Forever Summer !

Clutching his favourite teddy, my younger one rubs his sleepy eyes and asks, “Where’s papa?”
With me taking a hint of caffeine and skimming through the daily Page 3 and astrology stuff, I look at him.Even before I answer that Papa's off to office... one look at him makes me grin. Clad in pajamas, waking up after 9am, and immediately settling down before the TV to catch up his daily dose of Mickey mouse, instead of the customary "brush, bath and tiffin-box and school "routine, I welcome summer with all my heart.

Yes, summer is here, and so are the holidays for the kids. My elder one is yet to join the wagon (with this week being his last in school) but that doesn’t stop me from getting those summery jitters, with equal portions of mixed feelings.

Moms love it, moms hate it.

Summer holidays are nevertheless, an unparalleled phase of every child, where he can be himself, not having to worry about homework, and school bus and sleeping before 9pm.

It’s ironical that holidays for moms and kids are mutually exclusive. When they are happily enjoying their leave from school, it’s me who faces even more challenges in introducing more activities in their daily routine, while catering to their daily food cravings too. With Chennai being the heat capital of India, the constant downpour of lemonades and Rasnas are unstoppable. There’s also a little bit of junk food creeping slowly into the refrigerator. Fruits are looked down, and jello-s are the flavor of the season. The kids room is sprawled with crayons, and puzzles and glue-sticks, with half-finished ambitious craft works. Computer games, board games and video games. Games are really the in-thing !! Another challenge is to not let the kids go overboard with TV. Whoa !! that’s quite a task.. every present mom would agree in unison that TV is the best way to keep the kids quiet for a little bit of time, while you do a bit of my-time. But then, this gets easy when they go to school, and a routine is set. But, summer holidays aren’t as rosy as they seem. Even for the little ones !! After a little while, boredom ensues and the prospect of getting back to school routine is spelt as “heaven” to both.

As for me, we are lucky to have a swimming pool in our condominium apartments. No commuting, no time hassles. Just a dip in the cool water would melt away a couple of hours so easily, that everyone of us look forward to the evening. While the little ones are shouting for more fun, the moms also form a little “Water-wives club” right inside the pool !!! Gossip rules it all, and all the moms do enjoy this bit of time without any feeling of guilt that you are not attending the kids. Of course, after a bit of struggle to literally drag the wailing kids ( who wouldn’t want to come out of the pool at any time), snacks ensue and then everyone runs off to the playground. By dinner time, kids are so drained out that they are out like a light even before 9pm. And to think, the 9pm sleep is quite a high target when they are going to school. And during holidays, when timings don't matter that much,... they sleep off even before the scheduled time. So much for discipline and time schedules !!!

Another big joke which is ruling the summer is the sleeping arrangement. As an agreement, when the kids were shifted to their own bedroom, they agreed to sleep all on their own only on weekdays ( meaning no school and no tennis for my elder one). Weekends are on us. This was going on quite well, until the holidays spat an ugly truth on us. They have completely shifted to our bedroom, with my younger one reasoning that “No school, no tennis ..so we sleep with you”. We wait until they hit the sack, and are sound asleep… and slowly shift ourselves to the kids bedroom. Every single day, we thank God for not buying a bunk bed for them yet… otherwise I should be finding my hubby on top of me !! I meant the bed :P

Of course, despite all this... one look at their holiday enjoyment, makes me nostalgic of my own summer vacation when life was simply the best, with mom making all the snacks and sweets beforehand, while we spend the summer dashing from our neighbour's house to our's, playing cricket with the local boys, and of course, watching our daily dose of "Mickey and Donald". Life wasn't much luxurious as compared to my kids' swimming or tennis or all these activities. But neverthless, we always wished summer was here forever. I wish the same now... until their schools start !

(PS : Now, could God make that QUICK!)

Aimless afternoons

There are days, when the afternoons seem so aimless.

Well, for starters, my younger kid comes a little later than noon from his playschool, has his lunch, and slumbers off to his baby-nap, saying he's too tired. Yeah yeah, playschool is tiresome !! I am so jealous of the three-year old. Temptation beckons, thinking I could afford a quiet little nap beside my little one, but I refrain. Reason : There was one day, when my elder one, who usually comes at around 3'o clock... had to ring the doorbell for atleast 10 times, before I woke up from my deep slumber, aka a short nap.

Refraining an afternoon nap is the most difficult part in my daily routine. The afternoons are really aimless, when I have to spend a good one hour, wondering what to do, when my tired baby is off to sleep, and me waiting for another tired school-boy who comes home rattling off all his daily endeavours. And if you thought we could have a nap together, once the elder one is back too, then you are in for a soup. There's a bit of homework and lunch-part II... which slowly churns the time to tea-time !! And then, followed by his tennis. My younger one is the ball-collector. The first few days were great for the playschooler. But quickly, he realized that it wasn't much fun, collecting balls, while his elder brother was hogging all the attention of the little girls, with his classy shots. Atleast, the girl in me was impressed with his shots. And one fine day, the most dreadful statement of the year... "Mama, I don't like tennis. I will play cricket"..declared my younger one. And to think, it's just another couple of years for him to start off what he wants, makes me yearn even more for an afternoon nap.

There have been attempts. Not that I didn't try. To while time away, I even tried my hand at some hobby ideas, read Knitting, sewing,etc. Once I felt like an old aunt, I quickly put them back, unfinished, safely under my mattress. Time will come !!

But, not all days are so drab. There are some fruitful afternoons, when I happen to catch up with "Desperate house wives". The latest season is full of adultery, bold statements and catchy wit and humour. Oh, do I love them? Of course, a perfect excuse to say that am busy !! while am actually catching up with the trashiest series in the history of television. God forbid me, in becoming one of them, Desperate, I mean...

Aimless could also be translated as sluggish.

• I attempt to finish off Jeffrey Archer's latest, only its more soporific.
• I attempt to chat up with some of my old buddys, but everyone's sleeping, just on the other side of the globe, at the right time !!
• I attempt to put more effort in making my afternoons more meaningful, only to make it more aimless.
• I attempt to bake a cake or something, but Chennai heat isn't that welcoming during the afternoons.
• I attempt to write a post on one of my three blogs, and guess what, I ended up writing this. LOL !!

God, please tell me am not alone.

Is God listening or is he taking a nap too ?

Happy parenting

It’s been always my mind, and my words… This time, let me mouth some expert’s advice on parenting.

The last weekend, we had an eminent child psychologist visiting our kid’s playschool. The session was supposed to be one hour, but it slowly and unknowingly scrambled to another extra couple of hours. But no one seemed to mind. The young parents were brimming with questions, while the ever-smiling doctor had an answer for everyone. It was one refreshing Saturday afternoon for all those who attended the session.

Let me get to those important points I would like to share with all my readers. You might know some of them already, but no harm in warming up :)

• As young parents of just-borns and infants, there were some interesting feeds I got from the doctor

1. Make sure you introduce curds/yogurt to the infant before he/she is 10 months old. If you didn’t do so, chances are that your kid will never touch it in his entire life.

2. Never leave an infant unattended. If the baby is crying, and you leave him, there is every possibility that even a 45 day old might feel neglected. And you thought they wouldn’t understand ??

3. Every baby is special. Am not trying to sound like Aamir khan here, but yes, every child has got his/her own milestones to cover, and they would do it in their own, unique way. Never, ever compare your baby with someone else’s. Insecurities aren’t really worth when you have your baby’s precious moments to be delighted in.

• Parents of “toddlers who have just started attending playschools” had almost a very similar predicament in their minds. Their kids bite. Not just their nails, but the other kids. The doctor was smiling away, and said that until it may not be too physical and violent, this biting gesture can be interpreted as mere excitement. A toddler, who has been in his confined quarters of his safe haven, has started exploring the outside world, through these playschools. And the presence of people of his same size doubles his excitement… and funnily, or sadly, some kids express it through biting. Remember, some of the grandparents bite the little one’s fingers out of excess love. So, if it’s running in the family, don’t blame just the little one .

• Another hot topic was “sibling rivalry”, with me being a conspicuous victim. Well, it’s a clichéd one, but the doctor just said to be conscious of not showing favor to just one of your kids. Learn to appreciate when the siblings have been coloring, or sharing or having fun together, even if it’s for just a few minutes. And start ignoring their fights. You don’t need to listen to all their complaints, though you should not put a deaf ear to their squabbles. It’s just that you pretend that you are no longer interested in their fights, and it would reasonably reduce their petty fist-fights. Remember, kids just want your attention, and they do it either by crying or making others cry. If they understand that the parent is no longer interested, they wouldn’t even bother!!

• School –going kids face another major hurdle. Bullying !! When in the school bus, there are more chances of being bullied by older kids, and that was one bone of contention during our session.
While some parents advocated self-defence, the doctor was totally against it. She asked to discourage any kind of non-verbal violence. I couldn’t totally agree to it, because self-defence might even be due to instigation. But then, opinions do differ from person to person.

• There was one more point to be adhered to parents who have latch-key kids. New term? Well, that’s what kids who have the keys to house are called. With increasing competition, and with both the parents sweating their energy out in their respective careers, there are some seldom cases of having no choice, except to give the house keys to the kids, and for them to manage all on their own, until the parents are back home. A shocking incident of a 14 yr old, who attempted suicide due to full-blown depression, really shook our hearts. And while the doctor dug into his past, his childhood was a complete independent one, right from being a latch-key kid to having a television in his own room. The communication channel between him and the adults withered down through the years, and his studies affected. This resulted in depression, followed by an attempt to end himself. And he did that by consuming all the tablets existing in the house. Well, it’s not surprising that he helped to medication by himself whenever he got sick, because the parents were a “bit” busy. A sad yet a thought-provoking incident. While am not against working moms, all I can suggest is that kids should always be under adult supervision, be it grandparents or even reliable maids. But remember, no one can beat parent’s attention.

• There were even more points to be noted and shared…but if I did that, it would be no less than a short epic. So, maybe I would come down with another post, continuing to share more about parenting myths and woes.


And with so many enlightening things on parenting, there was just one suggestion which stayed in my heart for a long time.
Don’t rush your kid’s childhood.
Don’t be in a hurry to raise your kids.
How true !!

Revel in those precious moments, and life’s really as good as a baby’s priceless smile.

Happy parenting !!!

The art of raising !!

It was Feb 9. The television was looming large with “My name is Khan” movie promotions. Well, you know SRK. He’s all over the place. Not that I mind. But there was one tagline which caught my eye “In 3 days time, Rizwan khan will know that there are two kinds of people in this world, Good and Bad”.

I looked at my younger one. All I could think of was “For a three year old, he already knows that there are two kinds of people in this world, Boys and Girls.” You heard it right !!! I couldn’t help but chuckle.

The other day, I was reading an article called “ Honey, I shrunk their childhood.” It was all about how the next-gen kids have no longer the so-called starry-eyed childhood, when even simple things used to surprise them. Kids are cooler now, with cooler gadgets, books, schools and even cooler attitude. So what if India is Hot?? The kids are cool at least. But, seriously, raising kids in the present days involves so much of an attention-to-detail that Good parenting has become a kind of degree conferred to the hard-working parents.

In the same process, for me, life is a complete whirlwind of activities. Despite having two kids of the same sex, I have everything different in my house. Such different individuals , they are !! Starting from the gene factor, of who resembles whom, to the shopping factor too, both my sons are as different as chalk and cheese.

As I started on, my younger one knows that he’s a boy now. And that girls are something to be blushed over. Time for me to roll my eyes. One day, he comes home triumphant with an important announcement to make. He is selected for the annual day dance. Well, that was the announcement… the important part was that he was paired up with two girls on either side. He chuckled, he blushed and I asked him if there was any other boy to rescue him. He joyously answered in the negative. Naari naari naduma murari ???

Some trying times also come with the idiot box too. I meant the TV !! Common knowledge for moms and dads, kids love to watch advertisements more than the actual program, until and unless if it’s an Elmo or a Mickey. So, anyway, their love for ads increased as they started classifying each product for each kind of people. Well, there are more classifications in my 3yr old dictionary. There are anyway boys and girls. But it’s more important to understand that there are big boys and girls,(ie; adults) and kids ( his elder bro) and babies (himself !!). Could somebody please explain that babies can’t go yakkity-yak and declare themselves as babies? I tell my younger son that he is no more a baby, as he not only stopped wearing diapers, but also knows how to wear his shorts all by himself. But that only makes him sad and says that if he’s not a baby, then Krittika and Janani are also not babies. Who? The same girls he’s going chayya-chayya with, on the school annual day. OK !! I didn’t really want to break my baby’s heart by telling him the harsh truth that he’s growing up. Hmmm….

Some embarrassing situations with the kids also prop up when they watch some unwarranted ads like Whisper or Durex, and ask me as to who will use them. Do I have an answer? I pretend to be busy !!!

And then, the shopping woes. While my elder one is so simple with his clothes, that he is ok as long as I don’t buy him either pink or purple. "Those colors are for girls, mom"… he declared a long time ago. That’s ok !! At least, he isn’t as choosy as his kid brother. My younger one has such shopaholic genes running through his blood ( no, not mine !!... his father’s !) that he simbbbbly loves going to malls. He tries on all the tees which he finds fanciful, but the main struggle occurs when he irritatingly discards his old tee-shirt and chooses to walk out in the brand-new shirt. I glare at my husband and he lovingly looks at his junior. So much for the gene pool !!!

Now that my 6 yr old started going to tennis, my younger one has to accompany me and wait for that one hour in the tennis court, watching his elder brother play his favourite game. When I asked him if he would also play in a couple of years, he said “No mama, I would play cricket”. I was astonished, but wait… why should I be surprised? It’s my husband’s exact copy am talking with !! It was such a cute moment that I couldn’t resist calling his papa and telling him the same.

The differences among the brothers just doesn't extend in looks...

One likes Rice, the other chapathis.

One likes Pasta, the other noodles.

One likes Books, the other looks.

One likes girls, the other too thankfully likes girls. Ain't I gay for that? Err... i meant happy....

And so, with days rolling into years, I find myself having the most busiest weekdays ever. The inevitable lunches, their extra-curriculurs, their homeworks, ... everything is a big routine now. I just fondly remember those wonderful days, when the kids were still infants, when I could sleep as long as I could, not worrying what to cook for their lunches the next day.

Oh wait, did I mention that they need different things in their respective boxes too ?? Am not relenting though,... Am tough with them !!! :P

Gotogo now, need to make potato for one and paneer for the other !!! :D

The worst investments!!

What kind of parents wouldn't agree to spend more than what they can afford for that special glint in their little one's eyes? Hmm..hard to not find them. Isn't it ? Well, over the years ( 6 to be precise) and with the experience of raising two boys, with the younger one too on the verge of his toddler years ... I would like to list out those times when I invested in the wrong places !! They may be just pennies, but are worth listening and laughing about .. Read on...

• Balloons !! So, you were having a stroll down the beach and your kid squeals in delight for the balloon guy. Undoubtedly, the worst investment in my case atleast. Even before I rake my purse for some change, I can hear a pop, followed by "Oops, I want another one !!" Rolling eyes and promises that I would never spend money and see it burst right in front of the eyes continue...but yeah, arent't promises are meant to be broken ?

• Play-dohs !! After scores of play-doh boxes (edible clay which is supposedly used for playing and modelling structures) in the US, and after having a trying time scraping that stupid clay out of the carpet, I vowed not to buy them again once back in India. But, another promise meant to be broken, I recently bought them which had this special machine which helps the clay come out in different shapes and sizes. Well, kids being kids, toddlers or not, my boys still don't know the right utilisation of the toy, and mixed all the 3 basic colors and turned it into one huge lump of slimy *&it-looking color ball. To top it all, they eject all that from the machine and my younger one says, "Look mama, that's the dinosaur's potty !!". Good point !! Why did I even buy this *&*t !!!!!!

• Toys ! Not the entirety, but there are some toys which you secretly wished you never bought them. Well, there are two situations when you buy toys.

1) When the kid screams at the top of his lungs in a supermarket and when you don't want to get more embarrassed.

2) When the kids pick up their choice of toy and coyly put it along with the other goods, without your knowledge, and then you can't even say no because of the price, after it's billed.

But yeah, after all, they are your own offsprings... so what's there in a toy? But, the point here is, the kid tosses it in his blue or pink or whatever bin as soon as he reaches home and declares that he didn't actually like it. GOD HELP !!!

• Supermarket woes cannot be just singled out. There are just too many. Especially there are too many emotions and those 7 deadly sins churned out at the market out there. Surprised ? Read ahead for more details.

1. Greed : The kid gets greedy suddenly as soon as you reach the candy bars aisle. Even if your intentions was to sneak in one dark chocolate for those dull, moody afternoons for yourself, you can't help but dish out those M&Ms (their name even sound like twins to me !!) or those oh-so-soft marshmallows.
2. Gluttony : Why else do we go to a supermarket? To feed the gluttons in us... dont we??
3. Envy : This happens to parents. It's a common feeling among parents that the other kid is more quieter. You get suddenly envious of the coodling infant in someone else's pram, lost in his own world, while you have your own little toddler screaming and squealing.
4. Sloth : After all the sugary and high-soda diet even before you reach the billing counter, your toddler is either hyperactive trying to pull your hair off (actually you don't need help in this matter..you are doing it already !) or just sits like a sloth, wailing to get back home.
5. Pride : There are some remarkable situations when your heart swells with pride. And that's when your kid reads out aloud alphabets from the cartons, while the friendly stranger gives a nod of silent approval. Bliss !!!
6. Lust : This is for you, those fashionistas !! Am talking about the bodily lust.. dont get me wrong dearies, lust can even be for that unwanted purchase of a new perfume or a brand-new lipstick. Another bad investment for moms !! Didn't you know that babies are miracles? They can instantly replace the sweet smell of the perfume with even-sweeter smell of diapers?? And lipsticks are all over your face and the kids bibs too ??
7. Wrath : After a supermarket tour, the toddler tag is definitely going to get you enough of the store owner's wrath. How else can you explain all those fallen cookie tins, neatly arranged in a hill? None else but your toddler, who wanted only the bottom-most one? Can anyone please explain him that all the tins are the same ? Or if no one can't , please explain the store people that there's no need to plant hills and trees in a store which invites kids !!

The list goes on !!

All you moms, no offense here... I was just trying to tickle your funny bone.

Just remember, motherhood is wonderful. That's one investment your husband wouldn't regret for life !! :D