babies can’t go yakkity-yak and declare themselves as babies? I tell my younger son that he is no more a baby, as he not only stopped wearing diapers, but also knows how to wear his shorts all by himself. But that only makes him sad and says that if he’s not a baby, then Krittika and Janani are also not babies. Who? The same girls he’s going chayya-chayya with, on the school annual day. OK !! I didn’t really want to break my baby’s heart by telling him the harsh truth that he’s growing up. Hmmm….

Some embarrassing situations with the kids also prop up when they watch some unwarranted ads like Whisper or Durex, and ask me as to who will use them. Do I have an answer? I pretend to be busy !!!

And then, the shopping woes. While my elder one is so simple with his clothes, that he is ok as long as I don’t buy him either pink or purple. "Those colors are for girls, mom"… he declared a long time ago. That’s ok !! At least, he isn’t as choosy as his kid brother. My younger one has such shopaholic genes running through his blood ( no, not mine !!... his father’s !) that he simbbbbly loves going to malls. He tries on all the tees which he finds fanciful, but the main struggle occurs when he irritatingly discards his old tee-shirt and chooses to walk out in the brand-new shirt. I glare at my husband and he lovingly looks at his junior. So much for the gene pool !!!

Now that my 6 yr old started going to tennis, my younger one has to accompany me and wait for that one hour in the tennis court, watching his elder brother play his favourite game. When I asked him if he would also play in a couple of years, he said “No mama, I would play cricket”. I was astonished, but wait… why should I be surprised? It’s my husband’s exact copy am talking with !! It was such a cute moment that I couldn’t resist calling his papa and telling him the same.

The differences among the brothers just doesn't extend in looks...

One likes Rice, the other chapathis.

One likes Pasta, the other noodles.

One likes Books, the other looks.

One likes girls, the other too thankfully likes girls. Ain't I gay for that? Err... i meant happy....

And so, with days rolling into years, I find myself having the most busiest weekdays ever. The inevitable lunches, their extra-curriculurs, their homeworks, ... everything is a big routine now. I just fondly remember those wonderful days, when the kids were still infants, when I could sleep as long as I could, not worrying what to cook for their lunches the next day.

Oh wait, did I mention that they need different things in their respective boxes too ?? Am not relenting though,... Am tough with them !!! :P

Gotogo now, need to make potato for one and paneer for the other !!! :D

The worst investments!!

What kind of parents wouldn't agree to spend more than what they can afford for that special glint in their little one's eyes? Hmm..hard to not find them. Isn't it ? Well, over the years ( 6 to be precise) and with the experience of raising two boys, with the younger one too on the verge of his toddler years ... I would like to list out those times when I invested in the wrong places !! They may be just pennies, but are worth listening and laughing about .. Read on...

• Balloons !! So, you were having a stroll down the beach and your kid squeals in delight for the balloon guy. Undoubtedly, the worst investment in my case atleast. Even before I rake my purse for some change, I can hear a pop, followed by "Oops, I want another one !!" Rolling eyes and promises that I would never spend money and see it burst right in front of the eyes continue...but yeah, arent't promises are meant to be broken ?

• Play-dohs !! After scores of play-doh boxes (edible clay which is supposedly used for playing and modelling structures) in the US, and after having a trying time scraping that stupid clay out of the carpet, I vowed not to buy them again once back in India. But, another promise meant to be broken, I recently bought them which had this special machine which helps the clay come out in different shapes and sizes. Well, kids being kids, toddlers or not, my boys still don't know the right utilisation of the toy, and mixed all the 3 basic colors and turned it into one huge lump of slimy *&it-looking color ball. To top it all, they eject all that from the machine and my younger one says, "Look mama, that's the dinosaur's potty !!". Good point !! Why did I even buy this *&*t !!!!!!

• Toys ! Not the entirety, but there are some toys which you secretly wished you never bought them. Well, there are two situations when you buy toys.

1) When the kid screams at the top of his lungs in a supermarket and when you don't want to get more embarrassed.

2) When the kids pick up their choice of toy and coyly put it along with the other goods, without your knowledge, and then you can't even say no because of the price, after it's billed.

But yeah, after all, they are your own offsprings... so what's there in a toy? But, the point here is, the kid tosses it in his blue or pink or whatever bin as soon as he reaches home and declares that he didn't actually like it. GOD HELP !!!

• Supermarket woes cannot be just singled out. There are just too many. Especially there are too many emotions and those 7 deadly sins churned out at the market out there. Surprised ? Read ahead for more details.

1. Greed : The kid gets greedy suddenly as soon as you reach the candy bars aisle. Even if your intentions was to sneak in one dark chocolate for those dull, moody afternoons for yourself, you can't help but dish out those M&Ms (their name even sound like twins to me !!) or those oh-so-soft marshmallows.
2. Gluttony : Why else do we go to a supermarket? To feed the gluttons in us... dont we??
3. Envy : This happens to parents. It's a common feeling among parents that the other kid is more quieter. You get suddenly envious of the coodling infant in someone else's pram, lost in his own world, while you have your own little toddler screaming and squealing.
4. Sloth : After all the sugary and high-soda diet even before you reach the billing counter, your toddler is either hyperactive trying to pull your hair off (actually you don't need help in this matter..you are doing it already !) or just sits like a sloth, wailing to get back home.
5. Pride : There are some remarkable situations when your heart swells with pride. And that's when your kid reads out aloud alphabets from the cartons, while the friendly stranger gives a nod of silent approval. Bliss !!!
6. Lust : This is for you, those fashionistas !! Am talking about the bodily lust.. dont get me wrong dearies, lust can even be for that unwanted purchase of a new perfume or a brand-new lipstick. Another bad investment for moms !! Didn't you know that babies are miracles? They can instantly replace the sweet smell of the perfume with even-sweeter smell of diapers?? And lipsticks are all over your face and the kids bibs too ??
7. Wrath : After a supermarket tour, the toddler tag is definitely going to get you enough of the store owner's wrath. How else can you explain all those fallen cookie tins, neatly arranged in a hill? None else but your toddler, who wanted only the bottom-most one? Can anyone please explain him that all the tins are the same ? Or if no one can't , please explain the store people that there's no need to plant hills and trees in a store which invites kids !!

The list goes on !!

All you moms, no offense here... I was just trying to tickle your funny bone.

Just remember, motherhood is wonderful. That's one investment your husband wouldn't regret for life !! :D

The year that was !

2009. A year to remember.
It wasn't just another year for me. Major changes and upheavels, and even more major moves in my life. As a mom too, it wasn't just another year. Life changed for the better.

• For starters, my kids turned a year older.
• There are no more diapers to change.
• There are no more feeding bottles to sterilise.
• There's more place on our bed now.
• There's more time for myself due to the kids' schools.

Ok !! so what's the downside ? Everything has to have another face. And so does all the above changes too. Let me just jot down all the issues I've dealt with them over the last year.

• Turning another year older just means more and more questions, some embarassing, some remarkable !! Turning another year older just doesn't mean another candle on their birthday cake... it also means that they look forward to their birthdays even more than us. When they were babies, birthdays were celebrated just for the parents fancy, amidst a very-crying and confused birthday boy. But now, they decide what cake they want, what theme they like and even the dress. Birthdays now are more an enjoyable event instead of some gruelling task, because there are more hands to share and more heads to plan.
• Another year also means doing things all by themselves. Starting with toothbrush, to cleaning their own #$** , to bathing and eating and tying their own shoe-laces, to going to the nearby shop and buying chocolates for themselves. Wow, so many tasks for their little body and brain. While some tasks are still to be achieved, some are done to almost-perfection. Doesn't this prove that they are a year older?

• Diapers are now a distant past. With two kids having less than 3 yrs of age difference between them, I spent the last 5 and odd years on diaper changing. First for the first one and the second baby followed. The three main ingredients on my shopping list were

1. Diapers
2. Wet wipes
3. and more diapers.

Now that both are off-diapers, it feels so weird to travel along with them with just my handbag!! Well, the downside is the constant search for hygienic washrooms in malls and the seldom bed-wettings. Hmmm, I'll let another year to pass by to write that bed-wetting has also almost diminished !!

• Milk !! Since I was a student-mom during my first delivery, I had to depend on formula milk for my elder son. Formula not only included those expensive milk powders, but also included redundant cycle of cleaning, washing and sterilising those feeding bottles. The process, which couldn't be stopped even for a day made me do the same thing for almost 5 yrs again, akin to diapers. That stopped too. Suddenly !! My younger one, seeing his older brother wanted to drink from a cup like big boys !! And so, mukti from the bottles saw the light.

• Another milestone this year is a major one. How can I miss this one? The kids sleeping all on their own, in their own bed , in their own bedroom, the entire night, all by themselves !!! OK...am going overboard. But the point here is, yes... they have shifted to their rooms and I suddenly find my bed a bigger place. The irony is that I spent the first few nights making rounds from their room to ours, making sure that my puppies were intact. Insomnia almost crept me, not being able to digest this sweet fact. Not to mention, I've spent some nights sleeping along with them in their room, when my younger puppy wailed in sleep. But the point ? My kids have grown. Move over !!!

• And, with my younger one joining playschool too, I have more time for myself now. It might be for a mere three hours, but it helps me get recharged. No doubt about it. But, do I have to mention that their schools make me wake up at 6'o clock in the morning, prepare snack and lunch boxes, get them ready and bid them goodbye !! Phew.... the mornings have now a gruelling schedule and to think that this routine wouldn't change for atleast another decade or so, makes me yearn for weekends at least. Those two days are the only days when I can kick back and laze around in my bed for as long as I can. Poor me !! But it's worth it. And am not the only mom who's doing this !! So, just stay put.

And so, this new year will see my elder one turn 6 and my younger one 4.
Two boys.
Varied interests.
Same parents. Lol.

Wishing the coming year to be an even more eventful one, with my elder one's music classes and my younger one's impending cricket sessions. Was life a calm one before the kiddos? I seriously doubt so. In fact, I don't remember much.

Wishing everyone a very happy new year and hatsoff to all the moms !! Every year is important for your kids development and only mommies know that we cannot rest until they fly off to their own homes. Even then, we look forward to even more new years, anticipating life to come to a full circle. Don't we ?

Ciao, my dearies..... Cya in the new year !!!!

Fighting the blues...

Its raining men !! Hallelujah...
No, am not singing to Geri's tunes, but this is what is happening to most of the friends I know. Naaa... am not talking about dating or mating ! Am talking about tomorrow's men, that's the baby boys most of my friends gave birth to, in the recent times.

I still stand by the statement, "Be it a boy or girl, it's only the motherhood which one needs to endure". The sex of the baby is the least thought of, when you are a new mom. The only thing which goes on your mind is the supply of diapers, the stock of lotions and powders and the shots your baby should't skip. The first few months are so overwhelming that the post-natal blues are bound to hit almost any normal woman. (If you happen to hear anyone saying she didn't find it depressing even for one moment, then she must have been the worst-hit victim!! Trust me).

Problem # 1 :

Am done with them. What ? Diapers....

The biggest challenge any parent faces. Not to mention about the amount of fertiliser my younger one now sprays into my house plants. But seriously, my kids are completely off-diapers. But this was just after 5 years of my constant changing of those smelly things. First my elder one, and then his younger bro.

Life now seems more blissful. But I had my worst times too. The worst being, when I was travelling all alone from India to Singapore along with a 2.5 yr old toddler and a 3 month old infant.

Both on diapers.

Both on bottles.

Both at their crankiest best.

And to make it worse, I was given this very first seat (). for more leg space and that stupid bassinet to fit in, which my infant anyway wouldn't sleep inThis made me do umpteen number of rounds to the toilet in the rear. Oh, only I remember how difficult it was to smile at all those other girls around, while I had to make those innumerable rounds to change their smelly **it.

Fighting it :

Well, diapers have no subsitute. In fact, I rate it as one of the best inventions 21st century has ever seen. The stench can still be handled. I prefer it to washing an actual soiled nappy cloth. It's just more taxing on your hubby's wallet, but that's one thing no mom should compromise !!



Problem # 2

And then , my weighty problems. I was laughing the other day when my best friend ( who's a new mommy now) was bursting in anger about how slim I am looking now. I may not be at my slimmest best, but I completely understand how a new mom feels about her body. The confidence is at the least. You are always heavy, always hungry and always cranky. While the cute little fella is sucking out all what you eat, you feel as-ravenous-as-you-never-ate for every couple of hours. You don't want to eat because of that huge image in the mirror, but you can't just let go off those guilt trips too. I know i know...very frustrating.

I have to mention here that I gained a whopping 28kg during my first pregnancy and while I slowly managed to shed atleast 20kg off that mommy tummy, I got preggers again helping me regain all that weight all over again. By the time I was a mother of two, I secretly thought of donating all my western wear for charity. I wouldnt fit in any of my pants anyway, but those tees only made me look even more flabby. I still remember how I used to cover them with my dupatta or so.

Fighting it:

Slowly and steadily, I started to lose weight. And this time, I was more determined. Since I was done with the stork thing, I had to get back to my older self. I had to get back the confidence in myself. Am not just talking about looking slim. It's all about recouping and regaining that healthy girl in you. There wasn't any diet regime I followed or a rigorous gym routine. The days were anyway packed with complete set of acitivities with a toddler and an infant. Everything seemed to double. Expenses, joy and work. Though it took a toll on my mental health, my weight slowly started to diminish. After almost 6 years, am now back to where I was. Even slimmer and more healthier. Thanks to my older one's tennis or my younger one's constant naughty play, am always on my toes. And then, special thanks to Shilpa shetty and her yoga. If not her body, am atleast dwelling in the peace that yoga gives me every morning.



Problem # 3

And yes, the most depressing part of my motherhood was the non-existent career. For which I cried endless nights when the babies were fast asleep. The entire day was so busy with them that I sometimes used to forget about me not going out for work or do something for myself. But, when the house was all in a hush, then used to flood my endless gush of emotions. Those years I toiled to complete my B.tech (despite my wedding), those dreams of becoming something big in the corporate world, which everything just being a far-fetched dream. The kids were too young to let go and the guilt pangs couldn't be fought over. I have a few set of friends who are in the reverse situation as mine. To do or not to do. To think of quitting a job because of the kid or not. Well, everyone is entitled to opinion. But, am very sure that despite the compulsive decision of leaving the kid and going out.. the new mom's mind won't have anything else other than the new-born. The career now takes a second seat and any mommy won't mind the new obsession at all. My only suggestion is to think with the mind and not the heart. I've seen many women quitting their jobs for their babies, and then fighting depression due to their non-existent career.

Fighting it :

Don't do this to yourself. Quit a full-flowing career only if you are entirely sure of. Otherwise too, babies thrive. A routine should be established and its a bet that you would pamper the baby even more when you have missed around 8 hrs of his day. It's entirely OK. Don't let guilt overcome you. Later, you need to feel bad when you pass through your old office memories, while your kid is busily scurrying or scribbling or blabbering or not just listening to you.

As for me, am at rest. Though I don't have a full-time career going on for me, it's time I stop thinking that am jobless. After all, am doing the world's toughest job. And to me, the joy of my kids running back to me after school hours is definitely worth the entire effort I put up with. I have my writings too and this blog, which gives me this wonderful feeling that I am worthy to be read.

Work hard to fight any depression. Babies never like dull moms.

You can fight it. After all, motherhood isn't as tough as it seems to be. It's just very very indulging.

I forgot my blues. The world is greener to me now. :)

Made to order

The dull sound of the wet grinder was looming low from the kitchen. Tomorrow’s breakfast was slowly making its shape in the machine. Meanwhile, my elder son ( who’s almost 6) had a burning question in his tiny mind. ..

Kid : What’s for morrow’s snack box?

Before heading upstairs to retire for the day, he makes it a habit to come down to the kitchen to ask the million-dollar question. He observed the batter being made and declared
Kid :“Nice ! So , morrow’s idli.”

His large beam about his favorite breakfast made me frown.

Me : “Close enough baby. It’s dosa”

Now it was his time to frown.

Kid : "I don’t like dosa in the box. It’s more like a papad !”

I rolled my eyes and looked at my maid. She agreed in unison.

Maid : “Yeah, he left the dosa and ate all the jam last time”.
Oh, this is something I somehow missed, I thought.

Kid :“I just want idli and sugar with ghee”

I eyed on the left-over rice I just cooked for dinner. I thought of making a remix version of the rice, adding some of his favorite paneer.

Kid : “Uh No! Paneer is only for lunch, mama”.

I wanted to convince him, while his daddy dearest came to rescue. He stared at me and said,
Dad :“ You are gonna put this left-over rice for morrow?? No way !” .
I wanted to throw some water on my husband’s face for giving unwarranted suggestions and making my already-difficult task even more difficult. Instead, I just washed my own face. Anger management.

I turned to my kid, who was still waiting for today’s answer about morrow’s breakfast.
Me :"Okay baby, I’ll make you a sandwich."

Kid :"No, That’s what I ate today."

Oh my God, This kid is starting to become impossible. But, frankly and secretly, . I started liking the way he was interacting with me like an adult. I was soo enjoying this Man-to-maam talk.

Me : "That’s fine, I’ll do something in the morning. Don’t worry."

Kid : "Ok..but please don’t put papad dosa.."
I giggled and nodded.

And then, did I mention that I was dreaming of swirling dosas and angry mutters on my face the entire night? Funny dreams, I say.

Nature won't stop and so dawn broke and so did the suspense. I made upma. A breakfast which he just started to develop his taste for, apart from his western appetite of PBJ sandwiches and pastas.

Once ready, he saw me fixing his box.

Kid : “ Cool… and yeah, could u put that tomato ketchup on a separate plate and not over the upma? “

Gosh !! I wanted to tell him that’s not the right combination, but what the heck? The same kid who used to make me literally break down into tears and frantically search for websites for increasing the kid’s appetite ( when he was a toddler) is now ready for “made to order”. And mama chef is more than happy.

Am still searching for those websites. This time, its for my younger son.(who’s 3 yrs old) But, maybe its time I realize that he would outgrow his lack of appetite soon enough and start ordering me what to cook, in a year or so, following his brother. I just fervently hope that their tastes match. Or else, you would be finding me making sandwich for one box and dosa for the other. Heheh.

The chronicles of Schoolnia...

And so, the little warriors of my house, who used to be a little less than bringing the entire house down with their antics, are now ready to face the world. Already? Their schools started, and so I thought.

The first day, as you read earlier, has been less eventful than we anticipated. Everyone were satisfied, and the routine of me waking up at the wee hours of 6am(every single day, without fail).. only made me sleepless for a little while, until I got adjusted to the routine. Trust me, I never woke up as early as I do now even when I was preparing to be an engineer!! Aaah... those were the days... Despite me knowing that I had to catch the college bus by 7.30 am, I couldn't drag myself out of my nest before 7'O clock. Now I know how was this possible, with mom waking up atleast an hour before me, and toiling herself in the kitchen for my lunch-dabba, while I used to have early morning dreams about my Prince Caspian !!!

Yes, History repeats... and it did very early in my case. While the rest of the girls are still honeymooning or contemplating about their first kid, I have two major trouble-makers tugging along me the entire day, and with piles of worksheets (already for the kg standard !!).No complaints to that... but, look who's complaining? It's my mom who says that am not making my presence to their house ( despite me being in India)...but my stand on this?? "The kids need to attend schools, Ma... their holidays are mine now"... And my mom sulks. History as I said repeated, with she getting nostalgic about her mommy who used to have the same complaint. Full Circle !!!

So, how are the little princes coping up with this huge change? Pretty well. Touchwood. Especially, I am really glad I came back at the right time ( to India)...their teachers say that they are in the most flexible age, and when I visited their school and happened to sneak in their assembly.... I was really proud of my decision to give them a proper Indian education when they were crooning loudly to "Jana gana mana" !! An awesome patriotic feel, which cannot be bought abroad. :D... No offense to all the NRI's... You are an Indian wherever you are. ;)

My older one is the class leader...Did I mention that? Am I proud? Am more surprised actually. But, he seems to be a very different being when he goes to school. And since he has a better knowledge on phonics( this I should rightly attribute to his American schooling).. he's given the responsibility of distributing books to his classmates and since he's the tallest, he takes care of the blackboard. Nice !! But, I was still anxious if he's making any friends yet. And so he did. A certain Subbalakshmi.... I split into peels of laughter. Not only the name sounded very much like the 50's, but also a telugu girl in the land of Odisha !! Hmmm..Tej seems lucky.

And the younger one? He's having a ball with his Mona Darling aka Mona miss. He was obviously smitten with the delicate looks of his nursery teacher, but little did he know that his dreams shattered when she tied him a Rakhi. I was saved that day bcoz he didnt know the meaning of rakhi. He thought it was a gift from his mona darling, and refused to remove the "love band" (according to him) even the next day. Talk about puppy love !!! heheheh

And so, amidst those weekly worksheets and monthly mandatory Parent-Teacher meetings and with the daily routine of my 6 hourly sleep... all I long is for the weekend, where the kids have a bit more of the usual TV dosage and me tucking for a bit longer in my nest. This time, the dreams aren't about any prince Caspian. After 3 of them in my life now, I realize that these chronicles are never-ending. :) Ciao for now. Morrow's the weekend. I gotta REST !!!!!

Education Unlimited !!

Well, the wait is finally over... The day has finally come. No, am not talking about some jackpot in the casino... Am talking about the couple of hours I finally get to myself each day, as my little ones strut their way to their school.

Before proceeding any further about their first day in school, let me mention about the admission test they encountered with the principal a few weeks earlier. My elder one( who already has 2 yrs of schooling experience... I am talking as if he is eligible for MBA, coz of 2 yrs of work experience..hehe) But, come on...he's just 5 yrs...and has been going to preschool since he was three, both in Singapore and The US of A. So, I was little worried about him and more ecstatic about the younger one. My second son, who will turn 3, was so happy with the word "school".... we wondered if he misheard it. But, then...he happily went along with the admission test(which included color identification and alphabet and he proved triumphant.) You should see me beam with happiness. My heart swelled with pride and my husband reminded me.. "SShh... They are just going to kindergarten, not to a university!!" But, anything needs a beginning. And I was truly happy for them. But, the cute thing was... my younger one brought along his doctor-set without anyone's knowledge, and was taking out one by one from his pocket. They were like this "kalpataru", a never-ending process. And the funny part was, he began to describe each tool's color, so the test never took off formally. The principal had an inkling of what he knew, and immediately gave her consent for admission. But, to avoid any more embarassment, I now check his pockets before leaving the house. God knows, he might put some live frog or an insect and pull it out on his plate at a restaurant !! Eeeeooow !

So, the next task was to order uniforms and buy shoes for both of them. What a cute experience!! Nothing definitely beats it. What's even more funny is that my husband (who is major fashionista) didn't like the style of the uniform for the nursery kids, and wanted 'something different' for his little prince. I sheepishly reminded him that everyone has to wear the same kind, and so is called a uniform....and my husband reluctantly went along with the tailor ( who couldn't even spell 'nursery' in his book... who cares? He needs to sew properly... so he was saved when we got the uniforms a week later in proper shape).

And the day finally came. And so I thought. My kiddos, who usually tuck into their beds by 10pm... were forcibly being slept by 8.30pm. Their brushes, the shower and the night story...everything was rescheduled an hour earlier than usual, with the major thing coming up in their lives: Waking up as early as 6 am, and going to their temple of education.) So, the kids were being frantic with the schedule and weren't too ready to adapt the new timing. I was very tensed about the right amount of sleep and was having a tough time getting them to bed. That was when my husband calls up and says " Don't worry, the schools are postponed for the next week, due to the excess heat wave!!" Kambakhth heat !! I swore... I was angry...and finally slept off an hour later... My dreams of having an hour for myself have been temporarily shelved, and though it was seeming funny for my hubby dearest, I was just angry for the next half-day or so. (Mind you, my anger and temper are the shortest ones anyone can encounter...so this had to be the longest... ). Another week of waiting, only to realise that they are postponed until the weekend and would start the next monday. By now, the excitement did a plunge downwards and we were just hoping fervently that the heat wave would also take a downward plunge, allowing my day-dreams to turn true.

And, so it did happen.. The kids were thrilled. I was amazed. And my husband was happily taking the video of "My kids' first school". The video had smiling faces, statements like 'feeling on top of the world', but little did anyone know what's in store actually. There were these two-legged awkward creatures, wailing and wallowing all around. First day...seemed something gargantuan for the entire school staff and the parents' presence made it even more cumbersome. My younger one, who suddenly realised that school is "not too much fun and no more mama", wailed like a hurt puppy and clung on to me so badly that I was tempted to take him back. Wait !! My husband reminded me of my good ol school days ( where storm or sun wouldn't deter the great shanthi from going to school)... Are you the same one who is now ready to let her kids bunk school because they are not ready?? I said, YES !! Am the same one.... and then let my emotions not flow along the tide. My puppies were shoved into their respective kennels and my bulldog was waiting by the car to drive away. I quickly realised that if I don't board the car, I would be left stranded with the other dogs, and so I had to follow the bulldog, I mean my husband.

After an emotional drama , which wasn't any less than a saas-bahu saga... we waited near a coffee-shop nearby, just in case we hear from the school staff about any mishap. Luckily, we did'nt hear any and I was just waiting to get back to my whimpering offsprings.' They did pretty OK for the first day' was the statement issued by their respective 'miss'es... and I couldn't ask for more.

That's how we finally sent our sons to ensure they shine like suns. What a statement!!! Come on, any mom will get overboard.. be it their KG or PG.
After all, they are still her sons !!!

Miles to go before I sleep ...

Raising another human being is definitely a huge task... and especially, when it's your own... you are always overwhelmed with mixed feelings... To do or not to do!!

With two sons, having a mere 2.5 yrs of an age difference, my life is definitely blended into their routine. Their feeding, the showers, the manners...every single detail has to be looked in with the utmost care. Overwhelmed, tired or aything...life wouldn't stop. My kids are actually growing at such an amazing pace ( I mean.. i know every kid does..but when it's your own one, you tend to actually compare them when they are still in their diapers too... trust me, it can't get anymore bigger than my mother still recollecting all the toys she used to buy for my baby brother, who is now a 25 yr old handsome dude ! ) Strange are the ways of mom... Right ?

The other day, I was trying to organize the videos and the old pictures of my kids. What a joy swept over my mind when I was watching my older kid(a 9 month old baby in the video) trying to crawl for the first time and laughing at himself hilariously. It was as if it just happened yesterday. And its more than four years now.

As I realised, the various milestones in any baby's life are best recorded in a parent's mind..you actually don't need any handycam in handy..but then, a picture is worth a thousand words... and so are the memoirs of a diaper clad baby..when you actually have the same kid trying to solve complicated puzzles out of a kids' website. What's more funny is, my older one was asking who that funny baby was, and wasn't ready to accept that it was himself in those videos. He laughs at them saying how could he be so small ! The same question, I ask myself. When did he grow so big as to ask me if it's ok to watch the TV a little longer than the scheduled time??

First the milk bottle, then the diapers... I think these are the most challenging phases for any mom to help the baby fight off their addiction. I am the happiest one these days, with even my younger one fighting his bottle off. You won't believe, it's the first time in 5 years that my routine of sterilising the bottles has come to a standstill. BLISS ? You bet... :)

I've always maintained that a mom's best friend is a diaper. But, the euphoric feeling when your kid actually struts proudly with his diaper off, saying that he just hates it... is definitely unparalleled. I still remember the day, when my first kid went outside for the first time without a diaper. It was only for an hour, but I was more scared of having an accident than being happy. ( We were in Singapore and were travelling in a train, which had no toilets either. You should see my scared face, and my husband laughing at me the entire journey... ). After a successful one hour of no-show of the double p's, I've decided to put on the pull-up pants. Come on, my tension actually escalated to hyper-tension. But it was just a start. More days passed on without any accidents, and my tension just slowly descended to my younger one. Phew!! This time, I was a bit less worried... Experience baby! To look at it, if I had a third baby, I wouldn't make her wear a diaper even when she's an infant too,(only if I had one,..not that I have any ideas of getting the stork yet again..)

Then, the first tooth... what a joy to see a pair of upper teeth coming out of your baby, who had nothing but soft gums constantly chewing your hand. If only the moms knew that these teeth could be the main reason for most of the kid fights (HE BIT ME.... i think that's the most commonest dialogue found among kids' chaos).

I also wonder if this was the same kid who couldn't just hold a pencil, is trying to read stories out of cereal boxes. My older kid has the prettiest handwriting(that's what every mom feels.. i know i know).. and my younger one already started writing his first A. No one can feel it better than a mom about the first alphabet her kid wrote. Nothing can beat it...

I also remember how silly of me it was, to call up my husband and merrily tell him that Tej drank his juice out of a straw. It was such a big achievement, more so, when his girl-friend, who was a couple of months older than him, already was drinking from a straw from six months!! Such silly details can only be understood by a mom...hehehe

And right now, my back is hurting. With the endless rounds trying to make my 5 yr old son ride his bicycle without any support. His father, as if he did a favor, took off the support wheels one fine weekend, and declared that his son is ready to take off the bicycle. As if he was a trained pilot!! And the 'fine' is now on my poor back. But it's ok... This is another milestone. Who shall be happier than me when I actually find my son riding his bicycle all on his own, and fumes on his mom not to follow him( when he says that he's a big boy, and all the girls will laugh at him if I tried to follow him) Am actually waiting, or more so..my back is.

With all these milestones to be cherished, I slowly realise that there are so many 'miles' to go before I sleep. While you slowly help your child outgrow their childishness, you slowly grow into a child yet again,...especially when you cherish their childhood memories. :)

Cherish, They only will bring a smile back on your otherwise monotonous life. Trust me!!!!

Measuring the "Stand"ard...

Yeah, we are back in India.

With my elder son turning 5, I needed to decide on the most important topic in my life for now - His primary education. Having attended a playschool in Singapore and a pre-K in the US, my son is ready to attend Std.1 in an indian school here. Funnily, I realize that he can atleast boast of going to playschools abroad, when he starts flirting around with girls.(He would know later that such tricks wouldn't work...but atleast he can try !!)

Anyway, with the admission test coming close by, it's me who's spending more sleepless nights. Forget the kid....he probably doesn't even know the spelling of competition. Lucky boy he is !

Okay, it was time for invading the bookshop for the UKG books. That's the syllabus he needs to prepare for getting into Class 1(obviously). And mind you, I had to search for the ICSE stream. Good heavens!! The kindergarteners in America just love to color. And here, there are 7 different Text books.. Shall I name them? Just in case... you desis forgot... Here we go..

1)Mathematics ( including additions and subtractions... whoooaaa)
2)Science (too many details to be included)
3)Social Studies ( Do these kiddos know the meaning??)
4)Rhymes (That's one department where I can shout "hurray")
5)Hindi (My kid is now struggling to accomodate two new languages in his little brain ...Telugu and Hindi !!)
6)English phonics (This is the only thing which Tej is familiar with)
7)Hindi Rhymes( Waaaaaaaaaaa..they seem like sad songs to me)

Okay Shanthi, no more comparing. You faced enough wrath when you compared the two world's education. So just focus on the India Standard....

So, u ask... how is my pre-k kid trying to "Stand" up to the India Standard?? Only time will tell....

And yeah the good news is, after a week long of acidity and insomnia.. I suddenly woke up today to realize that he can still attend the so-called UKG...if he would disqualify himself with this admission test. Atleast I don't need to cry along with him rhyming the unknown Hindi !!! His teachers would deal with that...

Am lovin it !!

I once read in a statistics which revealed staggering amount of money a woman might earn, if she was paid dutifully for her duties as a mom and a wife. I just laughed at the amount. Of course, you wouldn't expect anyone to pay you for what you did as a mom to your kids... but since it's just a hypothetical situation and imagination has always been a nice mind-feeder, so let it be.

Right now, am on a dependent visa status in the US, thus disallowing me to attempt any kind of outside job. I especially mentioned about doing a job outside, because my daily job of being a mom is no less than anything else. The average mom !! She can be a stay-at-home or a working one. But the duties of a mom can never be diluted. The diapers, the food routine, the manners, every single stage is itself a milestone. It just makes motherhood the busiest jobs on earth, with sweet payments like dirty diapers and sticky bibs and temper tantrums and to make it all the more sweeter, bundles of hugs and kisses from your little ones too.

Motherhood cannot be compared to anything less. Before motherhood struck me, statements like these seemed overrated to me. But as I continue to raise my two little sons, each day is a busy one as well as challenging too. Every moment I spend with the kiddos makes me feel the importance of the world's most important job. Great countries are made out of great men, and great men are made out of great mothers. So utterly true. Of course, the part of being a dad too is very important, but the way a kid connects to a mom, right from the placenta-uterus thing to the outside worldly emotional bond, it's just very much incomparable to any other relation in this world.

Talking about my mindset, I was a bit obsessed with my older one than with my second son. I still remember ironing and stacking my older son's clothes for the next 5 days, before I went and delivered my younger son. My mom was irritated with my over-enthusiasm, because that just meant that I wasn't ready to trust anyone when it came to my son's issues. But, it just wasn't about my trust on others, it was just a way of showing my enthusiasm with motherhood. I just loved doing everything for them, and I think it would never change for another 50 years or so. I can already visualise my sons being taller than me, tending their own families,... but for me, they will always be my babies.


With them being infants, I was busy minding their 2 hourly feeds, changing diapers often...very often, and despite all this, trying to find time for ourselves too. As the toddlerhood came on, I was busy watching them grow out of mashed food to big people's food... with half of the food lying on the high chair. Atleast, they know when hunger strikes them. Its just another issue if they cleaned their platter or not. Then came the school stage. My older one who attends pre-K has a bundle of questions packed in his tiny mind. As he attempts to read stories out of cereal boxes, his younger brother follows suit. In addition to minding his daily routine of school, food and studies... I am also busy minding my 5 year old son's worldly manners too. There is a passing phase in which the kid's favourite word is NO ! That's what is going on in my house right now. No for everything. I am just hoping that this passing phase would pass off soon enough, but wait, how did I forget my younger son who is in his terrible twos right now ?? The whole day is a busy whirlwind of activities with them, thus not even making me think of my non-existent career.

To put things straight, life has its ups and downs. Honestly, I faced a lot of depression during the early days of motherhood. Frankly, whoever would read this blog about motherhood and the sweet things I write should realize that they are just one face of a coin. The sleepless nights, the unnecessary wailings, the supermarket meltdowns (where you are forced to buy something very much unnecessary just because your little one wants it for that moment) ....all these are the other side of the coin.



With the entire day revolving around their crayons, spellings, short walks, I tend to get overwhelmed at a certain point of time with this daily routine. I crave for a certain amount of freedom and a little bit of "my-time" atleast by the evening. Honestly, there are times when I use TV as a bait when my younger one would throw temper tantrums during lunch-time. The food battles are best fought with the idiot-box, but I have to admit that it's no longer that idiotic as it started out to be. The terrible twos' stage is one thing to be watched out for. Toddlers tend to crave a whole lot of attention right after their second birthday. Even a calm baby tends to get unusually cranky and unnecessarily naughty. Toilet training, too is yet another major challenge to be meted out in this age itself. Another major issue is the supply of colors. They come in various shapes and sizes, namely crayons, markers, water-colors. Sometimes, it's hard to determine if the color on the pages is more than those on the walls. And the markers just seem to evaporate in 3 days max, making my rounds to the stationery department every single week. The play-dohs are fun to play with, yes of course.... but when they make a mark on your carpet, you secretly wish you would have never bought them. So you might as well ask as to why I am buying them. Well, my husband asks the same too. My answer ? If they never played with them and made a mess, how will they ever learn ????


Anyway, in an attempt to find solace amidst my crazy schedule with two naughty sons in tow, both me and my husband hit the fitness centre, which has a kids club attached to it. This little time-for-ourselves definitely helps us rejuvenate our senses back to normalcy, and helps in hitting my busy job yet again with even more enthusiasm.

With so many things involved and such little time for oneself, motherhood might be a staggering thing from the outside. But, once inside, as I started on... nothing would compare with the daily wages of kisses and hugs of your little ones.


Indulge in it, and one can never regret in being a mom. Of course, as life isn't too rosy, one has to put up with the downside too. But then, it's all in the mind. So. ... live it, enjoy it and say CHEESE !!

Go Play !

Have you ever been to a toy store ? No, this isn't only for the already-moms and dads... it's for the rest of the normal public too am asking... Please, i don't mean that moms and dads aren't normal.. its just that our lives aren't anymore once the kids are out... I know most of the parents would be grinning at this statement... atleast a nod please ???

OK ...coming back to my question, have you ever been to a toy store ?? Why ?? If you don't have kids ? Well, you could always gift other people's kids for their birthdays or so ... Well, you won't be in this league if you are one among those who give away gift cards (no offense, sometimes its better to gift a card than a toy you know would be returned ).. it doesn't need a browse into the kids haven !! But, if you happened to browse around and tried to look up for toys, you will be reading this article further too...

My point might still be very unclear... but let me continue anyway !
Whenever I browse around for toys, you will find me mostly around the neutral section ... My elder son likes doing puzzles, blocks, crayons..... I guess, they are for both the sexes... any kid just indulges in colors and building blocks. However, my younger son is a bit different from his brother and loves playing with cars too, and already has a huge collection of them.

It's a rarity that I go into the girls section though ...remember the gift card thing ???

However, I happened to go into the girls section for a pretty girl I wanted to buy a gift for. Firstly, it's all PINK ! An overdosage of the feminine color !
And then, the toys !!! Lemme explain ... There were doll houses, mock cleaning sets ( including a mop, brushes etc ) mock ironing set, doll prams, to name a few. I had to stop myself and check the whole section yet again .. they were just toys of all kinds for girls to become a perfect woman ( who cooks, cleans and raises babies !!) And then, I went to the boys section ... I was seriously hoping for a doll pram there too, atleast in the blue or grey shade... but they weren't any !! There were tool box sets, car sets, action figures !! Whoever said that a man wouldn't stroll his baby in a pram ??

Maybe, am thinking too much ! But, I was a bit shaken with this truth that we are engineering toys to be masculine and feminine... and so, while the girls get to do mock make-up and change diapers to baby dolls, boys are out to FIX things out ??

Now, you may ask if I would like my boys to play with dolls... Well, atleast they watch Dora the explorer and Diego with the same enthusiasm. (This is strictly parental lingo... the other normal public may ignore this statement ..hehe ) What am trying to say is that I wouldn't like my boys to have a taste of the already existing male-chauvinism so soon in their life. What's in a toy? Just to play, right ? Why should it be differentiated ?? With the chef-genes running in their blood, I would happily buy a kitchen set if my son asks me so.... maybe, the girl-child parents too should start buying GI Joes... whatsay ??

So, with the newer generation having great male chefs and female pilots, maybe its just time we reengineer the toys yet again. Just a small thought of mine.....
I hope "TOYS R" listening to "US" !!

Bullying the bully...

How often does a parent face a situation when your child is bullied by the other kids of his age at school or some place else, and when you find your kid waiting for someone to rescue him ??

Well, it happened to me yesterday, it might happen to you tomorrow too.

I was on this normal weekday routine, with me dropping my kids off at the kids club in my fitness centre, while I sweat out my calories. The club, as always, had a number of kids already doing various activities. As I was signing in my kids, I noticed a 3 year old boy bullying both my sons (One is almost 5 and the other is 2). The other kid was just trying to shoo my elder one away by intimidating him and shouting "NO" at him. Of course, what can you expect from my 2 yr old when his older brother himself was standing quietly ?? I stood for a while, not knowing how to react. I was just waiting for my older one to say something to the rowdy kid. But, he just stood there, and since I was still present, he was waiting for me to rescue him.

As my heart went out to my not-so-wild kid, I went and told him to react if anyone says No to him. He just asked me, "Do you want me to hit him back??" I was so taken aback that I really didn't have the answer. Would any parent tell her kids to hit back the others ? Isn't that a bad reaction ?? If so, then what's the good reaction ?? How do you ask a kid to react to others who try to intimidate them?? I mean, this is just a beginning. Though much isn't understood by their still-evolving brains, don't we elders know that it's a starting stage to face this big, mean world ??

Concluding their small-world fiasco, I told my son to ask the other kid to stop, if he finds it irritating. My older one just nodded meaningfully. I left them to their own rules, not intending to completely direct their lives, but it kept bothering me all the while, as i worked out in the gym.

But yeah, sometimes, we tend to think a lot for trivial issues. As I went inside the club to fetch my kids again, I saw my younger son ( who is super-friendly) doing his coloring and sharing them with the same bully-kid. My older one, however might have decided that it's best to avoid him, and I found him in another corner playing gleefully with another kid. Such a difference among my own sons itself.

However, as I noticed that the same kid was waving goodbye to my sons in a friendly manner, I realized that these kids aren't that dependent on us as we think of them. Sometimes, it's best to leave them to their own resort... preparing them for a more, real world. Sometimes, some things are best left unanswered !!! Don't you agree with me ??

How soon ?

Today, as I sit in my new apartment, a gleaming one with a cozier look and feel and enjoying the newest addition in my home, an LCD television.... I suddenly went through a phase every parent faces... the embarassing situation when you watch something on TV and realize that it's too late to switch the channel off when you see the look on your kid's face !!

I was having this rare time for myself, lazing around in the weekend watching an English movie(which was based on a true story) .... Frankly, I knew the story involved adultery, fraud and sex ... but since it was a late night one, I took a chance with the kids, only to realize the folly !! My elder one was just poking his nose around in the living room, trying to sneak in what particular movie he was asked to avoid !! I have to mention here that my first-born, who is turning 5 in three months time, is a fuzzy-logic kind of a kid with questions teeming constantly in his little brain. All his emotions, be it fear, excitement or a surprise are equally met with his constant-evolving brain. He makes sure he gets the answer for all his questions, and sometimes they tend to be a bit embarrassing.

You don't need to be a brain surgeon to understand the differences between raising a kid in the present day and in the past. Technology has advanced to such an extent, that sometimes it's just scary. All the information anyone needs is just a click away. Exposing your child to the computer has both it's pros and cons. For instance, on the other day, my kids were watching these Telugu nursery rhymes on youtube, and after a while, I caught my elder one opening another video altogether accidentally. ( his browsing skills are a bit amazing for a 4 yr old) . This made me realize the importance of my presence, while the kiddos browse around. But then, how often can I be with them ?? Will my presence only intimidate them as they grow, and turn out to be a hindrance for them to share what they want... instead of them sharing some intimate doubts with me??

Sometime ago, I actually watched an Oprah Winfrey show, where a famous gay footballer admitted his sexuality in the public. When asked by an elderly, seemingly conservative senior lady, about when he knew that he wasn't straight, his answer was a shocking one... He was just 5 yrs old when he knew he was gay !!
I just couldn't buy that, nor could any one of the spectators,....but why would that famous man lie anyway ??
The question now is, how soon is a present-day kid gaining knowledge about the taboo topic of sex ?? Is it OK for a school-going kid to get sex education soon enough? And when is it soon enough ?? As a parent of two sons, these questions sometimes drive me crazy !

Common knowledge is that raising a kid itself is a task, but sometimes I realize that having a girl is a more responsible thing. Not that I can just leave my sons in their own wayward way, but a girl makes you stay on your toes all day long, and am sure all the girl-child mommies might be nodding at this !!
I have a cousin who has a pre-teen daughter. She was relating an incident which was definitely a bit shocking to me. Her daughter had a slumber party for her 8th birthday, and one friend of hers was saying "Girl rule, Boys drool !!" ... Come on, give me a break ! This kid is just 8 years old, and she knows that boys drool ?? What does that mean to her little brain ?? Did she actually know the meaning or was she just mouthing those words she might have heard from someone older? She must be having the answer anyway, but it really haunts me until now. Well, frankly... how many of our generation people knew about boys drooling about the fairer sex ? Not until your teens atleast, but yeah,... the gen next kids are definitely something.

Coming back to the movie I was watching, there was this scene when the girl goes around in a slinky dress. My elder one, who is usually brimming with questions, just looked at me with a knowing look. The look on his face actually made me sleepless, which is why am writing this post at 2am on a weekend night. Why didn't he ask me anything ? What was going on his mind ? Maybe, am thinking too much. Or maybe, it's time I revisit my actions. I am not exactly saying that I would like my son to be illiterate about sex. It's an entirely natural process, which is definitely inevitable. But, I wouldn't like it to be this soon.

My contribution towards his worldly knowledge should be unbiased, and I would like to envision a future with a teenager trying to be super-cool with his mom,(whatever that means, hehe) instead of those awkward mom-kid situations. But yeah, am yet to fix the right time, where I can actually watch even my favourite serial (FRIENDS) with my sons not giving me that menaceful glance.

In the pink of health !

Do you remember writing letters, predominantly starting with "In the pink of health" ? I do !!!! Health is so important for any living being that the first thing you ask anyone is "How are you?"

With two kids at home, health is just a very important issue and the most-discussed one in our house. In fact, the most common topic among two moms would be a healthy baby and the various measures they take respectively for their babies.

With this, I would like to share some useful health tips for a healthy baby and a healthier you.

---> Germs, germs go away
With an infant still feeding on bottles, be sure to wash the milk bottles as soon as they drink from it. A mild soap is the best solution, followed with a sterilising routine.(Boiling them for 5-10 mins). And one more unheard tip?? Keep the sterilised bottles in the freezer until use. It's the most difficult place for germs to settle in.

---> The three-second rule.
Did you know that food dropped on the floor is still edible if it's picked within 3 seconds of the fall?? The food droppings is a very common sight in the houses of toddlers. They tend to have this uncanny habit of spilling anything and everything. But, this rule applies only if the floor is neat, and also the kids hands. You can't expect a food to be germ-free if your hands arent. Keep a soap-free sanitiser always at reach. The best way to kill germs. But please don't over-do it. As they say, too much of anything is good for nothing.

---> The right dosage
Feeding time battles are best fought with the kids favourite food popping up constantly on their plate. For instance, both my sons are major egg-fans and love to eat it daily. But a kid's weekly egg intake shouldn't be more than 3. Solution?? I divide a single egg into two. That way, they are getting 3 eggs per week, and they are happy too. Such small things should be regulated by a mom herself. Just browse through some popular kids food websites, and try to indulge them in the best foods, without actually spoiling their little tummies.

---> Leftovers and guilt trips
Eating healthy is a very important factor for a hale and healthy living. And it should start from childhood itself. The risk of an obese child turning into an obese adult is definitely more. Parents should develop the art of eating nutritious and wholesome foods, through which one can ensure healthy offsprings too. Stale food is never an option for kids, in fact...not for anyone. Did you know that food starts to degenerate as soon as you have cooked it?? So, think twice before you feed yesterday's leftover to your child. The little tummy definitely deserves much better!!

---> Cough cough !!!
Always be very careful while feeding small foods like grapes, nuts etc to your little ones. The risk of choking over smaller foods is definitely more, and the very thought is just very scary for any mom. It's best to avoid such things, but if you really want your kid to get their nourishement through nuts, please grind/blend them. Dont wait for a kid to choke on it and then take a first-aid measure pertaining to it. It isn't really worth it.

---> I love sugar, what do you like?
Some kids tend to overdo sugary foods in their daily intake. Honestly, my younger son is one such kid. He loves anything in the sweeter portion. That just tends to give him instant energy and he shows it by his constant jumping and running around. Well, I still have to work on balancing his daily food intake, blending enough veggies along with his sweetened meals. Any suggestions mommies ??

---> First-aid
A first-aid kit is a must-have in any house. Not only for the little members. But also, for the adults too. But yeah, when travel is an issue, the first-aid kit should be the first one to be on the packing list. A basic paracetamol would first help a parent survive any sudden illness in their child. And of course, moms know best about band-aids too. Kids, with their constant activity, tend to get more hurt in any given day. Adhesive bandages are the best solutions to be infection-free.

---> Weathering the changes.
Children are mostly prone to weather changes, and so do their health. Parents should be extremely careful during the FLU seasons, and should take proper measures for them. A FLU shot at the right time will help your home be free of the unnecessary colds and the nighttime coughs. Always make a note of all the vaccinations your child needs to get, and be sure to get them too. After all, prevention is better than cure !!

---> The right choice !
Kids exposed to activities like swimming pools tend to get infections easily, because most of the disease-causing germs are spread through water only. Moms should be extremely careful and should choose the right kind of place a child should go in for his extra-curricular activities. Make sure of the health measures taken by the club you send your child to.

---> Do I know you?
Another important tip !! You have to advise the little ones not to accept any kind of food from strangers. Its better to be paranoid than be dead.

And of course, to say the least, a mommy's health is very important issue too. An issue not to be neglected, an issue not to be taken lightly. Take care of yourself properly, so that your family has a good example to fall upon. You will definitely find a healthier home with a healthier you!!!

It worked for me !

Raising a child in the present, competitive world is a great challenge to any parent. Trying to put up with their tantrums, giving into their whims and fancies, adjusting to the next generation lingo, trying to bridge the gap between the generations, everything is a major task for a responsible parent.

I've seen many parents complaining about their kids in several different ways. They just don't eat right, they just don't sleep in the entire night, they don't listen to my words! The list is endless. Am not trying to be sattirical here, but don't we know that kids are a bundle of contradictions ? And most importantly, if we realize that our parents too have faced the same situation with us years ago, I think the level of frustration will remarkably go down in any parent. After all, it's the genes which is running in the blood, and their behaviour is nothing but a mirror reflection of ours.

Of course, there isn't a problem in this world without a solution. We just need to find that magic key to the problem, and life will be definitely easier. Am not trying to imply that I have the most angelic kids in the entire world. No one would believe it too. So, it isn't worth a try.... but, what I am trying to explain here are the little solutions I thought would make a mom's world happier. Read on.

---------> The day kick starts with the waking-up routine. The morning-time battles are best known to mothers who have school-going kids.
One great solution to avoid sleepy mornings is to tuck in the kids early in the night. And it should be developed as a habit. No exceptions to it in the weekdays.(If possible, for the weekends too). When the kids have their right amount of sleep according to their age, morning times wouldn't be a big struggle for both moms and kids.

---------> As a mom of a two and four year old, I know how irritating a child gets during the tooth-brush time. Kids under 4 yrs of age don't tend to co-operate with their brush routine, when ironically, their teeth should be the most-cared for, because of all the sugary stuff they eat through the entire day.
One nice solution is to count their teeth slowly while brushing, or sing a song of ABC's. Their mind will distract off their hatred towards toothbrush. Try it !

---------> Breakfast should be never be skipped for a kid.
Keep it light with a cereal or a single pancake or even a fruit.... if you are skeptical about his lunchtime. But yeah, when a kid skips his breakfast, he gets crankier and tends to give more trouble during lunch. So, its better he starts developing the habit of having more meals instead of just munching it once.

-----> A mother trying to feed a wailing baby tied to a high chair would be a very common sight in many homes.
A high chair is definitely a good idea, with table manners and discipline instilling in the kid pretty soon. But if the kid is unmanageable, it's better to give in to his routine and let him wander for a while, before he comes back to another morsel of food. If a mom is more keen on the amount of food going into the child's tummy than the food lying on the carpet, then the high chair can go in for a toss. Trust me, the kid can be diverted in some sort of a manner,....be it the TV or a fun educational website.

--------> Are you worried that your little one isn't having his right dosage of vegetables and fruits every day ? There's a solution ! Substitute the fruits with juices, and try to mash veggies into a lentil soup. Your kid doesn't need to know what he's eating, and you can be happy as long as the required thing goes into him. If he has a sweet tooth, try blending the mashed veggies with sweetened yogurt. It would serve as a great dessert and no kid would leave it.


---------> I think most of the moms would smile at this topic. The inevitable NO ! Which kid doesn't say no to anything we suggest? Atleast, it's my kids' favourite word.
NO to switch off TV,
NO to being quiet, NO to clean-up,
NO for everything.
Thanks to my elder son, my younger one follows suit. Of course, I do have the right key in my hand, for all their NOs. My elder one, being close to 5 years old now, is the better judge of the two among my kids. He understands my mood in a very subtle way too. He knows that I hate the word "NO", and so, though it invariably comes from his mouth, he realizes immediately how serious I am with my glaring eyes. Of course, time-outs are another remedy for the temper tantrums in my house. And more so, I realized another effective way of avoiding their "NO's" is to get them in a funny or silly mood, with them listening to any word of mine. They tend to listen more to me when I am friendly, than when I show my 'Hitler' attitude. So, what's there to lose? No one's ego!


--------> A common problem in any kids household is the unending clutter, in the form of toys, books, clothes,etc. Modern-day parents tend to go overboard with their kids, buying everything and anything a child points out to. True, a child is an apple of a parent's eye. But, in the process of buying all the unnecessary stuff, a house will be just changed to a sad dumpyard, instead of a lively children's home. My house is also not too much different. We have umpteen number of toys, tons of books, pencils, crayons and all the crazy stuff.
But my solution to getting organized ? To dump the clutter as soon as possible. I tend to sort out all the unused toys and clothes almost every month, and would give them to charity. I tend to recycle all the paper-work as soon as possible, especially the meaningless crayon scribbles.
And of course, teaching the kids to clean-up as soon as the play ends. Thats the most important part! As a rule, I don't allow toys in any other room in my house, other than the kids room. Let it be a mess until they play...After all, it's their world. I let them indulge in their crayons, puzzles and whatever they like. But the fun is confined to that room only. That being said, I find the rest of my house toy-free and more organized.

--------> As a mom, I know how little time you get to yourself, especially taking care of your health and beauty. But, one important point to be noted is that our health is very vital so as to take proper care for our little ones. One should never neglect oneself. Well, am literally working on it.(I still need to be reminded of the daily Iron intake for my anaemic problem).

That being said, a kid and his tantrums are best understood by his parents alone. It's upto you to decide to get the best out of him, in your own little way, thus ensuring a more disciplined kid and an even more happier home.

Happy Organizing !

Dispelling some myths

Whenever I encounter some to-be mommies, I just smile at the uncanny similarities amongst all the women. The anxieties about eating right, the worries about mommys tummies, the anticipation about the new-born, the loads of shopping for them, all of them are literally so common among the pregger ladies that it only brings a smile on my lips, with me facing a similar phase some 4 years ago.

----->When I became pregnant for the first time, I was very ecstatic and worried for a little while too, with me being in my final year of engineering, and having serious doubts on coping up studies along with pregnancy. Though it was a planned pregnancy, nothing could prepare me than the live experience of having a live organism inside me, growing by leaps and bounds with each passing day.
Myth : Coping both motherhood and college is a tough task
Truth : It's tougher than you think. I remember taking all the steps to my second-storied computer lab in college, while I was 5 months pregnant ! Trust me, I just craved for an elevator, or worse, I was just craving for a long leave from college.

-----> My elder son was definitely a very active baby, right since he was in my womb. As the third trimester approached, my doctor told me about the constant kicks a baby would give, reminding the mom that it's either hungry or might be even just playing inside their haven. But what she didn't tell me was that it was a constant process, a 24X7 schedule my baby planned for me. My doctor thought that I was exaggerating when I told her that my baby just wouldn't stop kicking from inside the whole day. She just rolled her eyes saying "An active baby !" ...while I found myself rolling on the bed the entire night, almost getting insomnic.
Myth : Doctors know it all !
Truth : Well, undoubtedly... I had the best doctor attending me, who was just a call away to answer all my weird questions even in the middle of the night. But, the second time, when my Singapore doctor confirmed it twice that it's a baby girl in my womb, I had my shopping bills piled upto Rs.7000, only for the new-born. I think that doc still owes me that money with me giving birth to a boy.....hehehe

-----> My first pregnancy was definitely a memorable one, with me putting on 28 kgs altogether in the entire 9 months. Blame it my ignorance, or blame my mom's utter pamper, I was always hungry and devoured all the tasty ( read fatty ) dishes, which my mom used to dish out as soon as I craved for them. I couldn't actually decide when to stop, and needless to say, I had very tough time in shedding all that baby weight.
Myth : You need to eat double your intake, because of another life in you.
Truth : You definitely don't need the double intake. It's just gonna make you double the size, that's it ! The baby definitely requires extra nutrients, which can be replenished with healthy diet, including veggies, fruits, and milk. Low-fat is best recommended and is also enough. Moms don't need to consume FATS in order for the baby to be healthy.

------> With a heavy baby inside, and me turning to be heavier than expected, my activities were just cut down to watching TV and eating. I know, am setting a bad example.... but this was only the first time ( when I had all the time for myself... with me taking a long leave from college through my last semester). I didn't hear anything about pre-natal yoga or anything for that matter. I was just busy watching my favourite saas-bahu serials on Star Plus. The second time was definitely a hectic one, with me managing my toddler and cooking and doing all the household chores until my third trimester.
Myth : You should not strain yourself. Rest is very important for a to-be-mother.
Truth : Of course, no one advices you to strain yourself when you are pregnant. But of course, many girls assume it as a great vacation, pampering themselves with excess food and very little activity. Don't be angry with me, because I did the same thing,
and now me advising not to pamper yourselves. I am just trying to say that it's always better to be health-conscious than behave as if getting pregnant is the only excuse for eating relentlessly. Enroll yourselves in pre-natal yoga, it's a definite remedy for a mom to be in shape post-delivery. ( If not me, I have a friend as a living proof ! So trust me )

----->After the baby ( I delivered through a C-section), all the elders amongst my friends and family kept visiting me and loading me with their own-versions of mommyhood advice. I was so overwhelmed with the entire thing of nighttime feeding, diaper changing, and the constant wailing of my child, that I found the other people's advices to be just throwing me more into a soup. I just couldn't stand anyone telling me anything, be it good or bad. I mean, no one actually gave me bad advice....but the blues definitely hit me hard, and I just wanted to flee somewhere ! (for a while, of course)
Myth : Listening to old wives tales will help you and your baby.
Truth : Sorry, but I wasn't ready for them. I had my own versions of anti-advices for all the advices offered. I was trying to be logical, and I don't see why a new mommy should devour atleast 2kg of "Desi ghee" within a month !! I mean, please....a woman should atleast judge what's wrong and what's not... not relenting to any grandmom's tales.


----->When I joined my husband in Singapore ( my older one was now 3 months), my mom accompanied me as a gesture to help me with my first-time motherhood. Though she was scheduled to be for atleast 3 months, she had to pack bags within a month, with my utterly-dependant dad finding it extremely difficult to manage anything for himself. I still remember the day, when we dropped off my mom at the airport and came home with trembling hands, because I wasn't even good with diaper changing. I literally wept in my husband's arms, with a gushing flow of anger and fear. The first bath i gave to my infant was definitely a memorable one, with me learning a great lesson in life. You can do anything !
Myth : Handling an infant, doing all the motherly chores can't be done alone.
Truth : An exterior help is always welcome, but if that's not possible, moms need not panic. Just take it slow and easy, and remember "Nothing's the end of the world ! " Your baby is going to follow your routine, not someone else's. So, its upto to decide the way you raise him.


------> With months rolling by, and my first-born slowly turning into a strong toddler, I was getting worried with each milestone. Be it the first tooth, the first crawl, the first steps, the first words... everything were recorded on the video and I found immense joy in sharing them with my friends too. When he didn't crawl until 9 months, I was worried. When he didn't call me "Mama" until 18 months, I was worried. In fact, I kept pestering my husband to visit a speech therapist for my son too. Now putting up with his non-stop chatter, my hubby jokingly asks me if I still wanted to go to the doctor.
Myth : Will my baby ever crawl or respond like that kid ? ? Will he speak like his pal ?
Truth : Any child (unless there's a serious problem) would definitely cover his milestones within his own body limits. Never push a baby too hard. And most importantly, never compare a child with other kids. Every child is unique !!

-------> After my first-born started preschool, I had lots of complaints about his wandering off from the group activities, and about his short attention spans. I was beginning to worry about the constant complaints from his teachers about his non-social activities. Well, he was just 3 years old then, and I didn't entirely realize that a three-year old tends to involve in parallel play, and has very little to do with the other kids. By the time I realized this, my older one already began to like school, and the complaints got lesser. Now, he is one of the best kids in school. No kidding !
Myth : My kid is not very social... will he ever get along with other kids ??
Truth : A kid's mentality is his very own ! Nothing can actually change that. It's his own identity and parents should encourage the kids to be friendly, but never push them to be more than they can actually do. It just curls them inwards. Of course, involving preschoolers in group activities might tend to help them overcome the anxiety and fear of handling the outer world. It's all in a parent's jurisdiction !

Actually, its only the first time a to-be-mom would have so many doubts and worries in her mind, while the baby inside is ready to come into this world. The second time is definitely a lot easier and the mother actually matures in her mind, and handling a baby is definitely easier, if not a breeze !

Just dispel all the myths in your minds. Trust me, in a mommy's world... the reality is not really harsh ! Face it ... Enjoy It !